Why are (some specifically mine) men like this?

Isn't that all the more reason to take your keys???

I have been on many a BIG night out and I would like to be able to get back into my house at a time of my choosing.

I just want to sit the non-key-takers down and ask them some questions about their mindset.

When a man doesn't want to take house keys, it means he's planning a BIG night out!

I have made a one line statement in my first post.

I didn't ask for others comments towards me.

I got several responses picking on my grammar and pulling apart my post.

I was never once 'aggressive'

By responding to insults directed at my spelling/speech and accusations about my viewpoints is not me making a thread about myself. I'm not the one keep @ ing myself.

I am however allowed to defend myself when being taken the p**s out of in a 'pile on' style attack of my seeming lack of intelligence compared to others.

Accusing me of being an online troll making a thread all about me is just false and insulting and adds to the pile on. It really is getting like bullying now. It's not me that needs to look at my behaviour.

I'm going to let the poor OP have her thread back now by NOT responding to all the @s.

I will report further personal insults

Misspelling pandering and doubling down on pandying has made my day.

Don't back down, double down!!!!!

I did also think about the getting into key safe thing! Mine is difficult, when sober in daylight….

Let alone, pissed in the dark!

You need to stop making this thread about you. And I think you need to address whatever is prompting you to post in the manner you are, on an online forum.

If he is drunk there his no way he would be able to open a keysafe the numbers and letters are tiny and he probably wouldn't remember the code so would wake you anyways😂
How about he behaves like a responsible grown up adult man and he makes sure he doesnt lose his keys , I wouldn't be taking that .

I'd hoped the kids had been up at 6.am playing the trumpet ...

I'm glad he's suffering. Let the zero sympathy continue.

Don't try to address it until he's feeling human again.

Then asap time for an adult/adult conversation with him about his behaviour.

I'm not your mum and you're not a latchkey kid.

I need you to start to

Be more considerate to me and the children.

Take responsibility for yourself.

And next time, to take your keys,
have fun - while respecting my need and my right for sleep.

Unless you need a bunch of keys like a jailer, I don't understand why two keys in his pocket is such a burden. He sounds nuts to be making a big deal out of it.

My husband carries about 8 keys everywhere with a lanyard clipped to his belt loop.

He does it because of control.
It's not enough for him that he's going out while you stay at home, the whole household needs to take him out and then you'll have to stay awake to let him back in again. He could very easily get himself into town and take keys with him, like normal people do, but he has made choices to deliberately disrupt your night as much as possible.
No way I'd tolerate that. Tell him that was his one and only strike. Also, look at your own role in this dynamic. You could have said no to the lift, you could have said if he doesn't take keys you won't be opening the door for him, you could have locked up and gone to sleep. If he is trying to play nasty games, don't enable them

Put his keys in a safe place.

Text him where they are.

Go to bed, white noise on. Done.

His refusal to take keys instead expecting me to stay up and wait for him would absolutely infuriate me.

I would leave him locked out. His refusal to take his keys is idiotic.

And allowed by pandering wives.

@TakingBackSunday woman up.

tell him he can take a cab, tell him you’re locking up and he needs to take his key or stay out.

stop putting up with this shit.

Oh, OP. Please remember that you are both modelling behaviours, standards and responses for your children. They’ll take their cue as to what is and isn’t acceptable from you both. I hope this proves to be a one-off, but things like this rarely are. I suspect that he was testing a boundary here.

For all the deeply unpleasant bullies piling on me for a) my opinion and b) using a word they haven't heard used locally (who clearly knew what I actually meant )

Take a look at BBC 'pidgin english' articles. Would you be so snobbish and picky to a Nigerian who used those words ? Thought not.

Thanks to the 'likes' on my messages that aren't visible to those attacking me. I suppose nobody dares put there head above the parapet on here sometimes.

Key safe or put them somewhere hidden in garden, he shouldn't be making you stay up like that. Most of us end up staying out longer than we intended

if he does get up with them he'll just be miserable and probably fall asleep watching them so it's better I get up

Your words last night, he is being miserable with the children by moaning about his hangover! Like they should care? They

How dare he!

Could you actually sleep knowing all that was going on with your children? Knowing he’d fall asleep?

Honestly OP, he’s not a “generally good dad”, stop down playing his behaviour.

You're rather unpleasant

the Irony 🙈

Where I live 'pandying ' is used synonymously with 'pandering' . Country location. Local dialect.

Do you pick on other less white collar areas that don't speak RP English either I wonder. Perhaps you should write to the BBC on their 'pidgen english' articles (look it up) but no, I don't suppose you'd dare pick on that demographics use of language.

How snobby and pious.

I'm out.

😂

Please do. Also - listen to the good advice on here. Raise your standards. He's not "a good dad" if he behaves like this. Your children need a better father and role model.

Pandying is not a "local saying" . The word is pandering. No biggie but also no need to double down.

I won't be responding any further to what is now clearly a 'pile on ' by some posters.

It's so ironic that I'm labelled as the 'aggressive' one.