Living alone is tough financially

Simple fact, if you have 2 incomes you can afford a better standard of living than if you have one.

Hear hear. This simple fact is why a family on one income is going to have it tougher than a single person on one income.

You mean CAN be tough, not IS. There are plenty of financial independent people who can easily finance their own lives.

I’m lucky enough to be able to buy a reasonably priced house with a spare bedroom and an office (or technically the space for those as I’ve had to get them renovated and insulated. I have friends round the corner - a couple and it does strike me now and then how much more spare cash they must have, in the same sized house and two incomes.

And then it comes to holidays and whenever I start to look at hotel prices for singles I wilt. It’s pretty much the same for a room (with breakfast included) whether there’s one of you or two. I can see why it’s often the case. Most hotel rooms are set up for two people and servicing a room with a double bed takes exactly the same time whether there were two people sleeping in it or one. I guess with a twin room, arguably there’s likely only one bed to change, but there’s still a bathroom to do.

I do find it painful though, because with only one income, I’ve a lot less spare cash than my married friends. I guess I could find a friend to go away with, ut sharing with your spouse or partner is very different from sharing with a friend.

The world is set up for couples and families with two children. My ex and I had three children, and that was a pain too, in the same way. The reality is, for many things in life, you are better served if you are in a common demographic. I mean, I know there are a lot of singles about, but it’s still more common to be in a couple, whether you live together or not.

Social housing is like unicorn poo though. Vanishingly rare, especially if you could afford private rent (which is more expensive and will eat into the possibility to save a deposit for a place of your own).

Many MNetters talk about having a household income of £100k plus, so let's say you've got a single person on £50k, £50k x 4 is £200k (not a mortgage size I'd be willing to have in mid life) but a 20% deposit on that is then £40k.

In many areas of the country, £240k will not go that far and in many single person households a £50k salary is a pipe-dream.

Simple fact, if you have 2 incomes you can afford a better standard of living than if you have one.

Look at the number of posts on here where women ignore poor treatment/abusive behaviour in marriages because they are worried they won't be able to afford to maintain their current standard of living.

In my area (NW) most of the new housing that is, fair enough, being built is 3+ bed typical family' houses. One and 2 bed apartments are available but their price is disproportionately high for their size.

The other thing is that when 1 or 2 bedroom places are built, they are generally all over much smaller. I have always lived in big houses with more bedrooms than I need because I want the big rooms & high ceilings. These tend to only be available in 3/4 + bedroom houses. And that's Victorian/historic houses as well as new builds.

I wish there were apartments or houses with 2 bedrooms & high ceilings, sitting room & dining room. Not just pokey dog boxes with a kitchen-diner-sitting room, 1 double bedroom & a box room, masquerading as a second bedroom.

Luckily, I can afford to live in a big house, but the short-sightedness of developers & planners still irritates me!

People who work can apply for social housing too. It is not limited to just the unemployed.
And an unemployed person under 35 would be expected to share.

Unless you're unemployed when you probably get provided with a one bed flat at the very least, paid for by the taxpayer.

Not sure why single workers are expected to share but single unemployed can be eligible for their own flat.

^ This, exactly.

In my area (NW) most of the new housing that is, fair enough, being built is 3+ bed typical family' houses. One and 2 bed apartments are available but their price is disproportionately high for their size.

I know a number of older folks who would love to downsize to a two-bed bungalow - opening up the market for larger homes for younger people - but there are none being built, so they're expensive.

Smarter policy making around stamp duty for youngsters is needed - special mortgage deals and council tax relief for younger buyers etc., plus we need good-quality 1-2 bed bungalows to free up houses.

Another point is mortgages.

Much more difficult to get a mortgage as a single person than as a couple (especially if self-employed, like myself).

In some areas of the country, it can make the deposit required for a 4x single salary mortgage prohibitively high (due to the cost of housing). This can mean that singles are trapped in the expensive and unstable private rental market for much longer.

Many mortgages don't allow you to take in a lodger and I have no idea where all these convenient friends and family are that you might buy jointly with (and be happy doing so).

Yes, it is tough. I have no one to share any costs with at all. I don't work and live off UC, so my income is very low anyway. I am in my mid 40s so house sharing can fuck off (and my MH Issues would mean it would never work anyway).
My DP is on not a great wage. His rent is half his take home pay. He can't get help either. He can't live with me as my UC would be stopped.

When I worked (in a NMW job), I was entitled to no help at all as I did not have kids.

My DB lives alone on a low income, and is entitled to no help. His rent has just gone up £100pm. We end up on suicide watch every year as he simply can not cope with it anymore.

All of my friends living alone do not have children.

Yep. Every one of my friends who lives alone is divorced or widowed and has adult children.

And rather than being sad lonely victims of unfortunate circumstances as some seem to think, all of them happy living alone. Even the ones with partners choose not to cohabit.

There definitely seems to be a lot of older women out there who find their own space preferable to living with anyone else, including a partner.

do you have any actual evidence to back this up? Or is it based on your experience of knowing maybe one person?

Official ONS stats have single person households ten times more common than households with 2 or more unrelated people in them (i.e. houseshares).
Households comprised of unrelated adults are comparatively rare (the second least common in the UK - and bear in mind this will include people for whom house-sharing is short term, like uni students, refugees, homeless people, young adults in care, etc.

A couple or lone parent living with non-dependent children is also significantly more common than unrelated adult households.

So actually, if you are single you are most likely to live either alone, second most likely (probably dependent on age) to live with your parents, and comparatively unlikely to live in a shared house.

A lot of single adult households will be older adults whose children have flown the nest and they are either widowed or divorced. It's highly unlikely someone in this age group will be able to live with parents or in shared housing

um, no, quite often people do chose to live alone, actually. Even if it wouldn't be the preferred option (e.g. they would prefer to be in a relationship but haven't found the right person), they are still exercising discretion over the other options available to them (living with parents, in shared housing etc.)

Equating being (often happily) single an "unfortunate circumstance" in the same vein as death and domestic violence is a bit of a reach, not to mention insulting.

again, 30 percent of households in the UK are single adult households
They can't all be victims of unfortunate circumstances

It's bizarre, isn't it?

"You're so lucky, you don't have to share!" As if they resent sharing with loved ones. Rather than realising they are lucky to have these loved ones.

It's also odd, as @daliesque points out, that single people are "dismissed as second-class citizens", and can be shut out socially, yet somehow at the same time envied as free and living in luxury. If they think that we should all be living in bedsits and lose coupled up friends, they could at least have the decency to feel sorry for us!

The closest I ever came to being part of a family was amazing. It wouldn't have necessarily been plain sailing (involved would-be step-kids) but being part of a family, looking after them and being looked after in return, was the loveliest, happiest thing.

I always think that the marrieds who say living alone is a "luxury" must really, really hate their spouse.

Incredibly tough.
I'm a single parent, working full time.
Constantly worried about money.
I live very frugally to ensure I have (sadly very small) savings for those unexpected bills.
It can feel overwhelming, knowing that the buck stops with me, no one to fall back on
Following my marriage ending after many years together, I would never want to live with anyone again, but it's a tough road

I remember a MNetter on here arguing with me saying I must be loaded because she’d be loaded if she was single and had no kids. The fact that we were on totally different salary brackets made no difference whatsoever - she continued to insist that single people without kids are absolutely loaded and the only people in poverty are families.

I’ve only read the first page of this thread and you can see why this issue is never discussed or addressed. Parents immediately start arguing about our luxury accommodations vs their childcare costs and asking why we don’t move in with the milkman if it’s that bad.

Society is only interested in hardworking families. Anyone not falling in that group can sod off.

But a 1 bedroom place is not much less than a 2 bedroom place. The reality is if you are single, you are probably in a shared house.

@daliesque

It's also true that many people in couples (with or without kids) seem to think that being single is some kind of luxury - it's not.

I remember a friend being mind blown at me talking about my having to be very careful financially due to being single and living alone and how expensive it is because she wanted us to go away on a trip and I could not afford it. She said she just always imagined that single people with no kids must be rich.

I pointed out to her for the last 15+ years her household has been supported by 2 incomes when mine has been supported by 1….

I don’t see living alone as “luxury living”. It’s just a fact of my life.

The other adult could work though and the children I assume was something you wanted.

But they knew that when they had children surely?

The point is depending on what the SAHP was qualified to do there is another people to act as a back-up. If the primary earner is unable to work they can do the childcare and the other parent look for work.

Not an option for single people.

No it's not. It is true that single people with no kids (actually all single people kids or not) are screwed financially.

It's also true that many people in couples (with or without kids) seem to think that being single is some kind of luxury - it's not. I say that as someone who lived alone for many years following a divorce and who is now living in absolute luxury compared to that because I live with my husband and we have that second income. We also have the luxury of being able to physically and emotionally support each other, share the load in other areas and take each others company for granted if we can't be arsed to go out.

This thread has also shown that not only are single people screwed over financially they are also treated and dismissed as second class citizens - not worthy of a space of their own, expected to always pay but never receive.

This is on top,of the fact that many coupled up people don't want to be around their suddenly single friends so they end up socially isolated on top,of everything else. And it ain't easy building a new social circle when you can't afford to socialise and, besides, omce past 30 everyone is couple up and generally with kids.

How do we have it “second best?”