Why are (some specifically mine) men like this?

This was 9 days ago, I think OPs dealt with it, as per her updates!

Disconnect the doorbell.

Get a key box fitted tomorrow. Enough of this stupid behaviour

Why are you tolerating this? Why do you open the door?

My DP is weird about keys. He will often refuse to take them then ring the bell. Drives me batshit. It’s like he wants to be welcomed home by a compliant welcoming wife. Which he knows isn’t me. Particularly when I feel like a fucking door slave!

we have a hidden key safe incase we forget our keys, get one so the idiot can let himself in without waking the house

He effectively set himself a curfew of 12:00 so you should have just locked the door if he wasn’t back by then and sent him
a text telling him that.

Well I can tell you right now that if you tried to tell me what keys I was or was not allowed to take out with me, you’d get very very short shrift from me. I agree he should separate them out. But “not allowed”? That’s a hard no from me.

I’m really pleased to hear it. 😊

38 years next month , do I not qualify then? I’ll come back and comment on your posts in two years?

You’re not the only happily married couple around!

😆

Ffs! I wasn’t treating him like anything it was tongue in cheek as many of our conversations are! When you still have a happy relationship with full trust where you laugh everyday and you are still together after 40 years well then you can make snide comments. At least we are not beating each other ignoring each other and calling each other c**ts every weekend 🙄

I cannot imagine a grown adult being treated like this, it’s so infantilising him.

Shit happens, if his phone got nicked, would you ban that going out with him as well?

Yeah probably. More of a moan than a telling off tbf but he is a brilliant husband and I love him to bits. I don’t really care what people think of a two minute conversation we had over keys. Providing he has a nice life ( which he does ) and loves and cares for me as much as I do him ( which he also does ) then we are both happy with our lot 😊

That sounds like the kind of telling off you'd give a young child who doesn't look after their school jumper, not a grown adult who is your equal 😬

Yeah I’m a real scary dragon of a wife that has kept him prisoner for 40 years. He isn’t allowed to do anything. Well except go on a rugby tour this weekend with all his mates. He’s not taking keys then either 😂

I mean he has ( a very strong ) mind of his own but yeah i literally said don’t take those bloody keys! You can’t be trusted to look after them! And he just said sod off or something like it. It wasn’t an argument or even a disagreement I know he didn’t deliberately lose them but tbh it’s as easy for him to use the key safe as take them with him. At least they won’t get pinched again then

You don’t let him??

You don’t allow a grown adult to take their own house keys out @Sometimesright ? I mean take the other stuff off there then, but you don’t let him?

Last time my husband took keys he had his coat ( keys in pocket) lifted. I don’t let him take them now it cost £30 for a new door key the keys to the post box, safe and car were also on there 🙄

Get a key safe, then next time you can go to bed when you like

No, I don't know any men who refuse to carry keys with them.

The fact that you are passing it off as somehow normal - annoying, but normal - seems bizarre to me.

Sorry Op you both infantalise him and let him treat you like a doormat. Like many spoilt boys treat their mothers. Please be a grown up and insist he acts like one. It’s just not ok. And I have a Yale number lock no more keys. Excellent. It also means any time there is an emergency you can tell someone else the number and they can get in. Please don’t tell us he wouldn’t be able to remember a four digit number.

🤣🤣 You're funny.

This is a DH issue, I don’t know any adult that would do this.

I wouldn’t mind the earlier drop off, yes the traffic was annoying, but not that big of a deal up or on to him to tell you about a football match. Likely it would have been difficult and/or expensive to get a taxi in this scenario as well.

I would’ve insisted he take his keys though and agree with you, would be locking up for the night as well. No tolerance though for him waking up the house if he’d done this even once before. He should at least be keeping in contact you with you on his mobile if you’ve agreed to let him in late, not ringing bells or knocking to wake up your DC.

Even my DC (under 18) are more responsible and considerate than to do this.

I would also consider him to have an alcohol problem if he’s leaving his keys because he knows he’s going to get in such a state.

I have no interest in a back and forth or in insulting you, but I will call out an untruth when I see it.

"Oh bore off with all the feminist "gotchas"

I'm allowed an opinion that doesn't follow the entrenched 2025 'groupthink'.

In my experience, pandying mothers can contribute to lazy entitled men.

But you do you. Go save the world."

That was you, unquestionably being aggressive and nasty in response to a question. So your statement that you were never aggressive is proven false. You can report this if you like, but just know you will only be doing it because you can't take constructive criticism, since I have been perfectly polite.