Weddings you went to where things went wrong?

@RafaFan - I think that the comments about ceilidhs were because there was a reference to a 'mandatory' ceilidh. Nothing wrong with a ceilidh, but the implication was that everyone MUST take part that was the problem.

Similar background here, solidly working class - it's hard not to feel there's a class-based element to the 'don't wear white to a wedding' so-called rule.

You’re so far off the mark, it’s hilarious. Rich indeed! 🤔🤣🤣🤣

I grew up piss poor in a mining village with salt of the earth types who care about their community and friends but not faux snobbery.

The one where the groom abandoned his new wife during the evening do to go and do coke with his groomsmen. Bride went to bed alone after being helped out of her dress by a random guest and the groom didn’t get back to the honeymoon suite until 6am.

it didn’t last a year.

She was a bridesmaid though, that's different. Royal weddings rarely feature much colour for bridesmaids in fact, they are pretty much exclusively white or off white. Zara Tindall's bridesmaids wore colour but she's not technically a princess so there must be some protocol over it.

My 18mo son wasn't very well. He was sat with my MIL, but wouldn't settle so I ended up carrying him down the aisle with me and had him on my shoulder as they were doing the ceremony. He vomited all down my back just as we finished. Poor wee sod. He's 15 now, taller than me and we still remind him!

There was quite a bit of discussion about the awfulness of ceilidhs at weddings upthread (not my opinion, I love a good ceilidh). Just be prepared to take the microphone away from any one who gets maudlin from the drink and thinks everyone wants to hear them sing. This happened at a wedding I was at, where an older relative of the bride got hold of the microphone and sang a Gaelic lament that went on for ages. It really took the party mood right down.

@fuckityfux I know they're not the same as us common folk, but Pippa Middleton wore a spectacular white/cream dress at William and Kate's wedding. If it's good enough for them...

I've never understood the "upstaging the bride" or "being mistaken for the bride" thing. Surely all the guests know who the bride is??

'A thing' can only become a thing if enough people decide it is 'a thing'. Outside of 'it's conventional', why on earth does it matter? You're saying 'understand the mindset' as though someone's proposed getting married in a public toilet or something.

BTW I'm late 50s too and the only 'rule' I was ever aware of pre-Mumsnet was that no one's dress should look like a wedding dress. Vetoing an entire colour (plus neighbouring colours), though, regardless of the outfit style and who the wearer is, when everyone is well aware who the bride is, purely so no one will think one doesn't know the 'rules', just seems batshit to me.

Tbh, personally I don't think I would even have cared if someone had turned up in a long white dress, because everyone knew I was the bride. Provided it hadn't been DH's ex and provided their dress wasn't nicer than mine. 😅

My mum's outfit was a pale cream (not yellowy ivory or champagne beige), plain two-piece skirt suit and the only opinion I had about it was that a little part of me had hoped she'd go for something brighter to add a bit of colour to the wedding pics, but she'd chosen something she'd liked and that was all that mattered. But it was a cream two-piece with a below-the-knee skirt, not a long cream dress, and it was on the mother of the bride, so as far as I'm concerned... well, of course that's not weird.

To me 'bad form' suggests a kind of 'whatever will people say?' sort of conformism, which I just couldn't give a hoot about in this sort of context. I definitely seem to be in the minority, though. Mind you, we also dispensed with the conventions of having a receiving line, having a seating plan and having a first dance, because we weren't fussed about those things either. 😄(And no, I'm not trying to sound edgy, these are just not things DH and I care about, so why bother with them?)

Agree. I’m late 50’s and the no white rule has been a thing since I was a kid.

Tbh I can’t understand the mindset of someone who would think it was ok to wear all white to a wedding

Every single person who went to our wedding only remembers the photographer who kind of took forever and ruined it because our meal was delayed he took so bloody long..I wish I'd just told him to go long before it got to that

I don’t know anyone who’d give a monkeys about such frivolous matters in my circles.

Oh I get the unspoken message here. Your 'circles' are far too rich and sophisticated to concern themselves with the same superstitious nonsense as the grubby little proles. After all, the weddings you attend are so grand that there's no way anyone could ever be mistaken for the bride. She's the one in the real diamond tiara and dress with the 30 foot hand embroidered train. How amusing that someone in their New Look polyester tea dress might be worried about being seen to 'compete' with that.

Why on earth does it matter? Nobody should be in any doubt about who the bride is. The only reason it would be odd for someone to turn up in white or cream or ivory would be if she (or he, I suppose) were wearing a wedding dress. That would be odd, I admit, but an ordinary dress that happens to be light in colour? Nah. The photos are a trivial part of the day. Weddings can be good fun (or not) but are really not important in the long run. I have been married for over 40 years now. I can remember what I wore. I couldn't tell you what anybody else wore. I can remember who was there and how happy we all were, and that's what counts.

Depends. If it was more of a yellowy ivory, or a champagne beige, maybe not. But a pale cream that's almost white? Especially if there is no pattern or other colour? Of course that's weird. Presumably as it was your mother you knew in advance and were not fussed about it, but it's not a normal choice and one that most people would know to avoid.

I can't believe there is anyone who doesn't know it's bad form to turn up to a wedding in a plain white dress unless you are the bride.

Same here. I’d never heard of it till I joined MN either. My mum wore cream at my wedding, I wonder if that would be classed as a faux pas by some?

I agree ❤️

That tube platform deserves its own version of a blue plaque 🙂

It is definitely a thing but unless you are wearing an actual bridal gown it shouldn’t really matter. It’s not bad luck or anything, I’m sure black hats used to be viewed as bad luck. My exs mum wore a black hat at ours. She needn’t have bothered with the jinx he ran off with my bridesmaid 6 weeks after the wedding. They are still together and I definitely traded up for my next one.

I've heard of it, @FuckityFux , but i agree with you that it's a load of old arse.

Are people really suggesting that, if you wear white to a wedding, that
a) you'll upstage the bride, and/or
b) other guests will mistake you for the bride?

I mean, really. 🤦🏻‍♀️

melonalone
You “didn’t realise wearing white as a guest was a no-no”? Oh, come off it!
They mightn’t have said anything to you but I’m sure they had plenty to say

I’m in 50’s and only recently discovered this apparent faux pas after reading threads on Mumsnet.

I don’t know anyone who’d give a monkeys about such frivolous matters in my circles. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think that’s lovely in a way.

What tube station was it, do you know?

My Godparents married during the groom’s pre-embarkation leave. Half way through, the air raid sirens went off , and they all had to go into the shelter (tube station). Once they were down there, the Vicar decided to just carry on , and they were married on the platform amongst the other shelterers.

When telling this story ( fairly often) my Godmother’s main comment was her relief that the vestry was undamaged, so they were able to sign the registry and get the certificate. My Godfather used to express his surprise, ‘because daylight raids were unusual at that stage of the War’.

They were made of sterner stuff in those days.

Edited to add : maybe avoid war zones, OP

Well no because as far as they were aware, they paid for a buffet, got a buffet and from their POV it was great. They just assumed that it was brilliant service. Not even my sister thinks that they were BU for that.

ETA it was still a a great night for them and I dont think anyone went hungry, but they didnt get what they paid for.

This is shocking! I'd have been so upset. And the other wedding party didn't notice?!