Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

“D”H being rude and spiky because of international women’s day…

182 replies

ChampagneSuperNova00 · 08/03/2025 18:17

….he doesn’t think it’s fair that men don’t get a day and I didn’t agree, so I am getting the silent treatment with a helping of grumpiness, bitterness and spikiness and lots of huffing….what on earth is this about?

I wouldn’t mind but I didn’t even mention it in the first place, he brought it up. Its like living with a huffy teen.

OP posts:
AppleDumplingWithCustard · 08/03/2025 21:00

I had lunch with five women friends today. One of them came along with five bunches of daffodils, one for each of us. Her DH had been to the shops this morning, saw that it was IWD and bought each of us, her friends, a bunch of daffs. How lovely was that?

TheAlertCrow · 08/03/2025 20:56

Men want their own national day and they want women to organise it for them.

wastingtimeonhere · 08/03/2025 20:53

It's also International Akita Day, my God...he's behind a dog in the pecking order...😂

OfficerChurlish · 08/03/2025 20:49

….he doesn’t think it’s fair that men don’t get a day and I didn’t agree, so I am getting the silent treatment with a helping of grumpiness, bitterness and spikiness and lots of huffing….what on earth is this about?

Men do "get a day", as others have noted here. The fact that he complained that they don't without checking makes me think he might be a bit of a grievance monster.

And let's say men DID NOT have a day - is it not still OK to have a dedicated and special women's day in a society that is institutionally misogynist and geared and biased in every way - except for a few defensive feminist incursions - in favor of men? And also consider the history of the days - if women pushed for and made a case for women's day and men never bothered about a men's day, would that be unfair? In fact, women cared and made a case AND men cared and made a case, and so we have both days.

More important than any of these, though - his giving you the silent treatment because you disagreed with him is potentially abusive, especially if it is any kind of pattern and not a pure, situation-based "one-off". He wants to make it unpleasant and uncomfortable for you to hold and express an opinion different from his own. This is nonsense. He gets to have and express his opinion and you get to have an express yours. If he wants to say "hey - what you said makes me so angry or so confused that I need a little time to cool off; let's talk about this later/tomorrow/etc.", then I'd respect that and not push him to talk before he's ready. But just silent treatment with no explanation whenever you disagree? Hell, no.

Brefugee · 08/03/2025 20:46

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/03/2025 18:20

This. I think men want women to do the admin of IMD for them. They can organise their own and I encourage them to.

Show quote history

i was part of a feminist group that did a load of tweets every IWD about things affecting women etc.

And god the pushback, the moaning and the threats we got. So we pointed out about 19th November, and on that day we used to also tweet resources (in particular about men's mental health and prostrate cancer)

No pushback from women, just retweets etc.

The next year we contacted some of the moaners in advance of 19th November so they could organise their campaiging... imagine what happened?
They want women to organise it for them, etc etc

So now? i just ignore them and carry on doing what i do for IWD

BashfulClam · 08/03/2025 20:41

Yeah I remember a guy spiting this ‘when is international Men’s day eh?’ I replied monotone ‘it’s 19th November’ he looked it up and says ‘we’ll get isn’t it such a big deal, why is nothing done to celebrate it!’ I said ‘talk to the other men about that I don’t care what you do, women aren’t organising that for you as well!’

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 08/03/2025 20:39

ChampagneSuperNova00 · 08/03/2025 18:17

….he doesn’t think it’s fair that men don’t get a day and I didn’t agree, so I am getting the silent treatment with a helping of grumpiness, bitterness and spikiness and lots of huffing….what on earth is this about?

I wouldn’t mind but I didn’t even mention it in the first place, he brought it up. Its like living with a huffy teen.

Really!!!🙄

HH4432 · 08/03/2025 20:37

MayaPinion · 08/03/2025 20:23

They do. It’s 19th November. Tell him to organise a big party for all those international men out there!

Cancel the cheque...

TheWombatleague · 08/03/2025 20:35

Apart from International Men's Day and Father's Day there is: St Patrick's Day, St Andrew's Day, St George's Day and St David's Day. As well as Easter and Christmas and Guy Fawkes, All celebrating men.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 08/03/2025 20:33

Terrifying that men who hate women still find one to marry and have children with.

MayaPinion · 08/03/2025 20:23

They do. It’s 19th November. Tell him to organise a big party for all those international men out there!

BCBird · 08/03/2025 20:20

They have head start and special treatment most days

outdooryone · 08/03/2025 20:17

What a melt he is.

icelolly12 · 08/03/2025 20:16

Today I went to a mountain biking event for women. The first comment on social media was "when is the mens event" 🙄cue a load of likes from other men (who hate women) not having the awareness that every biking event ends up being male dominated and excluding women like me who wouldn't feel comfortable against a load of egos. Sigh.

SandrenaIsMyBloodType · 08/03/2025 20:12

Tell him there is an International Men's Day but men don't know about it because there aren't any women organising it for them.

LBFseBrom · 08/03/2025 20:10

Men never had to assert themselves, they were men, that was it, they knew their place in the world. Women have had to fight to achieve anything, slso often worked twice as hard. That is why there is a Women's Day and not a 'Men's Day.

ForestFox44 · 08/03/2025 20:10

APATEKPHILLIPEWATCH · 08/03/2025 18:20

What a loser.

Also men do get a day. November 19th.

Imagine being huffy because the class you oppress has a day of recognition

What a loser was my first thought too 🤣

Original poster
ChampagneSuperNova00 · 08/03/2025 20:07

It comes out when he feels wronged or hard done by….

Sometimes if he feels criticised or if he feels he is having to do jobs when no one else is, or if he’s tired and can’t be bothered doing something involving effort

It rears its head sporadically and we manage it by laughing at him and pointing out how ridiculous he is being or ignoring him and continuing with our own stuff. A few hours later, or a day later he is generally back to ok.

yes it is pretty pathetic tbh, like a petulant child and is sort of inexcusable for a grown adult professional man

Generally day to day he is fine and not like this…

OP posts:
Astrak · 08/03/2025 19:57

😆😆😆!!!

DubheYouCantBeSirius · 08/03/2025 19:56

How does this actually make you feel OP? My DH wouldn't give a rats ass about any of this let alone get irritated by it.

Is he accessing Andrew Tate style shizz?

I often wonder if these types ever realise that their mother was a woman and without her he wouldn't exist.

Qwee · 08/03/2025 19:55

StrawberryWater · 08/03/2025 18:55

I'd hate to be married to a moron.

I think my fanny would be dryer than the Sahara.

This.
Total ick. Couldn't be around it.

mamajong · 08/03/2025 19:52

They literally do, in November. He's obviously so enraged he's done no research. What a knob

ThePartingOfTheWays · 08/03/2025 19:49

ChampagneSuperNova00 · 08/03/2025 18:29

I didn’t know there was one. Not sure whether to tell him or let him find out for himself…

I don’t think he’s actually bothered about men’s day it’s just bitterness about the women’s one

They never are.

NetZeroZealot · 08/03/2025 19:47

I just asked DH what he thinks of International Women’s Day.
He said it’s a good thing and he wishes women were running the world right now.

MakkaPakkasCave · 08/03/2025 19:46

Let me guess…he’s an Andrew Tate fan.