Weddings you went to where things went wrong?

'D'B asked our DS to be a page boy. Lovely. Got him trussed up like a miniature silver Liberace, as per the request. Kept waiting for him to be called in to be part of the procession.
Turns out, he hadn't asked his bride and as she started to walk down the aisle, she hissed at DS (4 at the time) 'go back to your mum'!😱
We were confused, then reaaally pissed off at 'D'B (and his mean wife!)
DS was unbothered and cheerfully de-Liberace'd out of his little shiny waistcoat 🤷
Another wedding, felt so, so sorry for the bride. Her 'D'F had too much to drink and during his speech, recalled 'what a goer' she'd been in her younger years. Absolutely shocking. The poor bride ran out in tears and the groom stood up and apologised on behalf of the 'D'F. In front of him. We all clapped hard. Just awful.

This is going back a bit. A really rough club that would have made the one in Phoenix Nights look classy.
The couple already had five kids, not a single adult in the place bar me and my boyfriend had ever had a job. It was an old schoolmate of his. The boyfriend wasn’t the best at intel so I turned up in an expensive fuschia pink cocktail dress - very 80’s.
On the way in there was somebody ‘on the door’ and we had to pay an entrance fee of £2 each.
About an hour in and the newlyweds had an almighty row. Lots of effing and jeffing.
The bridegroom got on the mic and enlisted to the lads to decamp to the nearest pub, which was even rougher.
I was left sitting there solo until some kind soul told me there was a bingo caller after the buffet and, after all, it’s always better when the men have fucked off who wants them about anyway?
I can honestly say I had a lovely time. I was treated as if I were Princess Diana, but welcomed to the fold.
I have never met a single attendee since. But I have fond memories of the soundtrack of 1987, getting a house at bingo, and ripping my new tights on a chair leg.

As someone who takes weddings, this thread reminds me why they are the best and most stressful part of my job!

We were guests at a blessing after which there were drinks and canapes and nothing else so we, and a few other guests retreated to our hotel in the middle of nowhere planning to have dinner. Unfortunately, the kitchen was closed as they had a big wedding on and this was long before one could send out for food. Luckily one of the waiters brought us a big tray of barbecue food that hadn't been needed.

At my uncles wedding 40 odd years ago, the best man got hammered and decided to dance completely naked around the disco. My rather prim grandmother was not impressed! I was a kid so dont know what happened but I suspect some of his mates got him out of there!

The bride had a fading black eye from where he had punched her.

Marriage didn’t last.

Exactly, @UpTheLaganInABubble1

The couple are in their 50s, and this is their second marriage.
Those kinds of nudge-nudge, wink-wink 'jokes' just didn't hit the mark.

The reception venue changed hands a week before the wedding. The new owners didn’t know about the wedding till the mother of the bride called round two days before. New owners hastily put together a wedding breakfast of chicken and chips for 100 people and conjured up a DJ. It was nice but not quite the elegant affair the couple were hoping for.

Sorry I should have been clearer. Her husband ignored her all night in order to drink with his friends.

Yeah grooms dad. Not sure why I wore it the way I did! 🫣

Totally agree - sex is normal and healthy.

A grown man bragging about how much he's going to "bang" a woman old enough to have teenaged kids is embarrassing, puerile and I'm sure made his (new, step?)-kids recoil in horror. Gross. I'm glad I don't hang around with people who think that's funny, normal and healthy. It's definitely not any of those things. It's tacky at best

Swan, you weren't there.

The 'joke' seriously fell flat. My sil looked very uncomfortable.
Apart from the BM, of course, no one in that room thought it was a bit of fun.

Bloody hell!

I find that a strangely puritan attitude; it's a lighthearted quip, not a reading from 'The Joy of Sex'. As for children, either they'll understand it or they won't, as with anything else they'll encounter in life.

Two family weddings where fights broke out and in both the police were called. In one the bride was held overnight in the cell and in the other the bride spent the night in A & E getting staples in a head wound. First couple split that night and second are still together.

There was another - also family - where all the guests were gathered in the dining room awaiting the arrival of the bride and groom. The MC announced "Please be upstanding to welcome the new Mr and Mrs Smith - David and Jane!". A gasp went out as David was actually Brian... David was the name of an ex fiancee of the bride with whom she had reignited a relationship and many of the guests were aware/suspicious. She subsequently left the new husband for him.

(names changed to protect the guilty!)

Wedding up a mountain in Lake District. Bride was 2 hours late. The seafood buffet was binned because it was left out too long (as she was late) we got 1 cake each during the day. No other food was given because the seafood buffet was meant to be served as a main event.

We had favours of an ikea mug with sharpie names on. As it was so cold everyone was cuddling their mugs and the sharpie came off so everyone had sharpie marks all over their faces.

Brides family went for a steak dinner because they had kids to feed. Everyone got annihilated on the keg of beer.

2nd dance as husband and wife was no woman no cry by Bob Marley

We all poured into the only restaurant open at 11pm and we asked the Indian restaurant who were closing to out all their left over curries into takeaway containers and we ate it with the brides mother in their cottage

🤣

DH's cousin married a lovely woman. She couldn't handle drink but she loved her wine. By the evening reception she was completely blotto, glassy eyed, no idea who anyone was, etc.
We were staying in the hotel where the reception was held and we were woken at 3am by loud banging. Cousin had gone to bed in a huff before his new wife, because she didn't want to stop drinking and partying. She was banging on the door trying to break it down (all 5ft of her). The best man and others were trying to calm her down but she was making such a commotion that the hotel staff called the police. Nobody was arrested but the bride did calm down, groom let her in the room and all was quiet.
We went down to breakfast about 9am and bride and groom were there eating breakfast and looking not bad considering.
The marriage lasted 6 months, a casualty of his sulky temper and her drinking.

I totally agree, @ouipamplemousse

Yep. Despite his cheating. She is very much "any man is better than no man".

urgh that is so pathetic.

The band we had booked got a last minute offer of a season on a cruise ship and didn't tell us till the day before the wedding. They found an alternative but they were a completely different style. It was still fun though.

The baker making the cake couldn't work out how to do the design we'd asked for, so just did some random squiggly lines. Fortunately the reception venue managed to re-ice it for us on the morning of our wedding!

DBs future MIL had a hissy fit in the church because I was doing a reading but wouldn't wear a hat! She was utterly batshit.

Fortunately all the weddings I've been a guest at have been fabulous!

Oh I don't know, the Lightning Strike happened to me once - was chatting to acquaintance, we made eye contact and.......Boom! Most peculiar thing I've ever experienced. We dated for nearly a year then it just fizzled out.

But no one wants to think or talk about it at a family wedding my friend, especially ones with children present. It’s a private matter.

At least in civilised society.

Everyone abandoned the bride and groom in the marquee to squash into the hotel playroom and watch the FA cup.

I remember hearing during planning that when wedding food is really good or really bad, that's what people remember about the event. I think that's absolutely true.