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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend not doing an evening meal as “we had a big meal earlier”

343 replies

Bupo · 08/03/2025 21:30

So I’m staying with a friend who invited me to stay. She lives in a nice town that many tourists visit.

This evening I asked if there was any meal prep i could help with for dinner. And friend said something along the lines of “oh I assumed you wouldn’t want dinner as we had a massive meal earlier”.

She’s not wrong. We went to KFC as a few of the restaurants we tried were too busy. It’s literally been years since I last went. I had a burger and two chicken wings. The chips were raw so I only ate a couple.

It’s not the lightest meal but surely most would still expect to eat/feed a guest. She’s not weird with food and a normal not-big-not-small size.

I had about 4 tablespoons of leftover rice and curry for breakfast.

I’m about to go on a “walk” to coop

OP posts:
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2021x · 08/03/2025 23:30

I know I will get jumped on but after a curry and a KFC in 24 hours I wouldn’t be that hungry either.

Definitely grab some crumpets for breakfast and a coupe of tins of soup/tuna.

Rivari · 08/03/2025 23:28

This is so weird. Curry for breakfast? KFC seen as a big meal? Then no dinner?

I would be ravenous but I would also have said I needed to eat. It's such rude hosting!

POSTC123 · 08/03/2025 23:28

YANBU. But I have once or twice been discombobulated hosting. Just having such a good time I forget entirely that I am the host. That’s rare as I usually do host with quite a spread. So it is weird when it happens. And I then hastily order a takeaway!

whynotwhatknot · 08/03/2025 23:28

my fil is like this one an a bit meals a day is enoug for him so nothing change when he has visitors- i always say sorry im popping out for somethhing or ask for a sandwich-i get way too irritable if i ont eat regularly

rainbowunicorn · 08/03/2025 23:22

User1786 · 08/03/2025 22:57

I would probably have cereal or a sandwich for dinner if I had a big meal for lunch. I normally have a croissant or pastry for breakfast, maybe a sandwich for lunch and then a proper meal for dinner. If we eat a meal out at the weekend for lunch then a licht snack for dinner is surely enough otherwise you will be say over your daily calories so she probably just assumed you’d had enough too.

A KFC burger is a sandwich. A zinger burger has 420 calories and a Fillet burger 450. A chicken wing has a mouthful of meat. There's more calories in most supermarket sandwiches.

rainbowunicorn · 08/03/2025 23:16

TheChosenTwo · 08/03/2025 21:59

I wouldn’t want to eat a meal if I’d had a burger or something like that for lunch! Maybe something like a piece of toast if I was really hungry but generally not.
However if I had guests I’d have something in and asked them. I think as I get older I do need less food! If we go out for a pub/pizza lunch dh and don’t really fancy dinner but dc definitely do.
I’m not a competitive under eating tiny person!! I just generally have one cooked meal a day.

A burger is just a sandwich though. It being cooked dosen't change that. A big mac or KFC burger has about the same calories as a decent meal deal sandwich. If you have a sandwich at lunchtime do you also not eat a proper meal in the evening?

PorridgeEater · 08/03/2025 23:14

Offer to make some cheese on toast?

OneFineDay13 · 08/03/2025 23:01

She can't be bothered cooking for you

Laura36TTC · 08/03/2025 22:59

Ooooft! I would definitely expect and evening meal!

User1786 · 08/03/2025 22:57

I would probably have cereal or a sandwich for dinner if I had a big meal for lunch. I normally have a croissant or pastry for breakfast, maybe a sandwich for lunch and then a proper meal for dinner. If we eat a meal out at the weekend for lunch then a licht snack for dinner is surely enough otherwise you will be say over your daily calories so she probably just assumed you’d had enough too.

Daftypants · 08/03/2025 22:56

She invited you to stay so that seems poor to me 🤔
I would have breakfast available for you even if it was just fruit salad , yogurt, croissants etc .
And I’d have offered a soup and sandwich dinner at least or scrambled eggs / poached eggs 🥚 and avocado 🥑 on toast that sort of thing.
I sort of see where she’s coming from as if I had a lunch of fried chicken and chips , I wouldn’t need a proper dinner .
But that’s just me .
I am currently away from home and had a lunch of pasta 🍝 plus salad and a small ice cream .
So for dinner I just had onigiri 🍙 and fruit

Monty27 · 08/03/2025 22:55

Boke at KFC take your hosts out for dinner

12purplepencils · 08/03/2025 22:52

I bet she's on Mounjaro 😂
This is how post moinjaro me would feel! If eaten a meal at lunchtime not really bothered about dinner and don't fancy cooking for anyone else 😆

Donewiththisshit · 08/03/2025 22:51

Your friend is on Mounjaro and has forgotten others need to eat too

Mudkipper · 08/03/2025 22:47

I once stayed for five days with friends who didn’t eat in the evening, at all. I took to going for a walk into the nearest village and dining on crisps and whatever I could find there.

rosemarble · 08/03/2025 22:43

Indian take away for dinner.
Tiny indian take away for breakfast.
KFC for lunch.
Bottle of wine for dinner.

Golden!

HallStairsandLanding · 08/03/2025 22:34

Is there bread in the house? I'd hope I'd be be brave enough to say 'Friend, I'm feeling peckish now, I'm going to make some toast, do you want any?'

SonK · 08/03/2025 22:30

Brunchorlunch · 08/03/2025 22:28

I don’t eat dinner if I have a big lunch and KFC would be a big lunch for me. Having salad that I’d check with guests before not cooking and offer them something if they wanted.

when I’m a guest I always take my host out for a meal to thank them. Did you pay for the takeaway last night?

She mentioned in another comment that she paid for the KFC and offered to pay for the takeaway as well last night but the host insisted on paying for the takeaway

Brunchorlunch · 08/03/2025 22:28

I don’t eat dinner if I have a big lunch and KFC would be a big lunch for me. Having salad that I’d check with guests before not cooking and offer them something if they wanted.

when I’m a guest I always take my host out for a meal to thank them. Did you pay for the takeaway last night?

Echobelly · 08/03/2025 22:26

YANBU - I need to feel I have had breakfast, lunch and dinner, and at a reasonable hour. It drives me nuts when I'm out with people and who don't care if they eat lunch, or when they eat it and it's 2.30pm with no sign of anyone stopping for lunch and I'm on a massive sugar crash as I needed a meal an hour ago at latest. Even if we've had a large or late lunch I need to eat something that could pass for dinner, even if it's just tuna mayo on toast or something like that.

Earlier in our relationship it did tend to happen on holiday with DH, he could (and still can but not when I'm depending on it) eat 'lunch' any time between 1pm and 5pm and often dinner post 9pm but he did learn that I need lunch between about midday and 2, and dinner between 6.30-8.30 ideally!

BountifulPantry · 08/03/2025 22:25

Did she have a chicken that she cooked several days ago that you could also eat today and miraculously it would be a full meal??!

Davi8 · 08/03/2025 22:24

BlueBatsAndOranges · 08/03/2025 21:37

On what planet is KFC a ‘massive meal’?

Quite - esp without the chips!

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 08/03/2025 22:24

That's really bad hosting, I'd say something along the lines of I'm sorry but I need dinner and then head to a local shop!

Offleyhoo · 08/03/2025 22:23

Yes, it's like the people who have a normal lunch out then pat their stomach and say "Oh I won't need anything tonight now". Whaaat?

SnoozingFox · 08/03/2025 22:22

BlueBatsAndOranges · 08/03/2025 21:37

On what planet is KFC a ‘massive meal’?

You're new around here, aren't you? On planet MN, it's both a massive meal, and UPF so doubly horrendous.

I could see the argument if you'd had a huge Sunday roast type meal with two types of potatoes, loads of vegetables, yorkshires etc around 4pm - all you'd want later in the evening would be something light.

Exceptionally poor hosting to not have food for a guest - you say @Bupo that your friend isn't weird about food and portions, but that's not what her behaviour is saying.