WIBU to split cost of holiday four ways?

With the update on circumstances I’d also suggest 40:30:30.

Yes - APD is probably £15, if economy and not long haul. You could certainly subtract this.

This is something for the rest of the family to offer if they think it's needed and it's their way of showing love. OP can't assume it and bill them for her child's expenses. Your family sounds great but her family probably isn't in exactly the same situation.

Fair way to do this would be first to look at the price for four adults vs three adults with one child. If they are different, get the price for three adults without child. Subtract that from three adults with one child and that's your child price.

If you just do it by comparing price for three adults vs price for three adults plus one child, you may see a discounted rate that would apply to any fourth traveller, child or adult, so it's not your child's discounted rate.

If price for four adults is same as price for three adults plus one child, you pay 1/4 for you and 1/4 for the child.

If it's not far off, I'd offer to pay the 1/4 anyway, but that's up to you.

Tell the family how you worked it out, tell them what you are paying, and if they want to subsidize you and the child that's for them to offer. But people show love in other ways - I wouldn't expect anyone to pay my child's flight and accommodation. Hope you get some free babysitting out of them though, and hope you all have a great time!

The flight price will be different due to APD so if it's split 4 ways the op is subsidizing the other adults. You really need a proper breakdown of costs.

This seems the best solution.

Maybe split into 7ths. Adults pay 2/7ths, child 1/7th.
I'd just split it three ways but aware a lot wouldn't.

I don't understand your logic in the context that these 3 women love eachother and wabt to spend time with eachother.

If my 2 sisters and I each have a holiday budget of £1000 but one of us has a child and the other 2 don't, then if we were to split the holiday cost 4 ways we are limited to holidays that cost no more than £2,000 for the 4 of us (including the child) despite there being a theoretical budget of £3000. The two childless sisters may only be paying £500 but are getting a significantly less luxurious holiday than they could afford and have to compromise on comfort and facilities that are available at a higher price point. The 2 childless sisters are having to slum it uncomfortably to stay within the budget of the 3rd sister.

If we choose a holiday where the sister who has a child pays the £1000 they can afford and the 2 sisters without children pay £800 each then the whole holiday costs £2,600 and is a step up the ladder of comfort and luxury and all 3 of us have a nicer time, and the 2 childless sisters have a bit leftover from what they could afford for extra treats of they want.

In our family, where we do love each other like this, we are happy to cross-subsidise eachother because the alternative is either not going on holiday together at all or going on holidays which are uncomfortable and don't meet the standards we consider the minimum for an enjoyable break.

If it was my niece or grandchild I would be happy for the cost to be divided by three.

@rateddoingmagic I don't understand your logic. If the mother of the yiung child has a lower budget by virtue of having a child then she needs to go on holidays that match her budget and suggest them so things are fair.

As a mother, I'd have difficulty subbing one dd and not the other. I'd probably pay for some of the holiday for both of them.

I think you're right that this is a difference of perspective but I would see it as :

a) well maybe maybe not, it's possible the OP earns more than her mum or sister, and in any case the onus is on her to choose a holiday she can afford. If she was going without them, she would need to pay for herself and her child so why not when she travels with someone else?

b) I actually sort of think of this the other way entirely, I am sure they love each other but I don't think of going on holiday with a 3 year old as a high treat, I would not be pleased if my relative suggested that I should be so grateful for the experience that I should want to pay extra

I think the OP should just propose a 4 way split and if her mum/sister want to subsidise her, they can offer to.

As an aside, I don't get the "the 3 year old isn't earning" comments, well no of course they aren't earning, they are their parents' responsibility.

I would just split it 4 ways

Because the 3 year old isn't earning.

in my experience, it depends on two things, how much the other adults love/want the child there and the relative income of the adults.

It's tricky, but if you can afford it and would have gone anyway if you'd have to pay a quarter for DD then I just split it four ways unless the others suggest otherwise.

if I was one of the others, I'd suggest 3 ways, unless I was on a low wage & you were on a high wage.

APD is not the same for children as adults. And many hotels/accommodation charge less for a child.

I'd split it initially 4 ways and then take the quarter share and divide that into 2 and add half to your share and quarter each to A and B.
This means
A and B each pays 25% + (25%/4)
C pays 25% + (25%/2)

If it was £1000
They pay £250 + £62.5 = £312.5
You pay £250 + £125 = 375

So you are paying more for the child but not as much as a full adult price as the child will definitely not cost as much

The thing that the split-four-ways advocates are missing is that (a) the mum of a young child doesn't actually have twice the holiday budget of a childfree woman or parent-of-adult-children woman and (b) these 3 women love eachother and want to be on holiday with eachother, and presumably the two women who aren't the mum of the young child both love the child and want to spend time together. Unless the mum-of-young-child also happens to have an income that is double that of the other two women then it is reasonable for all 3 to share the costs of the holiday with a small but non-doubling extra amount coming from the mum. The splitting-four-ways method is what is appropriate if sharing costs for something with strangers or relatively distant acquaintances who have no ties to one another.

I can’t understand why it wouldn’t be shared 4 ways? Regardless of the child’s age, she’s taking a room with her mum just like the other 2 adults are. And flights are the same pp so it’s divided by 4.

The mum pays the costs for her child ( plane, the room might be free for the child, meals, other travel) and then split the bill three ways.

I think splitting 4 ways is fair here.

I’d say to split 3 ways if the other adults each had their own room in the apartment, but they’re sharing so in exactly the same position as you and your child.

I would split 4 ways. Personally I wouldn't be happy with 3 ways as it isn't my child

If all financially comfortable ask if DGM and aunt are ok with a 30+30+40 spilt. You should be prepared to pay 25+25+50 though if there is no child discount. Pay your own costs e.g food and outings when there.

I feel like you should pay half the apartment then whatever the flights cost tbh kids fares normally a bit cheaper than adults.

The mother and child pay what it would cost them to book as one party. If it is the same as for the other two adults, they may chose to sub you.

Sadly @Eldermilleniallyogii it costs money to take DC on holiday and I am guessing yiur mum/sister will do a bit of childcare.

Unless you have to pay for the plane fare for your daughter. That’s on you.