To think I'll be a bit of a "loner" for the rest of my life?.

Are you from Spain op? I wondered, because I have friends there.

So you chose to have a baby 5 years a go in a country you hate, knowing full well this would prevent you from going back to your home country which you love, okay.

btw are @Isitameproblem and @Lentilweaver talking about alternate or alternative history and what counts as the latter now?

I just think of my offbeat history reading as ...history...but that's definitely alternative rather than alternate.

I would be pissed off if I met someone who launched into criticising the UK and told off an Aussie guy who launched into that while sitting next to me on the Tube!!

So ask? Ask British people questions about aspects of UK life you don’t understand, rather than fulminating about the NHS, or complain no one is interested in your ‘niche’ interests?

And what non-British residents in the UK moan about online is a completely different issue to whether you saying you want to burn down the NHS at the school gates is likely to make you potential friend material? Or does ‘not being rude about the country you’ve chosen to live in to its citizens’ come under the heading of ‘masking’ for you too?

I mean, obviously you can criticise a country to people who from there, but when they’re your friends, and in the context of an ongoing conversation. Or, if you want to fulminate why not find some way of making friends with other foreigners?

Again, you now have the option to leave the UK. Your dc/s are in uni. It seems you're throwing obstacles in the way.

@Isitameproblem re the thing about Spain, I think people genuinely have issues retaining information - even people who care about you simply cannot retain information. Could it be that? I have a really good memory and it took me a while to realise that people would forget important stuff.

For politics, there will be people who agree, but there are certain things that you can't say in public. I also think it's a great shame that people can't just agree to disagree but unfortunately, that's where we seem to be now as a society.

With your other comments, I'd be willing to bet that lots of people love your favourite band and clearly lots of people loved The Substance. I haven't seen it yet.

None of this stuff seems like a big barrier to friendship to me.

I do think that you probably have to meet a hell of a lot of people to make one friend. Or you have to be very lucky. Doesn't sound like you live in a situation where you can meet people randomly?

I've always had problems maintaining friendships. I'm ok doing things by myself, I'm quiet, but I have strong opinions, but I don't tend to express them. I find the whole thinking of ways to meet up thing tedious. My network is tiny. I'm not in an ethnic minority though. I like doing things my way on my terms. However since getting divorced I think I do need to make more of an effort to join some kind of community. The only thing about not working at friendships is that I will be forgotten if I get ill or die.

You see this irks me. I'm very much in the "if you hate it so much, go home camp (only if you have that option, obviously). Don't further drain our already underfunded, understaffed health service. Which country are you from?

Well, they'll have dual passports, I assume, not really your husband's choice when they're 18, which they will be if in Uni. It doesn't sound like you and your husband are on the same page if you're so unhappy here, and he isn't? You can go back, nothing stopping you. It doesn't matter how long you've been here. You have that option which a lot don't.

You have the option to go back though, if your home country is great, then surely you'd want to take your children there. You sound close to them, similar opinions, etc. A 3 hour flight is short. You wouldn't be far from your adult dcs, who may even want to come with you, if they hate the UK as you do.

I do have the advantage of being in London admittedly.
Several of my friends love The Sentence.
My DH loves Severance and I am going to watch it soon.
I love alternative history and discuss it while volunteering at a local heritage site.
All these are perfectly ok to talk about, and I would love to talk about them if we ever met!

Personally I think there are going to be times where even if you work on your social skills, join the groups, try volunteering etc. it still won't work out for you because you don't meet the right people. Loneliness is a problem that doesn't always get solved and the next best thing is learning to live with it.

Well, I did the same, in that the NHS didn’t manage to treat a debilitating, ongoing issue over eight years, but as soon as I left the UK, my new GP set things in motion, I had ultrasounds and three day surgeries and now it’s completely fine, and this was despite all this being during Covid.

But I recognised that the NHS is a postcode lottery and that while I was fortunate with where I lived when I gave birth to DS in London, by the time I became ill, I was living in a rural area with a massively overstretched GP surgery. I didn’t stalk about uttering diatribes about burning down the NHS to slight acquaintances at the school gates. Or criticising the UK’s quality of life, which doesn’t come across well from a foreigner, even one who’d been living there for decades. When I realised the place wasn’t working for me any more, I left. I remember the good times, too.

Which country are you from? Why did you choose to come to the UK if you evidently dislike so much about it that you want to burn things to the ground?