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Original poster

Skinny Shaming?

93 replies

NoSourDough · 08/03/2025 15:49

In a shop today with DD (almost 13) when she told me the bag she was carrying was giving her a paper cut. Out of nowhere an older lady appeared and declared “well maybe if you ate some food your bag wouldn’t be so heavy!” and walked off in the queue with her husband.

At first me and DD were a bit shocked, it was a card shop and I was looking through the cards and as I did so was registering what she just said.

My daughter is tall yet small framed, a bit like me and my DH were when we were her age. If she was a bigger girl and that woman had fat shamed her it would have been completely unacceptable.

We queued up and she was about 3 in front of me and I decided I wanted to pull her up on it as my daughter is very size and weight sensitive and I knew this comment had stung.

Unfortunately she left the shop and after I couldn’t find her in the market square as I wanted to say to her that I felt that comment was unacceptable.

am I being unreasonable to feel this way or over sensitive here?

OP posts:
Original poster
NoSourDough · 08/03/2025 16:29

The reason why I wanted to speak to the woman is because I wanted to say that sometimes kids can be sensitive about their weight and maybe she should think before she speaks about such topics.

As like @alloutofcareunits DH, my DD also tries to eat healthy foods but she struggles to gain weight. She is so sensitive about it so the comment hasn’t gone down well. It was just so unnecessary.

It’s all well and good people saying just forget about it but the shop was busy and she said it loudly - there was just no need.

OP posts:
alloutofcareunits · 08/03/2025 16:25

@NoSourDough as a teen he played a lot of football and tennis, he particularly liked the trend of wearing sweatbands as they made his wrists look thicker, quite funny now but at the time he was really self conscious, probably like your DD. People seem to think it's just a case of "well eat more" but he eats plenty just has a healthy diet and doesn't want to eat fatty stuff or sugary food because it's really not good for you! The woman in the shop sounds bonkers as well as incredibly rude!

Coconutter24 · 08/03/2025 16:22

NoSourDough · 08/03/2025 16:18

Yes - bearing in mind the bags contained non-edible products 🤣🤣🤣

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The woman was clearly rude. Whether she meant to be or not it was rude. How can anyone possibly know how much or little someone is eating just because they’re slim? I used to be tiny as a kid but would eat like a horse

Original poster
NoSourDough · 08/03/2025 16:18

Coconutter24 · 08/03/2025 16:15

Who on earth suggests eating their shopping whilst out to lighten the load a bit? 🫤

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Yes - bearing in mind the bags contained non-edible products 🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 08/03/2025 16:15

ApolloandDaphne · 08/03/2025 16:01

Surely she meant that the bag was heavy and she could lighten it by eating some of the items in it. I don't think she was referring to your DDs body at all.

Who on earth suggests eating their shopping whilst out to lighten the load a bit? 🫤

Original poster
NoSourDough · 08/03/2025 16:13

alloutofcareunits · 08/03/2025 16:09

I agree many people feel it's absolutely okay to call people skinny etc, but 'fat shaming' brings people out in rage. My DH has always been very thin and sporty, at school he used to wear 2 pairs of socks to make his ankles look thicker. A while ago we had friends round, DH crossed his legs at an angle that make them look thinner and a friend pointed and said "god, look how thin (name) legs are!!!!" Both friends are obese, if one of us cried "look how fat (name) belly/legs are" we would quite rightly be slaughtered! But it's fine if they're skinny shaming. DH is really conscious of his thin legs, he wasn't particularly bothered by the comment but still not okay

Thank you!

My daughter is always being skinny shamed, it’s happened a lot. Even a doctor said “does she eat?” - and she eats a lot!

Some people on this thread talking like it’s nothing when it was my daughter who was more raged than I was today. It’s not acceptable to comment on anyone’s weight, regardless of if they are bigger or smaller, it’s simply not ok.

OP posts:
alloutofcareunits · 08/03/2025 16:09

I agree many people feel it's absolutely okay to call people skinny etc, but 'fat shaming' brings people out in rage. My DH has always been very thin and sporty, at school he used to wear 2 pairs of socks to make his ankles look thicker. A while ago we had friends round, DH crossed his legs at an angle that make them look thinner and a friend pointed and said "god, look how thin (name) legs are!!!!" Both friends are obese, if one of us cried "look how fat (name) belly/legs are" we would quite rightly be slaughtered! But it's fine if they're skinny shaming. DH is really conscious of his thin legs, he wasn't particularly bothered by the comment but still not okay

Original poster
NoSourDough · 08/03/2025 16:09

ApolloandDaphne · 08/03/2025 16:01

Surely she meant that the bag was heavy and she could lighten it by eating some of the items in it. I don't think she was referring to your DDs body at all.

she didn’t mean that - she looked at her waist, it was a rude comment. She meant her weight

OP posts:
MarioJumbo · 08/03/2025 16:03

YANBU at all

ApolloandDaphne · 08/03/2025 16:01

Surely she meant that the bag was heavy and she could lighten it by eating some of the items in it. I don't think she was referring to your DDs body at all.

soupyspoon · 08/03/2025 16:00

NoSourDough · 08/03/2025 15:56

Ah that will be having the child that is a preteen that is severely sensitive about her weight ato and spoke about it non stop on the way home from the shopping trip. Easier said than done actually!

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Well shut it down then, explain that people are bizarre and say and do things that dont make sense and this doesnt make sense. Paper cuts equated with weight, equated with the weight of a carrier bag, who can make sense of that? Be like Judge Judy, if something doesnt make sense, it isnt true, aka, theres nothing wrong with you

She will have perhaps instinctively understood you wanted to go and challenge the woman, but to what end, what would the woman have said?!! So play it down because its nothing.

Comedycook · 08/03/2025 15:57

NoSourDough · 08/03/2025 15:56

Ah that will be having the child that is a preteen that is severely sensitive about her weight ato and spoke about it non stop on the way home from the shopping trip. Easier said than done actually!

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In this case, I'd not make it into a big deal or show that you're annoyed...just laugh with her at the sheer absurdity of her comment

Original poster
NoSourDough · 08/03/2025 15:56

soupyspoon · 08/03/2025 15:53

I think this is an example of what another OP started a thread about

Why on earth is this rather bizarre, irrational and nonsensical comment even in your mind, why is it taking up head space?

People are weird, they say and do weird things that dont make sense. This is one of them. Get on with your day.

Ah that will be having the child that is a preteen that is severely sensitive about her weight ato and spoke about it non stop on the way home from the shopping trip. Easier said than done actually!

OP posts:
Original poster
NoSourDough · 08/03/2025 15:53

Comedycook · 08/03/2025 15:50

That's a horrible thing to say to anyone but particularly a child.

It doesn't even make sense!

Edited

I know…it was so weird.

OP posts:
soupyspoon · 08/03/2025 15:53

I think this is an example of what another OP started a thread about

Why on earth is this rather bizarre, irrational and nonsensical comment even in your mind, why is it taking up head space?

People are weird, they say and do weird things that dont make sense. This is one of them. Get on with your day.

Original poster
NoSourDough · 08/03/2025 15:52

Doggymummar · 08/03/2025 15:50

The moment has passed.

Yes it did - I could have pulled her up in the line but I didn’t want to do that to my daughter and cause further embarrassment

OP posts:
Comedycook · 08/03/2025 15:50

That's a horrible thing to say to anyone but particularly a child.

It doesn't even make sense!

Doggymummar · 08/03/2025 15:50

The moment has passed.

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