DH has this really annoying habit where if I'm going out somewhere with our child, and he isn't joining us, he will just ask his older DC if they want to come with me without checking with me first.
For context there is a large age gap so it changes the dynamic pretty significantly.
As an example, I've been really busy with work recently and felt like I haven't spent much quality time with our 5 year old. Yesterday I knew DH had some work to catch up on at home so wouldn't be coming anywhere with us and so I decided to take DD out for the day and spend some time with her. Wasn't anywhere fancy but she loves the outdoors so a walk and lunch sat somewhere outside and she's happy.
DH asked what I was doing with DD, I told him and then 5 minutes later I could hear him saying to 13yo SS "do you want to go out with Ronnie today? Why don't you go etc"
Aibu to wish he'd stop doing this. It's 50:50 whether SS will even say yes as he is at an age where he'd rather spend the day with friends but it just bugs me that DH just assumes that it's fine and doesn't even ask me first. I wanted to spend the day with DD and not have to contend with a teen who'd be bored and want to go home after 10 minutes. Thankfully DSS said no anyway but DH does it every time (he quite often has work to do on the comp at least one weekend day).
Is there a polite way to tell DH that I'd prefer it if he asked me first rather than just inviting DSS out with me when DH won't even be there himself and that sometimes I may want to say no as well. He gets very defensive of anything to do with DSS so I imagine he'll take it the wrong way whatever I say.