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Original poster

Why are (some specifically mine) men like this?

285 replies

TakingBackSunday · 09/03/2025 00:52

DH has gone out tonight okay fine, asked me to drop him off but forgot to tell me about the football match so spent 40 minutes in traffic with two kids ... fine whatever, he could have gotten a taxi tho 🙄

Refused to take the keys because he'd be back at 12 (been out since 5) as he knows I can't go to bed without locking the door as I don't feel safe sleeping with two kids and the door unlocked.

Hasn't messaged me since 10pm

Wonder when he'll get home .. wonder when I'll get to go to bed.

Bet he expects me to get up with them tomorrow as well Hmm

OP posts:
SuperTrooper14 · 10/03/2025 22:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Thefsm · 10/03/2025 22:05

Just leave door unlocked? What do you think is going to happen?

I haven’t locked my door in years. Not even when we are out (do have dogs though). And I live in a rough area. It’s highly unlikely anyone is going to just happen to pick your home for a home invasion the one night he’s out late

MoonWoman69 · 10/03/2025 19:06

I remember a post exactly the same as this a few months ago! If you're the same poster, then you need to LTB! 🙄

DiduAye · 10/03/2025 19:02

Not taking keys is controlling behaviour

Audiprettier · 10/03/2025 18:32

TakingBackSunday · 09/03/2025 02:01

I've literally explained in the thread, I offered them him and he said no, he'd be back at 12 so doesn't need them - I'm guessing cos he didn't want to lose them.

I don't even know myself tbh, I did question it but he'd be back at 12 so it's fine 🙄

Show quote history

Maybe do the old "Put a key under a plant pot!" Scenario just for that particular night (better in a totally obscure place if poss). I imagine he didn't want to lose them! 😏
What a cheek though, expecting you to drop everything to pander to his (social at that!) needs. He's an adult I presume? I'd go ahead & lock-up especially with little ones around.?🤷‍♀️

Judecb · 10/03/2025 18:15

You are his servant.

Suzjspik · 10/03/2025 18:07

the father of my kids used to abandon me frequently for wkd football in various capacities. often used to say he would be back by 8pm and returning at 6am. I was staring at my phone all night for a txt or call, we drifted apart and split up as I felt unsupported and lonely. I just think if you don't tell him how you feel about these things or if you have and he doesn't listen, you need to think about whether you are happy with this behaviour forever

LindaLeggings · 10/03/2025 11:43

@gannett
Lived with his parents, who never lock the door.
We have a key safe so if I'm out maybe he uses that or leaves the back door unlocked. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I generally wake up when anyone comes in the house anyway so I don't mind him ringing me to open the door.

RedHot2025 · 10/03/2025 07:55

TakingBackSunday · 09/03/2025 01:09

We have two sets of keys - he wouldn't take his - I actually don't know why but he just said he'd be back for 12 when I raised concerns about it.

It's genuinely ridiculous.

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It is ridiculous, as you say.

However, he has an enabling wifey who will stay up or get up, to let him in whenever he strolls in, so he doesn't need keys or the responsibility for opening the door when he rocks up. 🙄

gannett · 10/03/2025 07:50

LindaLeggings · 09/03/2025 18:31

DH doesn't like taking his keys because they're bulky in his trousers and he rarely takes a jacket.

What did he do before he lived with you? What does he do if you're not going to be in? What ridiculous behaviour.

bigvig · 10/03/2025 07:04

What's he like as a SAHP OP. Are the children school age? Does he do activities with them. Does he do all the housework, look after things like appointments and cooking. He sounds like a thoughtless waster from your post but if he's genuinely a good SAHP I'd cut him some slack this once. However he'd have to take his keys in future. If his idea of being a SAHP is to lounge about and maybe do the school run then I'd be telling him to get a job.

IButtleSir · 10/03/2025 06:52

Halloumiheaven · 09/03/2025 17:01

I have made a one line statement in my first post.

I didn't ask for others comments towards me.

I got several responses picking on my grammar and pulling apart my post.

I was never once 'aggressive'

By responding to insults directed at my spelling/speech and accusations about my viewpoints is not me making a thread about myself. I'm not the one keep @ ing myself.

I am however allowed to defend myself when being taken the p**s out of in a 'pile on' style attack of my seeming lack of intelligence compared to others.

Accusing me of being an online troll making a thread all about me is just false and insulting and adds to the pile on. It really is getting like bullying now. It's not me that needs to look at my behaviour.

I'm going to let the poor OP have her thread back now by NOT responding to all the @s.

I will report further personal insults

Show quote history

I have made a one line statement in my first post.
I didn't ask for others comments towards me.

When the one-line statement you make is as ridiculous as yours was, people are going to comment on it.

I am however allowed to defend myself when being taken the ps out of in a 'pile on' style attack of my seeming lack of intelligence compared to others.

And when you repeatedly use the wrong word and, when someone else politely asks what it means, snootily reply, "Google is available," you are going to get people taking the piss out of you.

IButtleSir · 10/03/2025 06:48

Halloumiheaven · 09/03/2025 09:28

Oh bore off with all the feminist "gotchas"

I'm allowed an opinion that doesn't follow the entrenched 2025 'groupthink'.

In my experience, pandying mothers can contribute to lazy entitled men.

But you do you. Go save the world.

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You mean 'pandering', by the way. Not 'pandying'. Unless you are saying these mothers are using an implement to hit their sons on the palm, which seems unlikely.

And I wonder what the fathers of all these lazy entitled men were up to while their wives were ruining their sons?

JFDIYOLO · 10/03/2025 00:07

Tell him you have no choice but to pin his keyring to an inside pocket. And put his gloves on a string through the sleeves of his anorak. And a label with his name and number for an adult to call if he gets lost.

crumblingschools · 09/03/2025 23:39

We have a spare door key for just such an occasion, when you don't need car keys, or office keys/fob etc., so no bulky key ring

MagnusCanis · 09/03/2025 22:53

LindaLeggings · 09/03/2025 18:31

DH doesn't like taking his keys because they're bulky in his trousers and he rarely takes a jacket.

They could easily accommodate just one key. He doesn't need to take them all.

Codlingmoths · 09/03/2025 22:17

LindaLeggings · 09/03/2025 18:31

DH doesn't like taking his keys because they're bulky in his trousers and he rarely takes a jacket.

Umm what? Thats nice. I won’t be staying up for him to accomodate his perfect silhouette. He’d be locked out until he discovered a key safe or man bag, and both would be totally his job.

Somehowgirl · 09/03/2025 19:35

LindaLeggings · 09/03/2025 18:31

DH doesn't like taking his keys because they're bulky in his trousers and he rarely takes a jacket.

This is beyond ridiculous

biscuitsandbooks · 09/03/2025 19:17

LindaLeggings · 09/03/2025 18:31

DH doesn't like taking his keys because they're bulky in his trousers and he rarely takes a jacket.

My response to that would be "Boo Fucking Hoo".

LovelyLeitrim · 09/03/2025 19:13

LindaLeggings · 09/03/2025 18:31

DH doesn't like taking his keys because they're bulky in his trousers and he rarely takes a jacket.

So you stay up until 2.30 am to accommodate that?

LindaLeggings · 09/03/2025 18:31

DH doesn't like taking his keys because they're bulky in his trousers and he rarely takes a jacket.

LovelyLeitrim · 09/03/2025 18:30

zazazoop · 09/03/2025 18:08

Why don't you get a key box

Or cancel the cheque?

zazazoop · 09/03/2025 18:08

Why don't you get a key box

BettyBardMacDonald · 09/03/2025 17:40

To answer your question, men are like that because there is always, always some woman who will put up with them, no matter how crappy, whiny and selfish they are.

Somehowgirl · 09/03/2025 17:31

@gannett

It makes no sense to me either and I think it's downright imbecilic. Just take your keys in your pocket and attach a lanyard/clip/bungee cord to the loop of your belt if you're that worried.

I'm sure he took his phone and card/cash, so what's the difference?