Finally snapped at Boyfriend’s crude comments

If this wasn't enough to make you dump him, without seeking advice from MN, then your self-esteem isn't fine......

Funny how he's only recently become "clumsy with words".

It wasn't a one-off, pissed occasion though - was it? He's done it more than once and when he's sober.

He doesn't need to be pissed to invoke the old saying "when the beer goes in, the truth comes out" - does he?

This is who he IS.

Apart from the constant sex stuff, which I'd find tedious - it would kind of worry me, in your place, that he's:

1. giving you the "silent treatment" for asking you him to stop doing something you've told him upsets you. Even if it's somehow really important to him to make these remarks, he should be able to discuss it with you and at least consider trying not to speak that way in front of you. The silent treatment can be a red flag if it means he's trying to control your behaviour by punishing you for having (or voicing) a different opinion/different needs in the hope that you'll stop speaking up. (And while the way you phrased it may be a little rude, so's a lot of the stuff he has said, so I doubt that's the issue!!)
2. trying to get you to change your boundaries. He may like speaking this way and think it's fine, but it can't come as any surprise to him that you, like a lot of people, do not. Why "you're a prude and must stop being one" rather than "I guess we have different standards/views/norms about this"?

He's showing you who he is, be careful, OP. I would never have such a person around a child. What a horrible example he's giving, sounds extremely emotionally immature.

Disgusting.

But he won’t change. He’ll be on his best behaviour for a while but then revert back to this.
You will just get annoyed every once in a while and snap at him. He’ll behave and then the cycle will just continue. He’s showing you who he is yet
you aren’t going to get rid. You’re almost defending him in your responses on here. Someone said something about improving your self worth and self esteem, I agree with them.

As you're an independent woman with a DD, I'm surprised you want a man in your life who thinks these things, regardless of whether he says them out loud!

‘Until he starts behaving like a proper adult again’ is not good.
You don’t need two kids to look after.
He may apologise and be on his best behaviour but sadly the mask slipped and you saw the real him.
The real him is about 12.

But why haven’t you just ended it already? An apology is cheap and meaningless- it’s not hard for him to say the word sorry. He’s shown you by his actions and words the kind of man he is, his opinion about women and sex. He’s also given you the silent treatment as “punishment” for calling him out. WHY are you giving him another chance?

When people say things like 'nobody's perfect' about dating they mean like... he leaves socks all over the house or gets a bit defensive when you argue, not... making crude misogynistic comments then blaming it on sexual frustration. It's really not the same thing - the bar doesn't actually have to be that low just because some people have been conditioned to think that its is! You deserve better!

The comment about a woman being bigger than their partner wasn’t just a bit of fat shaming. It was a warning. He thinks women should be small. Is he going to be thinking this about you if middle age and perimenopause gives you a bit of extra padding? Is he going to assume everyone thinks like him and is pitying him getting squashed by his non skinny GF?

The comment about a woman being with someone dull because they must be hung like a horse is very telling of what he thinks makes good sex too I.e you take your massive dick and shove it in and a woman is happy even if you have zero personality or decent sexual skills.

As for him leaking stray sexual energy every time he hasn’t been serviced to his full satisfaction (with PIV sex)…. This one’s seriously defective. Please throw him back.

Op - you just know this isn’t ok, because otherwise, why would you post?
You have a thread full of people telling you it’s not ok, which deep down you know.
The question is, what are you going to do about it, and if it’s nothing, why?

You appear to be dating Kevin and Perry!

Women with self worth don't have the dregs of society in their lives, much less around their children.

Why does he get to tell you how you 'should' feel? Why does he think your actual feelings aren't valid?

Massive red flags OP.

He's shown you who he is. Believe him.

But... why aren't you ending the relationship?

You've got a daughter OP. If she met a guy who spoke like this and then said it was because he hadn't had sex with her would you think she should stick it out or just break up with him?

We teach our daughters what a good man looks like by the behaviour we accept.

Later in the week? Never again OP!

I think your confidence and self esteem need work, this man is a vile misogynistic bell end, pleeeeease don't allow him anywhere near your daughter EVER AGAIN. What you decide to do is your choice but she doesn't have one

You ‘sorted him out’? 😭 This gets worse. And worse.

I agree with the others about your self-esteem. I have no idea why you’d bring someone like this into your daughter’s life. He may have been in his best behaviour for a while, but now you know what he’s really like. And it is not good.

No. Just….no.

This is not a man. He is a pathetic little teenage twat who is blaming you for his absolute gobshite for having a period and that apparently rendering him ‘frustrated’.

He’s so gross I can’t believe you’ve not already ditched him. You have a daughter. 😫

Sorry wrong thread