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Original poster

Friend not doing an evening meal as “we had a big meal earlier”

343 replies

Bupo · 08/03/2025 21:30

So I’m staying with a friend who invited me to stay. She lives in a nice town that many tourists visit.

This evening I asked if there was any meal prep i could help with for dinner. And friend said something along the lines of “oh I assumed you wouldn’t want dinner as we had a massive meal earlier”.

She’s not wrong. We went to KFC as a few of the restaurants we tried were too busy. It’s literally been years since I last went. I had a burger and two chicken wings. The chips were raw so I only ate a couple.

It’s not the lightest meal but surely most would still expect to eat/feed a guest. She’s not weird with food and a normal not-big-not-small size.

I had about 4 tablespoons of leftover rice and curry for breakfast.

I’m about to go on a “walk” to coop

OP posts:
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Waterlilysunset · 08/03/2025 22:00

Wtf 1:30 is lunch. I would definitely want someone more food that day

anon4net · 08/03/2025 21:59

Definitely poor form. Possible reasons behind it...

  1. She's resentful of guests b/c she lives in a tourist area etc. Doesn't want to entertain and be in the kitchen etc. Maybe has a slew of guests arriving in the coming months.
  2. She's got a thing in her head about spending/money - sometimes people will spend in one area and not another or of course she could have re-gifted something she received to you.
  3. Trying to lose weight

I'd get yourself a few bits & bobs to keep in your room and/or say that dinner is on you as a thank you for letting you stay and get the ingredients to make something!

JorgyPorgy · 08/03/2025 21:59

I’d be starving !!

Ohhhthedrama · 08/03/2025 21:59

If you're close enough to go stay with her, then you just speak up & say,' Well, I'm hungry. shall we order in or I'm going to the shops to get something?'.

TheChosenTwo · 08/03/2025 21:59

I wouldn’t want to eat a meal if I’d had a burger or something like that for lunch! Maybe something like a piece of toast if I was really hungry but generally not.
However if I had guests I’d have something in and asked them. I think as I get older I do need less food! If we go out for a pub/pizza lunch dh and don’t really fancy dinner but dc definitely do.
I’m not a competitive under eating tiny person!! I just generally have one cooked meal a day.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 08/03/2025 21:58

My MIL is like this, one 'proper' meal a day only. KFC or any fast food isn't a meal really though, very little real nutrition.

selldontsell · 08/03/2025 21:57

Your friend should really watch , With Love Megan 😂

PullTheBricksDown · 08/03/2025 21:57

She's gone weird about food. And it's poor hosting. The response when you asked about dinner should have been 'well, I'm still full but I'm happy to make something for you' it only takes minutes to make an omelette or scrambled eggs on toast.

Keep in mind for if you stay again and bring your own snacks.

Tbry24 · 08/03/2025 21:56

Weefox · 08/03/2025 21:53

Something weird going on here. I think we don't have the full story.

I was thinking the same. OP who’s paid for the meals so far?

RedCatBlueCatYellowCat · 08/03/2025 21:55

Have to admit, if I have a burger at lunch time, I probably only have a bit of toast later on.

Tbry24 · 08/03/2025 21:54

Get yourself something decent from the coop, and get something for breakfast tomorrow. How can she serve you left over curry for breakfast? Everyone has breakfast stuff in boxes of cereal, toast, eggs, fruit, yoghurt. It’s all easy food. If I didn’t even get offered teat and toast I’d be upset let alone no tea either.

Weefox · 08/03/2025 21:53

Something weird going on here. I think we don't have the full story.

Original poster
Bupo · 08/03/2025 21:53

dapsnotplimsolls · 08/03/2025 21:43

Is she a tight-arse?

No! She had bought me all this lovely bath stuff which was really lovely.

OP posts:
AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 08/03/2025 21:52

Neveranynamesleft · 08/03/2025 21:35

If you're hungry then go eat !

How? She's at someone else's house. Can't just go rummaging through the cupboards.

Anewdawnanewname · 08/03/2025 21:51

McDonald’s/KFC isn’t really a big meal, unless you order loads, but even then I don’t find them filling. I also couldn’t have Indian takeaway for breakfast. Walk to a shop and buy yourself some snacks and meals. Is there nothing at all in her house? Even for toast?

melonalone · 08/03/2025 21:51

I can’t standdddd stuff like this. She can’t police your eating! I would just ask her for her address and order a takeaway.

I went on a hen weekend a few years ago where food was rationed and I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over it!

Original poster
Bupo · 08/03/2025 21:51

It was funny cause friend had an equally small plate. Ie she didn’t think to give one person a proper serving whilst the other person had eggs or something.

The last time I visited it was maybe a little low effort ie a frozen Kiev for dinner (I don’t mind as I know friend isn’t exactly Martha Stewart and I’m here to see friend not be wined and dined) but portions/timings were totally fine.

OP posts:
FlatWhite78 · 08/03/2025 21:50

I hate people like this! Bad hosting + manners too, guests should always be offered food. My DM is exactly like your friend - she is genuinely appalled if we’ve been out for lunch earlier in the day and I dare to have something for dinner. An evening meal is my non negotiable!

ShodAndShadySenators · 08/03/2025 21:48

What is it with these people who just make assumptions eg "You had a big lunch so you won't want dinner"? Isn't it normal to ask if you're ready for dinner, what sort of thing would you like? That's really rubbish hosting.

Breakfast sounds poor as well - some people do like leftovers but surely toast or cereal or eggs would be normal stuff to offer?

Original poster
Bupo · 08/03/2025 21:46

Mellowautumnmists · 08/03/2025 21:39

I had about 4 tablespoons of leftover rice and curry for breakfast.

Is that what your friend offered you @Bupo?

Yes! It was funny because when we were clearing up after the Indian last night we both agreed there was plenty for breakfast. But then as we were chatting into the wee hours my friend got up and asked if I minded if she had seconds. I said of course not. Then as I was doing my make up my friend let me know she had heard I was up and put my breakfast in the oven as she thinks the microwave makes leftover Indian rank. And when I went to go get it I found a small plate with the tiniest portion 😂. It was fine I wasn’t overly hungry and after a coffee I was full.

Ive stayed before and the food servings were totally fine!

OP posts:
jellyfishperiwinkle · 08/03/2025 21:46

When I had friends staying I made them bacon and egg butties for breakfast, home made vegetable soup for lunch, and then we went out for dinner.

Vgbeat · 08/03/2025 21:44

I would want tea. We went ro a nice pub about 2pm today and I had a huge lunch so only had a sandwich for dinner but still had something.

jellyfishperiwinkle · 08/03/2025 21:44

Also if I went to KFC I would pick something like a few pieces of chicken for 400-500 calories, trying not fill up on empty calories and to save room for a decent dinner. She sounds lazy and thoughtless.

dapsnotplimsolls · 08/03/2025 21:43

Is she a tight-arse?

HorrorFan81 · 08/03/2025 21:43

Yeah thats really odd

We had friends over a few weeks ago and due to their arrival time we had a big late lunch at 2.30. We went to theatre and got back at 9.30 and we put a big cheese board out - most got eaten.

Can you help yourself to some toast/make a sandwich??