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Friend not doing an evening meal as “we had a big meal earlier”

343 replies

Bupo · 08/03/2025 21:30

So I’m staying with a friend who invited me to stay. She lives in a nice town that many tourists visit.

This evening I asked if there was any meal prep i could help with for dinner. And friend said something along the lines of “oh I assumed you wouldn’t want dinner as we had a massive meal earlier”.

She’s not wrong. We went to KFC as a few of the restaurants we tried were too busy. It’s literally been years since I last went. I had a burger and two chicken wings. The chips were raw so I only ate a couple.

It’s not the lightest meal but surely most would still expect to eat/feed a guest. She’s not weird with food and a normal not-big-not-small size.

I had about 4 tablespoons of leftover rice and curry for breakfast.

I’m about to go on a “walk” to coop

OP posts:
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Biglifedecisions · 09/03/2025 12:06

Rhinohides · 09/03/2025 11:54

HA! so I am clearly the only one on Mum‘s net, who when friends arrives cheerfully greets them with you know where the kitchen is, mine is a coffee and you know how I like it! 😂

So not wheeling out the drinks trolley in a pinny, with home crafted canapés flowing and concierge/dh falling over himself to unpack said friend’s luggage onto bergamot scented drawers? 😱😱 How utterly slovenly of you 😂😂😂

Adelstrop · 09/03/2025 12:00

Oops sorry, I have seen that a lot of other posters had the same idea!

Biglifedecisions · 09/03/2025 11:59

Mydogisamassivetwat · 09/03/2025 11:29

Yeah me and the other millions of Indians. All luck, innit!

Or a better constitution!

I have had food poisoning with rice (as a student) that required a doctor having to inject my buttocks to slow down the volume of fluid flowing out of orifice for 40 hours straight, and an IV.
I can’t say it was a pleasant experience - it was nearly as bad as the homemade wine experiment the month before…🍷

Rhinohides · 09/03/2025 11:54

HA! so I am clearly the only one on Mum‘s net, who when friends arrives cheerfully greets them with you know where the kitchen is, mine is a coffee and you know how I like it! 😂

Rhinohides · 09/03/2025 11:52

Aalasya · 09/03/2025 09:36

It's not normal to give your guests two meals though.

Well, as above- my house is their house, they’re welcome to help themselves and clearly the OP has.

CountFucula · 09/03/2025 11:49

Both the curry for breakfast and the KFC sound rank - like student food or deeply hungover food. What’s up with her???

Rhinohides · 09/03/2025 11:47

NaomhPadraigin · 09/03/2025 08:56

And would you treat your guests like this too?
Surely, you realise most people eat more than twice a day.

based on the original post it seems the OP is friends with a host and that they are peers. So yes, I would. My house would be her house for the duration of this day, she would be more than welcome to make herself at home and help herself. OP has already indicated her willingness to prepare a meal, so I am sure she is more than capable of preparing another one

Adelstrop · 09/03/2025 11:46

Just a thought - could she be on weight loss injections and so not hungry herself? Not really an excuse for starving you even if so.

TheShadowOfTheWizard · 09/03/2025 11:43

Mydogisamassivetwat · 09/03/2025 11:31

To be honest I’ve never had takeaway rice. Always got a sack full here, so I’m not paying £4 for a small takeaway portion when I can quickly cook some myself.

Wee house (hoose) rice 🤣 (Wonder if anyone will get this reference)

BlueBatsAndOranges · 09/03/2025 11:38

Mydogisamassivetwat · 09/03/2025 11:31

To be honest I’ve never had takeaway rice. Always got a sack full here, so I’m not paying £4 for a small takeaway portion when I can quickly cook some myself.

Have to admit, we’ve started doing that recently too. The takeaway prices are getting out of control and there’s 6 of us - not paying 25 quid for bloody plain rice. But I have reheated takeaway rice from both the Indian and Chinese before and never had a problem.

Mydogisamassivetwat · 09/03/2025 11:31

FanHeater · 09/03/2025 11:17

I am Asian and reheat rice that I have cooked myself and stored carefully at home. I would not reheat takeaway rice!

To be honest I’ve never had takeaway rice. Always got a sack full here, so I’m not paying £4 for a small takeaway portion when I can quickly cook some myself.

Mydogisamassivetwat · 09/03/2025 11:29

Biglifedecisions · 09/03/2025 11:14

Pure luck I’d say.

Yeah me and the other millions of Indians. All luck, innit!

LovelyLeitrim · 09/03/2025 11:27

FanHeater · 09/03/2025 11:17

I am Asian and reheat rice that I have cooked myself and stored carefully at home. I would not reheat takeaway rice!

Reheat it all the time, have done for years. 😋

CautiousLurker01 · 09/03/2025 11:21

Biglifedecisions · 09/03/2025 10:34

Irrelevant to the thread but why did you stop at 18m? I thought people had to be on a maintenance dose forever ( I might be wrong about that!)

Sorry for continued derail, OP:
@Biglifedecisions I titrated down at 18m because I reached target (6.25st lost). And no, you don’t have to remain on it, though many chose to do so if, once they return to the lower doses they begin to get food noises or find maintaining their weight is hard. My consultant, though, is happy to start me back on it if I begin to struggle (ie don’t have to get to BMI of 30 to restart) - most of the online providers won’t do this, so many people stay on it to keep the line of prescribing open.

BlueBatsAndOranges · 09/03/2025 11:19

Biglifedecisions · 09/03/2025 11:14

Pure luck I’d say.

I’ve always reheated rice too, even takeaway rice and never had a problem either.
Leftover Indian and Chinese for breakfast is the best <chef’s kiss>

FanHeater · 09/03/2025 11:19

Biglifedecisions · 09/03/2025 10:24

I want to ask op:

What did you bring with you?
Do you host your friend regularly and generously?
Has she got money problems?
Are you coming too often?
Are you expecting more than she can reasonably manage if she is working etc and can’t accommodate a five star catering service…

If you are a good friend, could you go out buy some ingredients and cook for her? And clear up? There is a responsibility also on the guest I feel, it is not a hotel.

A five start catering service? For asking your guest if they want something to eat in the evening after some fast food at 1330? The hosting bar is so low!

TheShadowOfTheWizard · 09/03/2025 11:18

Biglifedecisions · 09/03/2025 11:11

The issue with takeaway rice is that there is no way to know if the rice has already been reheated, when it was cooked in the first place and how it has been stored. Food poisoning from rice can kill, and rice especially has to be handled with care.

Edited

Yep, totally aware. The other two sections on that link are takeaway rice and freezing rice.

FanHeater · 09/03/2025 11:17

Mydogisamassivetwat · 09/03/2025 10:45

I’m Indian. We laugh in the face of that. 45 years later, I’m still here.

I am Asian and reheat rice that I have cooked myself and stored carefully at home. I would not reheat takeaway rice!

BlueBatsAndOranges · 09/03/2025 11:16

BrendaSmall · 09/03/2025 06:04

In all honesty I wouldn’t eat anything else if I had KFC, purely because of the calories

Living up to your name there 😆

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 09/03/2025 11:14

Darkrestlessness · 09/03/2025 09:31

If we go out for lunch it's unlikely dh and I will eat dinner - we just wouldn't be hungry. But if the adult dcs were around or guests we have something planned for dinner.

I agree. If DH and I eat out around lunchtime, we aren't too hungry for dinner. But, our DS lives at home so we make sure there is something here he can eat and DH will have salad and I'll have yogurt, a cheese stick and some raw veggies at some point in the evening.

Biglifedecisions · 09/03/2025 11:14

Mydogisamassivetwat · 09/03/2025 10:45

I’m Indian. We laugh in the face of that. 45 years later, I’m still here.

Pure luck I’d say.

FanHeater · 09/03/2025 11:12

I am from a culture where we tend to overfeed guests and we would have failed if we hadn’t provided a full table with food left over afterwards.

This kind of hosting just blows my mind. I don’t care how full you are after having had lunch. I don’t care what your normal eating pattern is. As a host you do not tell the guests how hungry they are or should be. You provide the food as a default and then it is up to the guest to say how little or how much they want to eat.

I despise some of the hosting I see in this country if I’m honest.

Biglifedecisions · 09/03/2025 11:11

TheShadowOfTheWizard · 09/03/2025 10:48

There's a specific bacteria which can cause fix poisoning. It comes from rice not being cooled correctly or quickly enough. We have reheated rice with no issues for 15 years. We do the 3 day rule (cook on Monday, eat by and including on Thursday). It's cooled quickly and put in the fridge (which I know is cooler than most domestic fridges). Also must be absolutely piping hot when eating.

This is the best way to make egg fried rice, cooling overnight and using the next day. Something about the starches I think. We've also frozen rice with no issue for 15 years. Things like pilau rice to go with curry made from scratch etc.

Here's a link on the actual real danger (instead of hyperbole which is common)

www.food.gov.uk/safety-hygiene/home-food-fact-checker

There's two more paragraphs about rice than quoted below.

"Rice
How long can you safely eat rice for after cooking?
Rice may be eaten cold if it is cooled down quickly. Put the rice in the fridge and consume within 24 hours.

You can get food poisoning from eating reheated rice. It's not the reheating that causes the problem, but the way the rice has been stored before it's reheated.

Keep rice in the fridge for no more than one day until reheating. When you reheat any rice always check the dish is steaming hot all the way through.

Uncooked rice can contain spores of a bacterium called Bacillus cereus. This bacteria can cause food poisoning. The spores of Bacillus cereus can survive being cooked. The longer cooked rice is left at room temperature, the more likely it is that the bacteria or toxins will make the rice unsafe to eat.

Can you reheat rice?
Yes, but you should never reheat rice more than once. And when you do reheat rice, make sure it is steaming hot all the way through.

If you have leftover rice you should chill it as quickly as possible, ideally within one hour. Dividing it into smaller portions can help with this. Also don't leave rice in the rice cooker, steamer or pan to cool down."

The issue with takeaway rice is that there is no way to know if the rice has already been reheated, when it was cooked in the first place and how it has been stored. Food poisoning from rice can kill, and rice especially has to be handled with care.

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 09/03/2025 10:51

Bupo · 08/03/2025 21:39

We’ve had a bottle of wine and it’s gone straight to my head. And it ordinarily wouldn’t touch the sides

If I was your friend I'd have had a cheese/charcuterie type board made up at least to graze on while you have your wine. Even if I'm just hosting an evening and we've all had dinner I'll always put something out to graze on.

HowAmITheCatsGranny · 09/03/2025 10:49

I personally don’t eat a full dinner if I have a big meal at lunchtime, but I do accept that that is a weird me thing, and I would certainly have offered food to my guest.