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AIBU?

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Original poster

Who was right here?

132 replies

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 21:44

I went to a child’s party today. The birthday boy turned five. One guest was his seven year old cousin.

Birthday boy was given a gift from another guest and opened it. Ten minutes or so later his cousin began opening it and said he wanted to play with it. The birthday boy objected and the cousin was told not to play with it until bb had opened it and played with it, and was told to give it to bb.

Which is unreasonable?

YABU - birthday boy should get to play with it first and it was right to stop the cousin
YANBU - the cousin was doing no harm and bb wasn’t playing with it

OP posts:
Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:12

CautiousLurker01 · 08/03/2025 23:10

Yes, agreed, and even at 55 I’d be seriously pissed off if someone opened a perfume gift to me and used it/smelled it before me. The lack of understanding of manners, boundaries and respect for others here is astounding!

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I think this is a bit dramatic. It’s a kid trying to play with a toy.

OP posts:
Bestfootforward11 · 08/03/2025 23:12

Gift is for the birthday boy. Cousin needs to wait and be reminded that on his birthday he gets presents

CautiousLurker01 · 08/03/2025 23:10

Stripeyanddotty · 08/03/2025 21:59

If I got a new book or perfume I honestly wouldn’t care if a cousin read the blurb or had a smell.

You aren’t 5.

Yes, agreed, and even at 55 I’d be seriously pissed off if someone opened a perfume gift to me and used it/smelled it before me. The lack of understanding of manners, boundaries and respect for others here is astounding!

Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:07

hoarahloux · 08/03/2025 23:04

A 7 year old should be able to wait to play with his 5 year old's cousin's birthday presents.

You've presented this in a way that suggests you're supporting the 7 year old being allowed to open and play with his 5 year old cousin's new toys.

There are toys to play with already available. Opening a birthday present should be for the birthday child. The toy belongs to the newly 5 year old. Let the 7 year old play with all the other toys - even if the 5 year old hasn't touched the gift yet, it's his, and should be set aside for him to play with when he wants to.

I just felt a bit sorry for him. Clearly the grandparents were right though.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:04

Ilikeadrink14 · 08/03/2025 23:01

It’s not even your child! You need to get a life!

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It’s such a big deal though.

OP posts:
hoarahloux · 08/03/2025 23:04

A 7 year old should be able to wait to play with his 5 year old's cousin's birthday presents.

You've presented this in a way that suggests you're supporting the 7 year old being allowed to open and play with his 5 year old cousin's new toys.

There are toys to play with already available. Opening a birthday present should be for the birthday child. The toy belongs to the newly 5 year old. Let the 7 year old play with all the other toys - even if the 5 year old hasn't touched the gift yet, it's his, and should be set aside for him to play with when he wants to.

Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:03

Rhaidimiddim · 08/03/2025 22:58

Cousin needed to learn that this is Not On.
Edited to add: I' m begining to suspect you are the pushy cousin's mum

Edited
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Fuck me. I’ve already explained the relationships.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:02

Rhaidimiddim · 08/03/2025 22:56

Yes, you are clearly wrong. Brand- new pressie, 5-y-o is right not to want someone else getting to it first. Cousin sounds like a spoiled brat, but at least the grandparents are on the ball

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That’s very much what they say about him and he left the party being dragged out after going into a huff about something else and trying to lock himself in a bedroom.

OP posts:
Ilikeadrink14 · 08/03/2025 23:01

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 22:30

It’s a huge issue. I’ve thought of nothing else since. I think that’s normal.

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It’s not even your child! You need to get a life!

Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:00

Growlybear83 · 08/03/2025 22:46

I'm a bit shocked that anyone would think that it's ok for any child to use or play with a present that had just been given to another child. I think it was a bit foolish of the parents to let the birthday boy open his presents at the party. When my daughter was young we always put the presents in a big bag and then she opened them when we got home.

There was only one present.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 22:59

Onlycoffee · 08/03/2025 22:39

Why is it a huge issue? It's neither huge or an issue, and you've thought of nothing else?

Is this a bot post or have I missed something?

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You’ve missed something.

OP posts:
Rhaidimiddim · 08/03/2025 22:58

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 22:34

Sorry, my fault. Birthday boy opened it ie. unwrapped the wrapping paper. Cousin then tried to open it as in taking it out of the box,

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Cousin needed to learn that this is Not On.
Edited to add: I' m begining to suspect you are the pushy cousin's mum

Rhaidimiddim · 08/03/2025 22:56

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 22:05

I’m not related to the cousin at all. Im BB’s aunt and the cousin is his cousin on the other side.

My nephew is a well behaved little boy and rarely any trouble. I’m often told that his cousin is naughty and is quite badly behaved. My nephew opened his gift today and his cousin started looking at it when nephew was doing something else. Nephew objected and their grandparent told his cousin to let nephew have it and it was his day etc. Cousin left the room upset and the grandparents said he had to learn.

I felt a bit sorry for the kid. He was just looking at and playing with the toy. I couldn’t see the harm. But clearly I’m wrong.

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Yes, you are clearly wrong. Brand- new pressie, 5-y-o is right not to want someone else getting to it first. Cousin sounds like a spoiled brat, but at least the grandparents are on the ball

LBFseBrom · 08/03/2025 22:54

Flutterbylittlebutterfly · 08/03/2025 21:46

It's rude to just open someone else's gift without checking it was OK first. Whoever told the cousin to leave it alone was correct.

I agree.

Growlybear83 · 08/03/2025 22:46

I'm a bit shocked that anyone would think that it's ok for any child to use or play with a present that had just been given to another child. I think it was a bit foolish of the parents to let the birthday boy open his presents at the party. When my daughter was young we always put the presents in a big bag and then she opened them when we got home.

MyLimeGuide · 08/03/2025 22:45

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 22:30

It’s a huge issue. I’ve thought of nothing else since. I think that’s normal.

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I'm not sure it's a big deal - unless I've missed something here? Hope you forget about it tomorrow 🙏

GiddyCrab · 08/03/2025 22:43

My boy received a quite expensive toy truck for his birthday from his Nan. He had wanted it for ages and was looking forward to playing with it
Party guest took the box upstairs, played roughly with it and snapped off the doors and a couple of other bits.These couldn't be mended.
Son was bitterly disappointed at his ruined toy and never played with it. Nan was furious because she had wasted her money.
So yes Cousin should not be touching other people's gifts.

Bloom15 · 08/03/2025 22:43

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 08/03/2025 21:54

He's a five year old child on his birthday. Of COURSE he is allowed to say that he'd like to be the first to play with his new gift. Wow, entitlement much on behalf of whoever thought the seven year old should be allowed to overrule the birthday boy.

Yep!

Other child was behaving like a little shit. Parent should have stopped them.

REDB99 · 08/03/2025 22:41

I think it’s pretty clear OP that cousin was in the wrong and good on the grandparents for telling him not to play with it. A brand new boxed gift should clearly be played with by the BB first and cousin should not have felt entitled to open it.

Onlycoffee · 08/03/2025 22:39

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 22:30

It’s a huge issue. I’ve thought of nothing else since. I think that’s normal.

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Why is it a huge issue? It's neither huge or an issue, and you've thought of nothing else?

Is this a bot post or have I missed something?

Devianinc · 08/03/2025 22:38

Flutterbylittlebutterfly · 08/03/2025 21:46

It's rude to just open someone else's gift without checking it was OK first. Whoever told the cousin to leave it alone was correct.

Specifically at 7, he’s old old enough to know better.

Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 22:34

Liliol · 08/03/2025 22:31

Not sure I get the order. The birthday boy opened it, then the cousin opened it (wasn't it already open?) and should have waited for the birthday boy (hadn't he?)?

Sorry, my fault. Birthday boy opened it ie. unwrapped the wrapping paper. Cousin then tried to open it as in taking it out of the box,

OP posts:
Liliol · 08/03/2025 22:31

Not sure I get the order. The birthday boy opened it, then the cousin opened it (wasn't it already open?) and should have waited for the birthday boy (hadn't he?)?

Trumptonagain · 08/03/2025 22:30

The presents were purchased for the BB, I'd have been pretty annoyed had I of bought a present for a DC whos birthday it was only for another DC to remove it from it's packaging and start to play with it first.

The BB's cousin isn't always going to be 7 years old and needs to learn that they can't always have things their own way, the GP's were correct, IMO.

Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 22:30

MyLimeGuide · 08/03/2025 22:26

I think you have too much time on your hands to be worrying about this. But I think of course a kids bday presents should be left the hell alone.

It’s a huge issue. I’ve thought of nothing else since. I think that’s normal.

OP posts:
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