Living alone is tough financially

My post was supposed to be a quote, followed by my comment 🫣....

I have been married and reduced my hours to save on childcare. That felt quite secure as my h was working too.
then I was a single parent, topped up by benefits. Hard. A lot of pressure.
Then the worst situation of all - dc all moved out. And it’s v hard, relentless. I feel the pressure more and there’s no safety net.

A lot of the extra expense of living alone comes down to economies of scale. But, there are some aspects that are more policy driven. Lack of earning top ups is a big one. Council tax is another huge one. Single people pay 50% more than people in a couple. So that's 50% more tax, not bills or food or discretionary spending, that's money the state demands from you. Also, married couples pay less income tax. Fuck knows what the rationale is for that. Single people are more likely to live in smaller dwellings and unfortunately in the UK smaller dwelling inevitably means leasehold which as far as I can work out is a legal fiction designed to fleece householders - thankfully the current government says they'll do away with it; we shall see. All of these things are an extra whammy for single person households.

My sister is single with no children so doesn't get any universal credit top ups or child benefit etc and she lives hand to mouth every month on a £27k salary. It's really worrying, if she was to lose her job she'd be fucked.

I posted my life and people took exception to it. That’s how we got to 20yrs ago. HTH

Oh do fuck off with your ‘but think of the poor single parents’ bullshit. I’m a lone parent that gets zero support - financial or otherwise - from the other parent and the pure nastiness you’re spouting isn’t in my name. You haven’t got a clue, mate.

Prior to having my child I was a single woman living alone. Guess what, I’m a lot fucking better off now than I was when it was just me.

As a single parent renting I get support from
UC with my rent and childcare costs. I get child benefit. I got the cost of living payments when they were a thing. I get extra flexibility afforded to me in the workplace. When you’re a single person living alone you get none of that, unless maybe you’re on a very low income or just don’t work. Neither of which apply to my circumstances, pre or post being a mother. So, please @SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice do shut up.

OP, I completely agree with you. The people on here spouting off about how much of a luxury it is to have a home of your own are complete idiots. And have no clue. Or empathy.

As someone else said, it’s the single tax. Everything is designed for two. Discounts very rarely apply to single people. Holidays are a good example; any deal on Travelzoo, for instance, is always based on two sharing. It used to really piss me off.

Sadly, I don’t expect an improvement any time soon. Not with the current state of things anyway. I get you though, it’s tough out there. You’re definitely NBU.

Love by myself with my 2 children.
I totally get it OP. I struggle every month o get my head above water, and the moment I do.... something breaks or there's a school trip!
I struggle with finical anxiety after being finically abused in the past by my ex.... something breaks whilst I do appreciate not having to consider anyone else, it really is TOUGH and I find it very overwhelming.

Why talk about 20 years ago? We are talking about now.
A SAHP has the choice to work as there are childcare schemes available.

Well I'd have problems squeezing my sofa, cooker, washing machine, fridge freezer, and 2 double beds. Plus me, the dog, and two cats into a single room house share, yes 😂. I've got the usual various amounts of stuff that pretty much everyone has...

Are you telling me you don't have anything in your house at all? Or are you just being obtuse for the sake of it?

“As it used to” rewind 20yrs and be an immigrant with NRPF. Everything you listed did not exist.

@SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice

There is no backstory other than I think it’s a bit too much whining. Yeah being single and not having a partner that makes more than you is a bit harder, but it is second best. It’s tone deaf considering the number of single parents and families with sole breadwinners who have it way worse.

Single parents on a low income/minimum wage, have their income topped up by universal credit. Wages are kept artificially low, because the government tops up those minimum wage salaries so that people can survive.

Single people, without children, who are on a low wage, don't get any top up. They have to survive with very little left after rent and bills.

It's not possible for everyone to have a partner. I live alone without a partner because of my mental illness. I've lived in shared houses but it wasn't fair on the housemates who had to put up with me and it was constant conflict.

I'm really lucky to have my own social housing flat now. But I've experienced being single, on a low income while privately renting a one bedroom flat....and it wasn't fair tough!!

Equally though, you'll never be expected to support a second person - that cuts both ways. I agree re rent/mortgage/bills - those can be crippling to pay as a singleton.

I’m not nasty. I voted YANBU to OP, but all the posters pretending that single people with no kids only having themselves to support are so badly off is making me rethink my vote.

What do you mean?
Childcare does not cost as much as it used to. If both (or single) parents income is <£100,000pa then the SAHP is entitled to free childcare funding hours from 9 months, for a 3 year old they can get 30 free hours per week so the SAHP could work then. If they are at school then the SAHP can work during school hours.

And microwaved rice. Everything can be frozen apparently!

Are we still saying OP should freeze fruit in a ziplock bag tho?

Yes you have so much stuff, must be so hard to find room for it all. 🎻

Wow your rude. A house share isn't always possible. It's not about it being beneath people it's about the realities of life for e.g. a person who has managed to escape an abusive relationship, possibly traumatised, possibly suffering ptsd, it wouldn't be appropriate for them to live with strangers.
If I become single in the future and when my kids move out I wouldn't be able to houseshare as I have bpd, it just wouldn't work. You seem to think your the only one with problems and have very little grasp of the real world

Ah ha ha ha
what makes you think I was irresponsible and chose to have children with just one income? I suppose we chose to be bombed out of house and home and to be refugees, and we chose to have children that were born with SEN so we could have just bashed their heads in with a rock instead of choosing one of us to take care of them and the other to work.

I am not saying I have it worst, I am disputing those saying single people who only have to pay for themselves have it worst. They barely have it hard. I have a very small violin for single people with no kids 🎻

And where exactly would I be storing all my furniture? Am I just throwing it all out then? 🙄

House shares are great for students, or people in their 20s, or those moving around for jobs. Less so for those who've already raised families and have basically a whole house full of stuff, and possibly pets.

You're not unreasonable, it certainly can be difficult. It's also difficult for many couples with children. I can remember being very hard up for a long time during that period.

Life is difficult for everyone but when you are on your own, you have to find all the money for everything yourself which is different to being a couple.

However it doesn't last, op, things will improve.

"But go ahead and cry your tears….poor you all your money has to go on just you. Only you." This is how you responded to another poster. You don't get it. You chose to have two children. Not everyone chooses to be single. Your income had to stretch because of your own choices. And yet you are so nasty about people recognising that single people face higher costs per adult.

Yes in theory, but if you marry a lazy workshy man, like my sister in law did, you find yourself working to support 2 children and the feckless husband. I've no idea why she put up with it.
I agree with you that in most cases it's a choice to have a SAHP.

That's a wholly different argument though.

People who earn more can afford more, sure.

Being single without dependents doesn't stop you earning well, indeed it's advantageous compared to those raising children.

But all things being equal, (ignoring the advanages that single people have that helps them earn more) a single person paying for one person expenses is worse off than a couple, no children pooling money, yes.

But better off than a single parent paying for 1, 2, 3, 4 or more children

And better off than a couple where only one person is able to work.

And better off than a couple where only one adult works and one adult provides childcare for 1, 2, 3, 4 or more children.

And better off than a couple where both adults work and they are supporting 1 or more children.

Probably also better off, if working, than retired people relying on state pension, disabled people on benefits, those without jobs....

So in the various family types, one person supporting one person is more fortunate than pretty much every family type apart from couples without children.

Yet on and on and on they whinge about how hard done by they are...