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Original poster

Friend not doing an evening meal as “we had a big meal earlier”

343 replies

Bupo · 08/03/2025 21:30

So I’m staying with a friend who invited me to stay. She lives in a nice town that many tourists visit.

This evening I asked if there was any meal prep i could help with for dinner. And friend said something along the lines of “oh I assumed you wouldn’t want dinner as we had a massive meal earlier”.

She’s not wrong. We went to KFC as a few of the restaurants we tried were too busy. It’s literally been years since I last went. I had a burger and two chicken wings. The chips were raw so I only ate a couple.

It’s not the lightest meal but surely most would still expect to eat/feed a guest. She’s not weird with food and a normal not-big-not-small size.

I had about 4 tablespoons of leftover rice and curry for breakfast.

I’m about to go on a “walk” to coop

OP posts:
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Bunny44 · 08/03/2025 22:18

Ugh my mum does this all the time - basically if we had a hot lunch of any kind she thinks that means no one wants dinner 🤦🏻‍♀️. I always eat 3 meals a day unless it was a large late afternoon lunch.

holycrumpet · 08/03/2025 22:17

If she doesn't want to eat that's fine.

I'd be ordering myself a pizza

Alaimo · 08/03/2025 22:17

I regularly stay at friends and vice versa. Quickly learned we all have very different eating habits. I am very much a standard 3 meals a day/person. The friend I stayed with last week loves breakfast but not before 11am. Another is doing some intermittent fasting thing and only eats between 3 and 9pm.

The thing is, I visit friends to spend time with them. I don't expect to be 'hosted'. But I also have no problem saying "I'll go and get some cereal and milk from the coop as I know I will be hungry at 8am, can i bring you anything?". It's really not a big deal.

Neveranynamesleft · 08/03/2025 22:17

@AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta

At the start, OP said they were going for a walk to the co op.

kitchenplans · 08/03/2025 22:17

DH and I had a Toby Carvery for lunch. This was our dinner....

Just about right, I reckon!

Friend not doing an evening meal as “we had a big meal earlier”
Crushed23 · 08/03/2025 22:16

I have a light/no dinner after a heavy lunch, but I wouldn't assume a guest would necessarily want the same, no.

Does she have food in the kitchen that you could eat?

sprigatito · 08/03/2025 22:15

I would politely ask if it was ok to make myself a sandwich, and if not I would order myself a pizza. Eating three meals a day is normal, orthorexia and skipping meals isn't, and I wouldn't be prepared to go along with it or be made to feel greedy for wanting regular meals. Life is too short and I am too old and crabby to put up with bullshit.

Dymaxion · 08/03/2025 22:14

To stay where my friend lives would cost me over £300 just for a room in a premier inn , so buying some food is a much cheaper option.

CalicoPusscat · 08/03/2025 22:14

Did you get to the shop in time?? Ours shuts at 10pm. All of 'em.

Pipsquiggle · 08/03/2025 22:13

Yep 1:30 KFC to no dinner at all isn't on. Could you have a slice of toast or something like that?

Poonu · 08/03/2025 22:13

I could say to any of my friends "I'm hungry". Or
Why don't you just go to co op, get snacks and say it's a treat because you're leaving tomorrow.

UrsulasHerbBag · 08/03/2025 22:13

Even if she didn’t want a big dinner you would be at least checking your whatever your guest wanted instead of assuming they were full.

Sleepington · 08/03/2025 22:12

Did you bring anything for her eg a small gift?

Does she ever visit you?

Im guessing as she lives in a tourist town, she is fed up with providing food for guests, and you’re getting the brunt of it.

I think, if I was you, I wouldn’t have asked if I could help prepare food. I’d have asked her if she wanted to go out, order in or stop off at M&S on the way back from your shopping trip, so you could buy something nice for a night in.

Dolambslikemintsauce · 08/03/2025 22:11

You may be too faint from lack of food to drive....

Dymaxion · 08/03/2025 22:10

I also do a quick run to the local supermarket and stock up on alcohol/essentials/snacks etc

Original poster
Bupo · 08/03/2025 22:09

Im leaving tomorrow afternoon.

OP posts:
tipsandtoes · 08/03/2025 22:08

How long are you staying OP?

If it's a long time might it be that she thinks you'll look after yourself a bit rather than her full on hosting?

thrifty24 · 08/03/2025 22:06

I'd be worried about those bowel movements and sniffy farts of all you have eaten is leftover curry for breakfast Confused and battered minced pounded meat

Dymaxion · 08/03/2025 22:05

I wonder if because she lives in a tourist place, she has got sick of hosting people, and having to fork out for the privilege ?
When I go and visit a friend in a tourist location, I make sure they aren't out of pocket hosting me, so they are fed and watered out of my pocket , which is cheap compared to how much it would cost to stay in that place.

SmokeyBlue · 08/03/2025 22:05

If I’d had Indian the night before and KFC for lunch I’d not serve dinner either. I would however offer sandwiches or soup, something light, not nothing at all.

boredwithfoodprob · 08/03/2025 22:04

I would class fast food like KFC/Macdonalds as not even a proper lunch let alone a MASSIVE meal. It's more of an unhealthy large snack. I haven't had KFC for years but more recently had a medium Big Mac meal for lunch and I was starving within a couple of hours. It's not substantial at all! Plus there's no salad/vegetables so definitely not balanced so therefore not filing. I'd be gutted if I was visiting my friend and she didn't arrange dinner as it's a social thing too.

Icanttakethisanymore · 08/03/2025 22:04

do you not feel you can say something? I think if it was a good mate I’d just say, ‘Really???? I’m starving, what have you got I can munch on?’

Ophy83 · 08/03/2025 22:02

I'd be desperate for some fresh fruit and veg after having takeaway last night, and again for breakfast and KFC for lunch!

Original poster
Bupo · 08/03/2025 22:01

Friend paid for Indian. I offered but she insisted as I was the guest. And then I paid for KFC. Friend said no she’s got it but I said “no, it’s my turn”.

OP posts:
JorgyPorgy · 08/03/2025 22:00

selldontsell · 08/03/2025 21:57

Your friend should really watch , With Love Megan 😂

💯 😅