Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you judge a 26 year old (mum of 2) who casually sleeps with someone who is 18?

313 replies

PinkieToeZ · 09/03/2025 21:32

Would really appreciate people’s opinions on this, thank you

OP posts:
FjordPrefect · 10/03/2025 05:06

No.

Miaowzabella · 10/03/2025 04:35

OonaStubbs · 10/03/2025 00:07

Half your age plus 7 is the rule. So that's 20. Anything younger than that is wrong and immoral.

There is no rule. Not everything somebody says on TikTok has the force of law.

3Sheetstothewind · 10/03/2025 04:07

Yes!

BlondiePortz · 10/03/2025 04:05

If it was a 26yo male and and 18yo female it would be called creepy and a power imbalance because she would not know her own mind

LSTMS30555 · 10/03/2025 04:04

No 😏
Nobody's business but theirs 🤷🏻‍♀️

altmember · 10/03/2025 03:41

No. If it's purely casual sex between two consenting adults, then why should an age gap matter? Could be 18 and 80, but if they're both physically enjoying each other sexually then that's all that matters. (Obviously it's pretty unlikely with that example, but each to their own)

Astrabees · 10/03/2025 03:11

No, no problem at all with me.

Shitmonger · 10/03/2025 03:09

Yeah maybe don’t do that.

doodahdayy · 10/03/2025 02:46

Yes. Desperate

Flomingho · 10/03/2025 02:20

Nobody else's business. Dated a 28 year old at 19 and still together married with a child 27 years later.

ChessorBuckaroo · 10/03/2025 02:06

He could be a mature 18 year old. Aaron Taylor Johnson was a similar age when he first got with his then 40 plus wife. Still together 15 years on he is 35 and she is 58.

And no I wouldn't judge. Not anybody's business what consenting adults do.

KimberleyClark · 10/03/2025 01:42

BIossomtoes · 09/03/2025 21:45

They’ve been together for 34 years and not only are you still judging them but you’ve encouraged your children to do the same? It’s about time you got over it, don’t you think?

Show quote history

Would you think the same if the poster’s 35 year old father had moved his 17 year old girlfriend in with them?

LoveItaly · 10/03/2025 01:40

BIossomtoes · 09/03/2025 21:45

They’ve been together for 34 years and not only are you still judging them but you’ve encouraged your children to do the same? It’s about time you got over it, don’t you think?

Show quote history

Perhaps you should walk in another person’s shoes before making such an unempathetic comment.

Gremlins101 · 10/03/2025 01:34

Would I have done it myself, God no.
Would I judge it, probably not. It's not my business as they are consenting adults.

BlumminFreezin · 10/03/2025 01:28

Yes. Grim. And embarrassing for the 26 year old.

WhenICalledYouLastNightFromTesco · 10/03/2025 01:21

OonaStubbs · 10/03/2025 00:07

Half your age plus 7 is the rule. So that's 20. Anything younger than that is wrong and immoral.

This works really well doesn't it 👀. 60 ÷ 2 = 30 + 7 = 37. I'd have preferred to be shagging a 26 year old at 18, rather than shagging a 60 year old at 37. No offence to anyone, that's just my personal opinion.

Kittenswhiskers · 10/03/2025 01:21

Yes just as I would if you were a man Sleeping an 18 year old, which is barely more than a child

Devonshiregal · 10/03/2025 01:08

Sadtosaythis · 09/03/2025 22:04

Yea I would judge and disapprove because at 18, to me, you are very young and not mature enough to be ina relationship with someone of that age. Saying that, a very close female relative of mine started dating someone who was 34 when she was 19. They are still together. I didn’t think it was right for her then and I still don’t. He is 40 next year and she will be 25. He was in a position of power in her work place and I would say it was grooming IMO. I think it’s icky and not right. Sorry if that’s not what you want to hear but it doesn’t sit right with me.

She was an adult. She met someone and liked them and vice versa. What was her work? This position of power thing is really getting old - I mean if she was an aspiring actress and he was a producer and he offered to get her roles in order to pressure her into a relationship sure. But otherwise, come on.

If you think a 19 year old is old enough to drive a car, or train as a doctor, why are they not old enough to choose who they sleep with?

I mean someone was on here the other day saying their 17 year old had had a baby and wasn’t stepping up, and everyone was saying ‘she’s old enough to do it alone, kick her out and make her take responsibility’ and ‘when I was that age I had three kids, a mortgage and 2 jobs, I could do it so she has no excuse’….so we all believe that a 17 year old is old enough to look after a tiny baby all by themselves but to choose who they’re sleeping with at 19 is beyond their capacity and they’re all vulnerable and coerced?

This site is so stupid. let me get this mumsnet human abilities timeline straight:

  • 6 year olds - capable of playing at random people’s houses without parental supervision.
  • 17 year olds - can raise kids, live alone and be fully adult.
  • 19 year olds - can’t look after themselves at all.
WhenICalledYouLastNightFromTesco · 10/03/2025 00:58

No, I wouldn't. My DH is 7 years older than me, so I was 19 and he was 26. We've been together for 25 years at the end of this year. When I was 18, I was absolutely able to make an informed decision, and I would've been extremely pissed off if someone had said it was weird for me to sleep with a 26 year old.

rainydays03 · 10/03/2025 00:25

No way…a lot of perfect people on here as always 🙄 2 consenting adults…who actually has the time to care, or judge? Weird.

GiddyCrab · 10/03/2025 00:11

Yes I would !!

HeddaGarbled · 10/03/2025 00:09

Yes. I can see the appeal of easily available sex for the 18 year old, but if it’s stopping him from learning how to develop and negotiate real relationships with people his own age, that’s taking something away from him.

OonaStubbs · 10/03/2025 00:07

Half your age plus 7 is the rule. So that's 20. Anything younger than that is wrong and immoral.

BettyBardMacDonald · 10/03/2025 00:03

Yes.

CallIpswichNow · 09/03/2025 23:59

Cathandkin · 09/03/2025 23:12

Yes, I wondered. Do you have uniforms right up until the 6th year in Scotland?

Show quote history

Yes