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Original poster

Why are (some specifically mine) men like this?

285 replies

TakingBackSunday · 09/03/2025 00:52

DH has gone out tonight okay fine, asked me to drop him off but forgot to tell me about the football match so spent 40 minutes in traffic with two kids ... fine whatever, he could have gotten a taxi tho 🙄

Refused to take the keys because he'd be back at 12 (been out since 5) as he knows I can't go to bed without locking the door as I don't feel safe sleeping with two kids and the door unlocked.

Hasn't messaged me since 10pm

Wonder when he'll get home .. wonder when I'll get to go to bed.

Bet he expects me to get up with them tomorrow as well Hmm

OP posts:
Bumblebeestiltskin · 09/03/2025 07:20

TakingBackSunday · 09/03/2025 01:55

He's actually not that bad.

I'm just pissed off and tired, he won't get up with the kids cos he'll be hung over, tired whatever and if he does get up with them he'll just be miserable and probably fall asleep watching them so it's better I get up but it's just really frustrating and it could have been solved if he either took the keys when I gave them to him or come home at 12 like agreed.

"He's not that bad"

Goes on to describe why he really is that bad. Your bar seems very low 😞

Flatandhappy · 09/03/2025 04:04

Not installed for similar reasons but we have a keypad lock which is fantastic so nobody has to carry keys. In future though I would insist he takes his keys and tell him “don’t be such a selfish arse, I am not waiting up for you to get home especially as you don’t always come back when you say you will”. Think the kids might be doing some music practice/playing with noisy toys in the morning too.

OrdinaryO888 · 09/03/2025 03:46

Doingtheboxerbeat · 09/03/2025 03:10

I don't know if it's a man thing specifically but my oldest male friend refuses to take out his phone, whether on holiday, nights or days out.
It's super annoying for everyone and he has come unstuck on many occasions like kicking off after a drunken fight with his bf, storming off and then realising his bf has the keys 😆.

OMG my dh does this when he does the supermarket shop! It’s so annoying when I have forgotten something. He does it repeatedly too.

OrdinaryO888 · 09/03/2025 03:44

Vestigially · 09/03/2025 01:47

I can honestly say I don’t know any men who go out without their keys, expect someone to wait up for, or leave the front door unlocked for them till midnight, and then refuse to get up with their children in the morning. I think you picked out a dud.

In my experience the opposite is true!

Many men like to move around completely unhampered by anything and it’s women who walk about piled up with kids backpacks and bags of shopping, while their dhs swans about with nothing but a backward glance!

When I used to work in an office, it was obvious when it came to the end of the day how the blokes used to tidy their desks briefly, put their coats on, and were gone. Whereas the women, collected the food shopping they had done at lunch time from the fridge, or they were burdened with the clothes or a birthday present they had bought for their dc, or a friend of their dc, or they had their toddlers’ nappy bag with them en route to pick them up.

Men seem to very easily drop in and out of family life at will, whereas women never seem to be able to be completely free of it!

dapsnotplimsolls · 09/03/2025 03:43

Ahhh, another Saturday night, another entitled arsehole.

ArmyBarbie · 09/03/2025 03:38

Because he's a twat.

Hettycan · 09/03/2025 03:30

Halloumiheaven · 09/03/2025 01:05

Usually been bought up by pandying mothers...

Maybe you are right -but isn't the assumption just another form of ingrained misogyny?

Find a women to blame for a man's failings!

It's so rooted in our societal views, we, as women, don't ever recognise it anymore.

LegoAirlines · 09/03/2025 03:11

He's actually not that bad.

If you think this is ‘not that bad’, your standards are too low. That’s abysmal behaviour.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 09/03/2025 03:10

I don't know if it's a man thing specifically but my oldest male friend refuses to take out his phone, whether on holiday, nights or days out.
It's super annoying for everyone and he has come unstuck on many occasions like kicking off after a drunken fight with his bf, storming off and then realising his bf has the keys 😆.

pikkumyy77 · 09/03/2025 03:09

Awful. Absolute contempt for you and the kids.

mrssunshinexxx · 09/03/2025 03:07

You can lock up at the time he says he'll be home but he'll still come home pissed like you said and wake the whole house plus neighbours so still lose lose for you.

mrssunshinexxx · 09/03/2025 03:05

He sounds a fucking idiot
Hide his keys outside under plant pot or something and lock yourselves in, job done.

Dillydollydingdong · 09/03/2025 03:02

What a thoughtless, selfish man. Tell him he won't be allowed to go out another time if this is going to happen. Seriously though, get that keysafe.

mjf981 · 09/03/2025 02:59

Even when he said he'd be back at 12, I'd reply 'well I'll be in bed by then so you won't be able to get in you fool...'

If he then thinks its ok to wake you up rather than just take the keys like a normal person, then he's bloody weird. Go to bed, put a pair of ear plugs in, let him kick off when he can't get it in. Maybe he'll learn his lesson.

chocmalt · 09/03/2025 02:55

He refuses to either take his keys like a responsible adult or return home well before my bedtime? I wouldn't accept this level of selfishness. I'd also find it extremely pathetic unattractive that someone couldn't trust themselves not to get so shit-faced that keeping track of a key would be a problem!

Original poster
TakingBackSunday · 09/03/2025 02:26

I got a notification that an Ubers been booked so he's on his way back then I can get some sleep before little one wakes up.

Key safe might be a good idea but you're right next time he takes keys or I'm locking up at the time he'd say he'd be home 😴

OP posts:
TeaNtoast25 · 09/03/2025 02:22

Hi, if you’re still awake and he’s not back yet, can u not lock the door and leave the key in the letterbox?

Juiceinacup · 09/03/2025 02:16

To answer your actual question I don’t know any men who would go out without their keys, in general I find it’s a bloke thing that they always have a big bunch of keys that they insist on carting around. I also don’t know anyone who would leave their door unlocked in the evening up til midnight, so does he expect to ring the doorbell or phone you from outside for you to go and let him in like his mum did when he was a kid. If he thinks he’ll lose a key put it on a string round his neck. Too late for this time but in future I’d be making it very clear that he took his key and was quiet when he came in or he would find himself locked out if he wasn’t home by the agreed time, I would expect to abide by this agreement myself as well fairs fair.

ValentinesGranny · 09/03/2025 02:01

Get a keysafe.

Original poster
TakingBackSunday · 09/03/2025 02:01

BlondiePortz · 09/03/2025 01:58

Why doesn't he have keys in the first place?

This whole thing sounds weird

I've literally explained in the thread, I offered them him and he said no, he'd be back at 12 so doesn't need them - I'm guessing cos he didn't want to lose them.

I don't even know myself tbh, I did question it but he'd be back at 12 so it's fine 🙄

OP posts:
BlondiePortz · 09/03/2025 01:58

Why doesn't he have keys in the first place?

This whole thing sounds weird

Original poster
TakingBackSunday · 09/03/2025 01:55

He's actually not that bad.

I'm just pissed off and tired, he won't get up with the kids cos he'll be hung over, tired whatever and if he does get up with them he'll just be miserable and probably fall asleep watching them so it's better I get up but it's just really frustrating and it could have been solved if he either took the keys when I gave them to him or come home at 12 like agreed.

OP posts:
Vestigially · 09/03/2025 01:47

I can honestly say I don’t know any men who go out without their keys, expect someone to wait up for, or leave the front door unlocked for them till midnight, and then refuse to get up with their children in the morning. I think you picked out a dud.

MagnusCanis · 09/03/2025 01:45

The only reason I can think of for not taking keys is, he's worried about losing them... but good grief, it really isn't difficult not to. I never (deliberately) leave the house without mine.

crumblingschools · 09/03/2025 01:44

If he can’t be bothered to take a key, I would lock him out and go to bed