To hate the term “Passed away”?

I don't mind 'passed away'. I don't like 'passed'; it sounds too much like passing an exam. If it's someone who's recently been bereaved, I won't police their language, though. And if it's someone talking about a relative of mine who has died, it's more important that they don't get in-my-face and intrusive about it, than exactly what words they use.

There is also a cultural element to it. People who grew up in particular regions of UK, or from particular religious backgrounds, or from different nationalities, all have typical ways of expressing how someone has died.

Well I use the term passed away and have done so in recent comments on other threads. I find this term easier to say, why I am not sure, I just do.

My close family members who are no longer with us, did suffer towards the end of life and I know when talking about them they would want me to use the term that sits comfortable with me. If someone is not happy with that then unfortunately, I am not going to change my terminology because someone doesn't happen to like it or is offended by it.

I don't like this term either. Sounds rather twee. But what I dislike even more is the trend lately for saying someone has 'passed'. Makes it sound like they just taken an exam or their driving test!

I think passed is 'american'

There's a really unpleasant, gossipy tone to this thread.

Wanting to laugh at someone who is bereaved isn't great. Why do that?

Agree, I often say ... months since I lost my Dad.

People have to use what they are comfortable with. I once said in a message that it 'would have been his birthday today' and one friend said 'it will always be his birthday'. Seemed a bit pedantic and it really just illustrates a different approach/way of putting things.

Because it's softer to say "passed away" rather than died. Sometimes it's too difficult to say someone has died as it's just so painful.

Very unpleasant and inappropriate of you. In fact, I'm really not sure I actually believe that you would laugh at someone in this situation. Surely nobody is that lacking in empathy!!

I'm fine with it. Even from a non-spiritual perspective it works (sort of) as a description of passing from one state to another. We don't turn into nothing when we die, our atoms are still around.

This happened, and is still happening now, around Caroline Flack.

It’s bollocks. If someone was bereaved and chose to use a euphemism, I’d do the same and take their cue.

Don’t assume it’s not equally offensive to choose to use a euphemism if I have used the actual term ‘died’. It’s utterly ludicrous to think I’m being insensitive because I hate flowery language over death. That’s my call and should be respected equally.

Each person gets to describe death in their own way. some days I can say died and other days it just is too much and I say passed away. A good friend was killed in a car crash she died I have no problem with that, my mother slipped peacefully out of this world and that feels to me better saying passed away.

Stop judging other people on how they deal with process death, you are not superior becuase you prefer the word died.

It always makes me think of passed wind. I hate it. But if it softens the blow for some people...

My son died.

I say he died. I don't like passed away.

However my husband does use 'passed away'. That is comfortable for him.

Neither of us are wrong.

I disagree with it being a minefield though. Honestly, I've never been offended by anything anyone has said to me and nothing can make the situation worse than it already is.

I think people either use it as an excuse to avoid it altogether, or are more worried about their own feelings around getting it right or saying the perfect thing.

You're not the main character. So if you use language the grieving person would rather you didn't, it doesn't even touch the sides.

Battling cancer though, yeah don't do that.

I agree and it’s not something I have said. I’m not particularly bothered what other people say though.

I do dislike RIP, it seems a bit disrespectful. But I don’t use any sort of text speak. And I know RIP has been around a lot longer than text speak.

"Died" or "passed away" are both fine with me, though I would tend to say died. I can't get wound up over it.

'Passed away' is fine. On the other hand, 'passed' is cringeworthy and sounds all wrong.

Passed what - their driving test?

I do think expressing your condolences is a high stakes business. You really want to do it, your intentions are sincere but you don't always know what kind of reaction you are going to get because grieving people are a bit unpredictable and the smallest thing can cause offence. Often I think the reaction you get is more about how they feel about you rather than what you say. So you can't blame people for trying to play it safe.

You have summed up exactly why I would not judge someone for their choice of language at such a painful time, @NotTheDebtDoctorWithTheHungryScalpel.

Like I care

What an awful person you sound!

Having a hidden disability is no excuse to be so vile.

The first time someone hears a phrase like ‘lost my dad’, you may think that it means they can’t find them - I’m not sure why you think that’s funny at all anyway.
Someone going missing is very serious, especially if it’s out of character, they have additional needs or they have dementia.

But what’s worse is that you know that these people mean their loved one has died and you still think it’s funny.

What a nasty person you are.

Absolutely this. Just because some people are happy with "passed away" doesn't mean everyone is. I find if disturbing and rather negates the enormity and reality of death. I used to work as a journalist and was taught by my editor to never ever use the term "passed away". We were taught to write "has died". Much more straightforward and less controversial. Increasingly I read "passed away in news reports. I find it disturbing and dismissive of grief.