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AIBU?

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Original poster

Who was right here?

132 replies

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 21:44

I went to a child’s party today. The birthday boy turned five. One guest was his seven year old cousin.

Birthday boy was given a gift from another guest and opened it. Ten minutes or so later his cousin began opening it and said he wanted to play with it. The birthday boy objected and the cousin was told not to play with it until bb had opened it and played with it, and was told to give it to bb.

Which is unreasonable?

YABU - birthday boy should get to play with it first and it was right to stop the cousin
YANBU - the cousin was doing no harm and bb wasn’t playing with it

OP posts:
Gymnopedie · 08/03/2025 23:49

I think this is a bit dramatic. It’s a kid trying to play with a toy.

A toy that is not his, that has only just been given to its intended recipient, and that is still in its box.

Which bit of this are you not getting OP, and why are you so keen to defend the 7yo?

Even if he wasn't being malicious or bratty the GPs were right to tell him no.

stayathomer · 08/03/2025 23:32

Whichever is right my god there’s a lot of people getting way too angry at a seven year old!!!!

Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:28

Ilikeadrink14 · 08/03/2025 23:27

No, it isn’t!! What the heck is up with you? I wonder how you cope if you break a nail!
If you consider this a big deal, I fear for your sanity as you go through life!

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I’d probably do a week’s bed rest for a nail breakage.

OP posts:
Ilikeadrink14 · 08/03/2025 23:27

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:04

It’s such a big deal though.

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No, it isn’t!! What the heck is up with you? I wonder how you cope if you break a nail!
If you consider this a big deal, I fear for your sanity as you go through life!

Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:26

GuiltyPleasure · 08/03/2025 23:24

If the context is exactly as the OP has said it, then of course the cousin shouldn't have opened and played with the brand new birthday toy, without being invited to do so. I don't think anyone should feel sorry for a child that has no basic manners.
...Waiting for a massive drip feed from the OP

What drip feed are you looking for?

OP posts:
GuiltyPleasure · 08/03/2025 23:24

If the context is exactly as the OP has said it, then of course the cousin shouldn't have opened and played with the brand new birthday toy, without being invited to do so. I don't think anyone should feel sorry for a child that has no basic manners.
...Waiting for a massive drip feed from the OP

McGregor33 · 08/03/2025 23:23

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:12

I think this is a bit dramatic. It’s a kid trying to play with a toy.

Show quote history

To be honest, I’d feel sorry for them too. My oldest daughter always shared stuff and used to ask her cousins etc to open the boxes etc with her.

My middle daughter and her cousins were the complete opposite and refused anyone to touch birthday stuff. It used to annoy my daughter but she did eventually realise that not everyone wants others to open their gifts.

Some kids are ok with it and others not, which I wouldn’t say is wrong on either end.

Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:23

mrsm43s · 08/03/2025 23:22

Cousin was in the wrong (well their parents were, who should have firmly removed them away from the presents and explained they were Birthday Boys as soon as they went to play with them). Of course cousin doesn't get to unbox and play with Birthday Boys presents until he's played with them.

Very poor parenting from cousin's parents, and well done Gran for calling out cousins bad behaviour.

The parents weren’t there to be fair to them.

OP posts:
menopausalfart · 08/03/2025 23:23

As it was BB's present and he chose not to let his cousin play with it, then his wishes should be followed.

mrsm43s · 08/03/2025 23:22

Cousin was in the wrong (well their parents were, who should have firmly removed them away from the presents and explained they were Birthday Boys as soon as they went to play with them). Of course cousin doesn't get to unbox and play with Birthday Boys presents until he's played with them.

Very poor parenting from cousin's parents, and well done Gran for calling out cousins bad behaviour.

Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:22

hoarahloux · 08/03/2025 23:21

You keep adding to the story.

He was "dragged off" by his grandparents after trying to lock himself in a bathroom?

Were his parents present? How was this resolved? What are you actually trying to get out of this thread?

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Not bathroom. Bedroom. That had nothing to do with the initial post though. Parents weren’t there. No idea how it was resolved.

I didn’t know we had to get something out of a thread.

OP posts:
hoarahloux · 08/03/2025 23:21

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:07

I just felt a bit sorry for him. Clearly the grandparents were right though.

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You keep adding to the story.

He was "dragged off" by his grandparents after trying to lock himself in a bathroom?

Were his parents present? How was this resolved? What are you actually trying to get out of this thread?

Franjipanl8r · 08/03/2025 23:20

Our job isn’t not to upset kids. Our job is to make kids grow up into nice pleasant humans. Parents or grandparents who are scared to upset their kids end up raising little shits that can’t handle when someone tells them no. Grandparents were right.

CautiousLurker01 · 08/03/2025 23:20

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:12

I think this is a bit dramatic. It’s a kid trying to play with a toy.

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Nope, it’s basic manners. Which responsible adults have usually tried to teach a kid of 7.

Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:20

Nanny0gg · 08/03/2025 23:18

Was the 7 year old yours?

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No.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:19

Swapsnamebriefly · 08/03/2025 23:14

Cousin should not have been even handling the presents, let alone trying to play with them. Was there nothing else for him to do at this party? Has he been taught that as the eldest he gets priority over his younger cousins?

There was loads for him to do. I don’t think he was being malicious, I think he just got his eye on it.

I’m not really sure where it comes from. I only see him once a year or so at nephew’s party. I know he’s going through a very naughty phase though.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 08/03/2025 23:18

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 21:53

If I got a new book or perfume I honestly wouldn’t care if a cousin read the blurb or had a smell.

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Was the 7 year old yours?

Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:17

Pippinsdiary · 08/03/2025 23:16

If not you’re just weirdly invested. I wouldn’t have given this a second thought especially if my child wasn’t involved.

Well, good for you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:16

Pippinsdiary · 08/03/2025 23:15

ive read them, I just don’t believe you

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I’ve posted under different usernames numerous times about having no children if you want to ask Mumsnet to check.

OP posts:
Pippinsdiary · 08/03/2025 23:16

If not you’re just weirdly invested. I wouldn’t have given this a second thought especially if my child wasn’t involved.

Pippinsdiary · 08/03/2025 23:15

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:14

Counts slowly to ten

I’ve already explained the relationships. Just read the posts.

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ive read them, I just don’t believe you

Swapsnamebriefly · 08/03/2025 23:14

Cousin should not have been even handling the presents, let alone trying to play with them. Was there nothing else for him to do at this party? Has he been taught that as the eldest he gets priority over his younger cousins?

Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:14

Pippinsdiary · 08/03/2025 23:13

The cousin is quite obviously your child isn’t it? Or you wouldn’t care this much.

Counts slowly to ten

I’ve already explained the relationships. Just read the posts.

OP posts:
Pippinsdiary · 08/03/2025 23:13

The cousin is quite obviously your child isn’t it? Or you wouldn’t care this much.

funinthesun19 · 08/03/2025 23:13

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 22:34

Sorry, my fault. Birthday boy opened it ie. unwrapped the wrapping paper. Cousin then tried to open it as in taking it out of the box,

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It wasn’t his present to unbox. Part of the fun for the BB is taking his toys out of the box and looking at them for the first time.
I don’t feel sorry for the cousin being told to get off it.

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