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Finally snapped at Boyfriend’s crude comments

306 replies

PeachTea9 · 09/03/2025 17:55

I’m at my wits end with my boyfriend and need to vent!

For context, I’m 31 and he’s slightly younger at 28 and we’ve been together for just under a year.

He has started making increasingly crude comments and I am now getting the silent treatment for telling him to shut it and grow up earlier.

These only began a couple of months ago and started off fairly innocently by being a bit more ‘direct’ with compliments towards me which I didn’t mind to begin with.

This has now progressed to making comments publicly about people we either see out and about or people we know.

Examples:

-‘doesn’t she squash him when they have sex’ (a slightly larger lady compared to her partner - these are friends of mine)

-You could crack an egg with that (a woman we drove past walking home from the gym wearing flattering leggings)

-‘He must be hung like a horse as he’s a bit bloody dull isn’t he’ (after meeting a friend and her BF for the first time)

And the final straw which made me snap today, we drove past a lady on a horse and he said ‘I wouldn’t mind her riding me like that’ and I flipped.

I should have said something previously in hindsight as my anger was building up.

He said I need to lighten up and not be so prudish but for me, this has crossed a line. I said I’m a grown woman and this sort of talk just gives me the ick.

Do you think I overreacted?

OP posts:
Mnetcurious · 10/03/2025 09:19

Doodleflips · 10/03/2025 08:30

just because they are standard ‘lad banter’, that doesn’t make it ok

Exactly what my response was going to be. “Boys will be boys” is no longer an excuse in 2025.

Friestogo · 10/03/2025 09:12

I don't mind a bit of crude humour and neither does my DH. We say stuff between us sometimes and laugh but would never force our humour on others unless we were certain they would find our weird shit funny too. My DH often tells me I have the sense of humour of a 15 year old boy!! 😂I don't like the fat shaming comment though. That is out of order and not funny and just unkind.

However, if you don't like his comments, and you are not laughing or amused by them, then he should bloody 'read the room' and pack it in.

Pussycat22 · 10/03/2025 09:08

PeachTea9 · 09/03/2025 17:55

I’m at my wits end with my boyfriend and need to vent!

For context, I’m 31 and he’s slightly younger at 28 and we’ve been together for just under a year.

He has started making increasingly crude comments and I am now getting the silent treatment for telling him to shut it and grow up earlier.

These only began a couple of months ago and started off fairly innocently by being a bit more ‘direct’ with compliments towards me which I didn’t mind to begin with.

This has now progressed to making comments publicly about people we either see out and about or people we know.

Examples:

-‘doesn’t she squash him when they have sex’ (a slightly larger lady compared to her partner - these are friends of mine)

-You could crack an egg with that (a woman we drove past walking home from the gym wearing flattering leggings)

-‘He must be hung like a horse as he’s a bit bloody dull isn’t he’ (after meeting a friend and her BF for the first time)

And the final straw which made me snap today, we drove past a lady on a horse and he said ‘I wouldn’t mind her riding me like that’ and I flipped.

I should have said something previously in hindsight as my anger was building up.

He said I need to lighten up and not be so prudish but for me, this has crossed a line. I said I’m a grown woman and this sort of talk just gives me the ick.

Do you think I overreacted?

It's nothing to do with age. This dickhead will be a dickhead until they screw the lid down. Please get rid.x

whathaveiforgotten · 10/03/2025 09:08

He has text me to say sorry for his comment earlier and that he has been in his words ‘OTT’ this weekend. He says he has felt sexually frustrated because it has been my TOTM which has meant we’ve not done the deed (sorry for tmi) but says he knows he shouldn’t have said those things…

Surely this response is such a turn off that you can't imaging shagging him again?!

How can you still be attracted to this man?

Mnetcurious · 10/03/2025 09:06

Gross, I would instantly dump him. A man who says and thinks things like that isn’t a man I’d want to be with. You didn’t overreact and giving you the silent treatment should ring alarm bells too.

CautiousLurker01 · 10/03/2025 09:01

PeachTea9 · 09/03/2025 20:26

He has text me to say sorry for his comment earlier and that he has been in his words ‘OTT’ this weekend. He says he has felt sexually frustrated because it has been my TOTM which has meant we’ve not done the deed (sorry for tmi) but says he knows he shouldn’t have said those things…

OMG. Please tell me you’ll block him and move on…

CautiousLurker01 · 10/03/2025 09:00

PeachTea9 · 09/03/2025 18:00

I’m annoyed that I introduced him to my DD before Christmas and he has only started playing up in the weeks since then. I would never have introduced him otherwise!

He was on his best behaviour before but since you introduced him he feels as though he has his ‘feet under the table’ as they used to say and feels he can drop his guard.

All of the comments you list would more than give me the ick - they signal he is a sexist, misogynistic boor who probably saves Andrew Tate podcasts. You were not unreasonable to lose it with him - and would be even less unreasonable to end it here and now. If only to demonstrate to your DD that no woman should be spoke to or about the way this neanderthal does.

Conniebygaslight · 10/03/2025 08:59

PeachTea9 · 09/03/2025 20:26

He has text me to say sorry for his comment earlier and that he has been in his words ‘OTT’ this weekend. He says he has felt sexually frustrated because it has been my TOTM which has meant we’ve not done the deed (sorry for tmi) but says he knows he shouldn’t have said those things…

Jesus Christ OP....If you stick with this guy, in another 12 months he will be verbally and emotionally abusing you and you will be wishing you'd left him now. Stop ignoring these red flags.

DogsandFlowers · 10/03/2025 08:42

Oh please get rid of this overgrown baby and raise the bar, it's only a few centimetres off the floor!!

SororitySister · 10/03/2025 08:36

There's something very distasteful about a thread that started as wondering about appropriate 'jokes' has now turned into people bullying OP to end a relationship based entirely on this and their own insecurities. 👀

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 10/03/2025 08:34

He sounds delightful!

DH once said about his SIL, she must be a cracking shag cause there's nothing going on upstairs

Serpentstooth · 10/03/2025 08:34

This is just the beginning OP. How much more will you take? None, hopefully, lose him ASAP.

FreeWave · 10/03/2025 08:33

His self-proclaimed humorous remarks only make people think he is stupid.

Doodleflips · 10/03/2025 08:30

Jumpingthruhoops · 10/03/2025 00:20

The first three comments are fairly standard 'lad' banter.
The comment re what he would do with the horserider was WAY over the line.

just because they are standard ‘lad banter’, that doesn’t make it ok

Imbusytodaysorry · 10/03/2025 08:26

So you now want to be engaged ?

WitcheryDivine · 10/03/2025 08:24

he thinks his probationary period is over now he’s met your daughter - newsflash it’s never over!

Say he had flu and wasn’t up for sex, would you a) make him a warm drink and have a chilled out weekend together b) complain that you’re sexually frustrated and make comments to him about strangers like “I wouldn’t mind him licking me like he’s licking that ice cream”? He’s gone for option b here and you’re genuinely wondering if that is shite behaviour or not. It definitely is. You know that creepy old guy in the pub who makes leery comments - that’s your boyfriend that is. Now you know you can act. Sorry he’s turned out so disappointing 😢

Doodleflips · 10/03/2025 08:11

PeachTea9 · 10/03/2025 08:01

My self esteem is fine thank you! 😊

Is it though? Genuinely, honestly, is it?
The fact that you are going to stay with someone to blatantly disrespectful and tbh, so gross would say otherwise. This is not said with malice, but concern.

PeachTea9 · 10/03/2025 08:01

Charlize43 · 09/03/2025 22:01

Dump him and work on your self esteem.

My self esteem is fine thank you! 😊

OP posts:
JFDIYOLO · 10/03/2025 01:31

This kid's true personality and attitude to women is coming out now he's no longer on his best behaviour with you.

BMW6 · 10/03/2025 00:37

Oh good grief.

Don't you have The Ick yet?

GiddyCrab · 10/03/2025 00:26

Msmoonpie · 09/03/2025 17:57

No I think he’s vile. It’s disgusting and disrespectful.

This.
I couldn't be with someone like this. He sounds vile.

Jumpingthruhoops · 10/03/2025 00:20

The first three comments are fairly standard 'lad' banter.
The comment re what he would do with the horserider was WAY over the line.

BraverThanTheyThink · 10/03/2025 00:06

Gee whizz... you shouldn't be together in order for you to "sort him out".

If you're meant to be in a committed (which I assume you want as you've introduced him to your dc) relationship, having sex, isn't about sorting anyone out, it's should be a loving physical way of showing your love, of both of you naturally pleasing each other out of a deep sense of giving and receiving of gestures and kindness snd words and building your world with each other.

I'm not saying he's too young for you because of his birth age, but he's way too immature in his attitude.

Stick to your guns, and don't let his view s on life and people drag you into his pit if degradation.

Beware for your daughter too.

Seriously, you'd be better alone, and raise your standards before searching for your forever person.

Normallynumb · 09/03/2025 23:47

Sounds like he's reverted to type
I would not put up with that
You didn't over react

GreenCandleWax · 09/03/2025 23:44

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 09/03/2025 17:59

Blimey, some blokes stay fourteen for a long time, don't they? A lifetime, seemingly in this case.

Yet women seem to be desperate to cut them a lot of slack. We all deserve better.

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