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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to break up with a man that loves me deeply?

56 replies

Confusedkelp · 09/03/2025 21:21

I’m 26 and have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He loves me a lot, and is very affectionate. We have lots of amazing times together and he often makes me laugh.

However, I’m not very attracted to him a lot of the time. I have to force myself to sleep with him, rather than actively wanting to and looking forward to it. He also snaps very quickly sometimes and can be moody and cold. He has PTSD, which fuels a lot of this behaviour. I feel bad about it because I know it’s not in his control, but I never know which version of him I’m going to get.

im also concerned because we have very different desires in some ways. I love travelling, whereas it makes him anxious and he travels under sufferance because I like it. We both live in London together, but I want one day to move back up north to be nearer to my family when we have kids. But he refuses to even talk about moving, because he said his friends are in London and he doesn’t want to think about leaving them.

im not sure what to do. We have so much fun together on many occasions, and my family and friends really like him. I’m also worried that I won’t ever find anyone else and I’ll regret breaking up with him. So AIBU to break up with a man who really loves me?

OP posts:
Maitri108 · 09/03/2025 21:36

Why are you in a relationship with someone who has mood swings and you force yourself to sleep with? Are you afraid of being alone? Don't you want good sex and stability?

Darkdiamond · 09/03/2025 21:33

End it.

fruitbrewhaha · 09/03/2025 21:33

Oh no. This is not working. You’re young and should fancy your partner.

When you’re perimenopausal, knackered, 20 odd
years together with kids, worries and stresses you may go off the sex but not when your 26.

You will both find someone youre more suited to.
See it as a good thing to let him find someone who loves him. And a good thing to yourself not to settle.

WilfredsPies · 09/03/2025 21:28

You want different things, long term and you have to force yourself to sleep with him? How is this ever going to end happily?

You’re 26. You’re too young to be feeling like this.

Waterlilysunset · 09/03/2025 21:27

Lots of things wrong that you wouldn’t be able to fix. Next!!

VoltaireMittyDream · 09/03/2025 21:26

You’re so young. There is no need to settle for a relationship with someone you don’t fancy, who is often moody and cold, who is scared by the things that bring you joy, and who isn’t on board with major life plans that mean a lot to you.

He may love you deeply, but - to put it very bluntly - that’s not your problem or responsibility. It doesn’t mean that you need to let his anxiety and mental health issues run your life, or that his fears & troubles & aversions are more important than your desires and enthusiasms.

You’ve got so much vitality, you can have a lovely life. You will meet someone better suited if you just allow yourself to take your own happiness seriously. Don’t throw it away into this bottomless pit of a relationship.