Dh’s card said I ‘Kept a perfect home’

No, but if someone works PT vs FT of course they do more to keep the house.

If people don't the profiling of jobs by sex, then don't play into it by working PT as a woman. A teacher Woking PT, isn't likely to get home at 3:30, are they?

I’ve got a real thing about OH’s forearms when his sleeves are rolled up doing dishes, funnily enough.

Seeing dh carrying a laundry basket upstairs or with his hand in the kitchen sink is a turn on for me, and many women I imagine!

You’re making a massive assumption here that the discrepancy in hours and income would make up for him doing nothing at all.

Even if that was the case (hours wise) he's still a functioning adult and a parent, with days off and holidays when he can actually do his share.

When I was part time I got home at 3:30 and OH between 5 and 6. At most I had two extra hours (with DD) to do things . Did that mean that OH should've done fuck all ?

'Poor sod' can actually do some housework. That would be a nice thing.

He works full time.

Why is everyone missing the point that OP only works PT? Why is that? To do motherly an housewifey things, one would suspect.

Would you choose to be a surgeon and then get upset because someone has complimented you on being a great surgeon? She has OPTED to play wifey while her husband is the breadwinner, but it seems is embarrassed (and that's why she's angry) to have it pointed out.

If it's not the 1950s, then don't act like it is. Go and work full time and share the house workload 50/50.

This.

Some people aren't happy if they aren't finding fault with everything around them, though.

@BridgetJones55 the child is 6 years old
No mention of breastfeeding

OP, when the children are not breastfeeding etc, will you be going full time (in a better paying job) so your DH gets a turn at being a SAHP ?

Is he trying to acknowledge that the unpaid work you do in the house is valued? If you’re part time and he works full time, then you’re going to do more of the ‘homekeeping’, he’s recognising this and appreciating it.

If you don’t like the division of labour in your home, set about changing it, rather than be upset when you’re thanked.

Each to their own, I suppose.

I guess we all have different expectations. I just find competence and self-sufficiency really attractive in a man, and keeping your living space clean is basically adulting 101, surely? I could never respect a man who wilfully left that responsibility to someone else, much less find them sexually attractive. They’re too infantile to me. I think what makes it worse is that every one of these ‘trad’ men I’ve met has also stunk like Bigfoot’s arsehole, because a man who doesn’t take a pride in his living space tends to take little pride in his personal hygiene either. I’ll always remember that we had to actually tell my grandfather to wash once when my grandmother had a stay at hospital - not because he was ill or anything, but because she was the one who kept track of his showers and made sure he took them. This was a man who’d had an illustrious career in local politics, refusing to manage his own personal hygiene. Madness.

If he had said perfect HOUSE I could understand you being annoyed. But to me perfect home is a huge compliment. Home to me is where you are happy and comfortable and feel safe and cared for. Its not a physical 'you are great at doing laundry' but more of an environment and a feeling.

So I'd give him the benefit of the doubt on this one, although in the long term it is quite telling that YOU are the one creating the home. If you were doing it together and for each kther I suspect you would be feeling less resentful of him right now!

Do you have kids? Please don’t pass on your deeply ingrained sexist views to them.

My husband and I have both worked full time and shared housework and childcare for 30 years. He is still a man and I am still a woman. Our sons and daughter have seen respectful equality at home. Luckily they don’t see a man cleaning as a ‘feminine’ task 🤢

I would be over joyed at this, why do people pick at everything these days. What a beautiful card and I'm daily told this by hubby and quite often by our teens and it makes me smile everytime

Men that clean are yes men now? 😂

I will admit he's more of a butch type man both physically & mentally but he treats me brilliantly & thats what counts.
I wouldn't be attracted to a yes man

You may well be better at cleaning than your husband. He sounds pretty useless to be fair. Or perhaps he just can't be arsed.

But you are wrong to assume that all men are the same.

Not the case in my house. Though it's cleaning, it isn't exactly difficult.

But tbf we are better 😂

Exactly

What on earth are you talking about?

DH cleaning in his own house isn't feminising him because cleaning isn't feminine.

poor ickle menz

Oh,forgoodness sake. How about trying not to feminise men. They don't know these days how to keep their women happy uless they abolish their identity & become more like them. I find that off putting.

My DH doesn't fuss over cleaning, he just does it but then I don't fuss over cleaning either.

I just love a man who fusses over cleaning, not 😂