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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is obvious that you are roasting the chicken...

181 replies

Neverenoughbiscuits · 09/03/2025 18:13

DH and I both been out with different DC today. Had a discussion in the middle of the day around what we were having for dinner (Chicken Caesar salad with diced roast potatoes). Likelihood was that he'd be home first and would get dinner on.

We have a whole chicken (no other chicken) in the fridge for the salad. He sent me a message asking if he "should roast the chicken". I didn't see the message so have just spoken to him and apparently he was waiting for me to reply so hasn't put the chicken on. Given that we have no other chicken and he is aware of what we were having, AIBU to assume that it was bloody obvious what to do with the chicken and that he didn't need me to tell him?

I'm pretty grumpy that we're going to eat really late and he's having a strop because I asked him if he thought we'd be eating it raw.

OP posts:
Davros · 11/03/2025 10:15

Didums, the man can't decide what to do and only functions on the (unavailable) instructions of a woman. I can't believe how many people are defending him because OP didn't give full instructions and wasn't available to give directions

MarxistMags · 11/03/2025 00:35

You just have to accept the fact that men need step by step instructions.
You could have gone to a Supermarket for cooked chicken ? Then had the chicken the next day.

Every time we come back from holiday, when we're about 20 Minutes from home, my DH asks ' what's for tea ? ' I always answer 'sheeps shit and tatties'

obsessedwithfreshbread · 11/03/2025 00:18

2Rebecca · 10/03/2025 23:45

I also think roasting a chicken just for it to play a small part in a salad sounds a faff, just buy a chicken breast or 2 and chop and stir fry it

Completely missed what others are saying.. why serve it as ordinary "Sunday Roast" when you could make a couple of amazing meals and some lunches. It's always cheaper than buying chicken already butchered down 🤷🏻‍♀️
I can buy a chicken for £8 or a packet of pre cooked chicken for £2,49.
The precooked does 2 lunchboxes.
The whole chicken will do a meal for 4 plus (not a roast) and 4 lunchboxes and will give stock for soup for me WFH and another portion of stock for a tea in the week

2Rebecca · 10/03/2025 23:45

I also think roasting a chicken just for it to play a small part in a salad sounds a faff, just buy a chicken breast or 2 and chop and stir fry it

BlueFlowers5 · 10/03/2025 23:26

I have Yorkshire puddings with my vegetarian roast dinner (ducks and hides).

PearlyShamps · 10/03/2025 22:39

If I were in his shoes, I'd have followed up the text with a phone call, if I had received no response from you. It would have been sensible to assume you'd not seen the message. It's a bit of a feeble excuse on his part. Also, if it's custom in your household to roast a chicken for a ceasar salad, then I'm not sure why he needed to ask?

Pippyls67 · 10/03/2025 22:18

You are being unreasonable! He didn’t know if you maybe meant just pan fry part of it. That would be quicker and easier for the dish you describe. I’m with him on this I’m afraid.

Molstraat · 10/03/2025 21:21

He's an idiot.

Like you I regularly roast a large organic chicken and I then strip it completely and use leftovers for a chicken curry/stew with loads of veg.
I make great soup with the chicken stock.
Zero waste.

ItisIbeserk · 10/03/2025 20:54

But he’s not the majority of people. He’s a man who has eaten the dish before, cooked like that. Or perhaps as has been said already, the OP really just wanted him to have a bit of initiative and prepare some food without needing her to direct him in it.

KnickerFolder · 10/03/2025 20:38

Maybe itisIbeserk but despite being unanimous in our household that warm chicken has no place in Caesar salad 😂 we all have our own way of making things, different recipes for the same dish and some things that only one person cooks 🤷‍♀️ Unless her DH has roasted a whole chicken to make Caesar salad before, it’s not unreasonable to check. As this thread shows, the majority of people wouldn’t roast a whole chicken for Caesar salad.

ItisIbeserk · 10/03/2025 20:08

But this is them and their house. Presumably this isn’t the first time they’ve eaten this dish and eat it warm every time. The OP’s DH isn’t consulting a MN jury at this point.

KnickerFolder · 10/03/2025 20:06

Deboragh · 10/03/2025 19:17

How on earth is it being 'wasted' if it's being eaten in a way they enjoy. What a strange comment.

Show quote history

The majority on this thread seem to favour cold chicken in salad from the comments. If you are going to eat the chicken cold, it is quite wasteful in terms of energy to roast a chicken to cook it down for a cold salad then use the cold leftovers to make a curry or something the next day, @Deboragh.

UndermyShoeJoe · 10/03/2025 20:05

In our house dh would have been asking as in should it be put in the smoker or roasted.

Loved smoked chicken in wraps with salad 🤤

JustMeAndTheFish · 10/03/2025 20:03

Neverenoughbiscuits · 10/03/2025 13:24

Traditionally Yorkshire Puddings were made with the dripping off roasted meat, generally beef or mutton. Beef then became the mostly widely eaten.

We have always stuck with this. I generally use beef dripping as fat in my yorkies. Don't feel the need to have them with any other roast.

Show quote history

My Yorkshire granny cooked three slabs of Yorkshire pudding for a roast dinner; starter was YP with gravy and onions sliced into vinegar with a sprinkling of sugar, second slab with the beef (more stodge = less meat) and pudding was the third YP served like a pancake with sugar and lemon. A tradition that I continue when my kids are all here.

KnickerFolder · 10/03/2025 20:01

soupyspoon · 10/03/2025 08:16

But how do you think the cold roast chicken gets there in the first place (notwithstanding that chicken in a salad should be warm in my view)

The chicken gets roasted in the first place

I asked earlier in the thread what people are using for chicken in their salads if not cooking up a chicken first? Pre cooked chicken?

Leftover roast chicken, @soupyspoon 🤷‍♀️

I would have checked like the DH because chicken Caesar salad is usually a leftover dish for us.

Deboragh · 10/03/2025 19:17

JandamiHash · 09/03/2025 18:26

I get where he’s coming from him is also think “surely she doesn’t mean to use a massive chicken for a salad”. You’d also be annoyed if you picked up a few breasts from the co op and came home to find the chicken you’d been saving for a roast was being wasted.

How on earth is it being 'wasted' if it's being eaten in a way they enjoy. What a strange comment.

Prettydress · 10/03/2025 18:52

Sorry your thread has been derailed with people making out that you gave him mixed messages as it was a whole chicken.

When I message someone with a question that needs a timely answer and I don't bother following it up, I'm basically relinquishing responsibility. That's what I'm assuming he did. He should have phoned you once it got obvious that he was running out of time to cook the chicken.

YANBU to be annoyed.

ZoggyStirdust · 10/03/2025 18:41

Pretty sure if the post was “I came home to find my husband had roasted a whole chicken for the salad and not the small pieces we had / waited for me to arrive with chicken breasts. What a waste. He’s an idiot” then you’d be told to leave him…

NellieJean · 10/03/2025 18:33

Poach with vegetables, herbs. Let it go cold and use for salad. Next day you have lovely stock to make soup to which you could add any left over chicken plus small pasta like orzo or butter beans etc for another meal. I should confess this post was dictated by DH who would have done this without thinking.

soupyspoon · 10/03/2025 17:49

ItisIbeserk · 10/03/2025 09:49

I think that was very much @IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads's own point.

It's also been an eye opener to me how many people are thrown by the idea of cooking a whole chicken and then using it in various meals. (Is the word 'roast' the root cause of some of this?) You can't buy free range chicken pre-cooked anywhere I can shop easily, and it's hard (and expensive) to find free range or organic chicken breasts in some too, or thighs, which I prefer to cook with when I can.

It's incredibly easy to roast a chicken too - it requires virtually no attention - and then you've got a whole chicken's worth of meat to do interesting things with. I also now very much want a warm chicken Caesar salad.

Show quote history

Its also really expensive to buy chicken breasts or thighs per portion compared to what they would cost when coming as part and parcel of the whole chicken.

Davros · 10/03/2025 14:29

Yes, your DH is a numpty who shouldn't need instructions. A second opinion maybe but, when he couldn't get one, he should have cracked on with cooking the chicken

BeaAndBen · 10/03/2025 13:54

Neverenoughbiscuits · 10/03/2025 13:24

Traditionally Yorkshire Puddings were made with the dripping off roasted meat, generally beef or mutton. Beef then became the mostly widely eaten.

We have always stuck with this. I generally use beef dripping as fat in my yorkies. Don't feel the need to have them with any other roast.

Show quote history

Traditionally we beat our children, it doesn’t mean we can’t improve 😂

Vegetable oil smoking hot, batter added, big pillowy Yorkshire puds with the chicken or nut roast, dietary restrictions depending.

DoYouReally · 10/03/2025 13:29

What's the problem with the biscuits?

Does the blame also lie with your DH? 😁

I hope your salad was nice and you've forgiven your DH!

Original poster
Neverenoughbiscuits · 10/03/2025 13:24

BeaAndBen · 10/03/2025 13:04

What madness is this? Yorkshire puddings are for all roasts.

Show quote history

Traditionally Yorkshire Puddings were made with the dripping off roasted meat, generally beef or mutton. Beef then became the mostly widely eaten.

We have always stuck with this. I generally use beef dripping as fat in my yorkies. Don't feel the need to have them with any other roast.

OP posts:
ItisIbeserk · 10/03/2025 13:22

C152 · 10/03/2025 13:00

I'm astonished by some of these answers and think people are getting side tracked by their personal cooking/eating preferences. I see the point of OP's post as, why does she have to do the thinking for her DH?

They discussed if he were home first, he would put dinner on. He knows what's for dinner and he can see there is a whole, raw chicken in the fridge. Does she really need to tell him a chicken has to be cooked before it is eaten? And if he was that perplexed by the different ways in which a chicken can be cooked, why not make a decision and make another meal ready for when OP and DC got home?

Edited

This, this, this! He's an adult, and shouldn't need instructions to make a common sense decision.