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AIBU?

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Original poster

18 year old solo traveler. Would you allow this?

264 replies

Pippyls67 · 10/03/2025 10:48

My Ds wants to travel. I’ve never traveled with him. Budget constraints and I’m a very nervous person who has chronic depression and avoids new things . All rather sad for him but I’m glad to say he wants to break out and do it anyway. I have some money saved now and can afford to finance him. AI B U tho to let him go alone. He doesn’t have friends who want to travel at all. Would you say yes or do you think I should insist he goes on an organised young persons type thing instead. I don’t know if any at all though. Does anyone out there have any suggestions? He wants to see and experience things as he’s been terribly sheltered and constrained by me I’m ashamed to say. I’m proud and pleased he wants to grow in confidence himself and live a lot more. What do people think? Any and all advice and suggestions welcome. He loves the idea of Scandinavian countries and also really wants to go to Rome.

OP posts:
welshpolarbear · 10/03/2025 10:57

I went travelling alone and found that people travelling alone made way more friends than those in pairs or groups. Individuals would tend to pair up for short parts of journeys etc.

Doing some shorted backpacker trips for some of the trip would allow him to make friends and get his bearings but not be tied to anyone.

titchy · 10/03/2025 10:57

He's planning Scandinavia and Rome. Europe, safe, decent healthcare, banking, security etc. I thought you were going to say hitchhiking in the Himalayas. He's going on holiday. That's all. To touristy places. Other than insisting he has travel insurance and plenty of money (Scandinavia is £££££) wish him all the fun in the world. And breathe a sigh of relief your anxiety hasn't held him back.

suah · 10/03/2025 10:56

He’s an adult. If he prefers to travel alone then that’s what he should do. If he likes the idea of a group tour then he can do that. But it should be his choice and not what you ‘allow’.

The places you mention are very easy to travel alone and really no need for a tour. I could understand a tour more if there was going to be a big language barrier or if he wanted to go somewhere more off the beaten path but Scandinavia and Rome really aren’t either of those.

CoralDreamer · 10/03/2025 10:56

I understand you’d be nervous, especially as he hasn’t travelled before. What sort of person is he? Is he strong minded, capable, easily lead by others, too trusting? I think this would have a big bearing on how happy I’d be.
He is an adult, and he should absolutely travel and see the world. But could he start off on an arranged trip with other young people so he gets to grips with airports, transfers etc before maybe going solo for the last part of his trip once he has some experience?

Oftenaddled · 10/03/2025 10:56

Alone is fine I think - sometimes a bit safer as less peer pressure.

My advice is, have a good look at travel insurance and data allowances on roaming, book accommodation in advance and get him printed city guides and maps to go with his phone. Make sure he is set up with online banking and a debit card. Agree contact arrangements. Rome and Scandinavia (broadly speaking) sound good places to start.

Icanttakethisanymore · 10/03/2025 10:55

I was going to say 'it's not your choice' but clearly if you are funding it then you could technically impose restrictions, I wouldn't though, if I were you. Encourage him to go to countries which will be easy for him to navigate as an inexperienced traveler; Scandinavian countries will be culturally easy for him and most people speak english but they will be expensive.

Ahsheeit · 10/03/2025 10:55

Let him, but ask to sort out an itinerary with him, so he's knows exactly where he's going, hours he's going to do it and what funds he needs. Let him do most of the legwork. He can do this safely, as long as he's fairly organised and fully aware of risks.

Original poster
Pippyls67 · 10/03/2025 10:55

Feedingpillow · 10/03/2025 10:52

I think the OP probably feels she can stipulate some conditions if she’s fully(?) financing it.

Yes. This exactly. I’m fully financing it. I’m really hoping someone knows of someone else in the same position or something that might be available as an organisation. It’s a big world to be out in all alone!

OP posts:
SUPerSaver721 · 10/03/2025 10:53

He's an adult. You don't get to choose. You can't stop him. He's had a very sheltered life with a depressed mother who has brought him no where. He wants to go travelling, see the world and try new things.

Feedingpillow · 10/03/2025 10:52

I think the OP probably feels she can stipulate some conditions if she’s fully(?) financing it.

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/03/2025 10:51

He’s 18. You can offer an opinion. You can’t insist on anything.

IggyAce · 10/03/2025 10:50

He’s 18 an adult, he doesn’t need your permission. You admit you have already sheltered him, time to let him fly.

Iknowaboutpopular · 10/03/2025 10:50

I think at 18, it's not your choice. He's an adult.

I mean you can advise him on what you think he should do . But insist? No.

Peppercorncrunch · 10/03/2025 10:50

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