Skinny Shaming?

I’ve been fat and normal weight for my height - which believe it or not was 7 stone 9. Yes, 7 stone 9 is within the normal range for my height. Yet when I was this weight some people who I thought were friends called me ‘anorexic’ which was absolutely untrue. Others were very supportive of my weight loss. But losing weight definitely helps you identity who isn’t on your side in life iyswim

what a horrible thing to say. I don’t think anyone would think it is acceptable for someone to speak to someone this way. That woman sounds unhinged tbh.

Skinny shaming comments are absolutely not intended as a compliment. They almost always (in my experience) come from other women who are often not as slight as the person they aim them at and you know by the tone of voice, facial expressions and past comments history of that individual that they are 100% intended to shame and hurt you.

Just prepare yourself to say ‘how rude!’ Calmly to people who are rude.

No need to go into all the politics and sensitivities of a senseless comment. The main thing is, it was rude to comment.

No justification whatsoever. It isn't a compliment and should always be called out so people know it isn't a compliment.

I've had that said to me, it's horrible, in whose head is that ever a compliment?!

Well I think it's one of those things which can make an interesting thread, so thanks for posting it, OP @NoSourDough

But it isn't brought in in that way - it is almost aggressive in the way it is compared - almost like those fat people deserve it - if it had been compared in a more understanding sympathetic way - bit of solidarity- I don't think you would get such a row on these threads.

One anecdote does not change facts

I think it’s often envy

That's because being thin is seen as a positive thing and being overweight isn't. They therefore don't think what they've said to you is an insult...it's actually viewed by them as a compliment. They know that being overweight is seen by society as being negative therefore pointing it out is seen as mean.

After years of people saying “I need a bit more meat on my bones” yet no one asking my sister if she’d consider a diet - we can agree to differ

Then you are being ridiculous. Fat people get abuse all the time. You only need to spend 5 minutes on social media to know that many people not only dream of commenting on fat people’s weight, but actively abuse them. Shaming anyone for their weight is unacceptable whatever their size but to genuinely think that fat people don’t mountains of abuse is just ludicrous.

I thought you were going to be talking about Elish McColgan - the comments she gets about her frame are appalling and has recently been calling them out.

I’ve never been skinny but I find it so rude that people feel it’s ok to say that to anyone, far less a young girl. Dismissing it is also rubbish, you’re quite right to be upset @NoSourDough

No! Being a bit overweight is more common than being a bit underweight, and somehow people thinks this allows them to comment. I was always a bit skinny, my sister was always a bit chubby. She had a far easier time as a teenager!

I assume this bit “ being overweight is far more acceptable and people wouldn’t dream of commenting on it” is sarcasm?

Yep, it’s fine to insult thin people, but somehow being overweight is far more acceptable and people wouldn’t dream of commenting on it. Strange

i disagree. The point is that the majority of people understand and agree that it is never okay to fat shame someone. However a lot of people don’t see a problem with skinny shaming. It’s not okay to make negative comments about other people’s bodies like this. If people can recognise that’s the case in one situation, they should also recognise that’s the case in the opposite situation. Just don’t make negative comments about other people’s bodies full stop.

I have only ever been bullied and skinny shamed by fat people.

And IRL it's only fat people who deny skinny shaming in my experience. And it's aaaaalways a race to the bottom of how fat shaming is worse and everyone should gloss over skinny shaming. Or it DoEsNt ExIsT. I wonder why that is.

Except you do though. People are comparing the two because judging someone who's fat would absolutely be called out, as it rightly should.
Yet, because 'skinny privilege' (whatever TF that means!) is a thing, slim people are apparently fair game for negative comments. So it's 100% fair to compare the two. You disagree. That's fine.

I'm really trying to understand this.

My 15yo DD is extremely 'skinny'. It's just her natural build.
She eats like a sparrow, but gets a huge amount of interest in her body shape.

She gets frequent accusations of 'anorexia', or orthorexia.
She is neither - she just doesn't want to eat a huge amount?
Her DF is tall and lean, and they seem to eat little for fuel.

I'm very different - I'm fat, and need to be careful with what I eat.

DD just doesn't want to eat much. She's happy with very small amounts.

He should have said ‘look
how fat your belly looks mate! And then laughed.

But the fat comparisons aren't brought in by the op and others in a argument of solidarity- the language around fat people in this thread and all others like it are pretty unpleasant.

You have a problem with skinny shaming then that is the problem and you don't need to say anything about fat people to make your argument.

Aren't the comparisons between 'fat shaming' made because that is pretty widely considered an actual 'thing'? I don't think anyone is making an argument about who has it worse, just that the same criticism about bodies exists at the other end of the scale too and that it is wholly inaccurate to say that skinny shaming doesn't exist.