Dh’s card said I ‘Kept a perfect home’

I'd take it to mean the home you have created for your family. The love, the warmth, the feeling.

A friend of mine recently said to me "you have such a lovely home" and I knew she wasn't talking about my cleaning skills!

I see it as he's actually attempting to make amends and trying to tell her she is appreciated.
Either of us could be right!
Maybe he will step up now.

I obviously don't know your DH and his thought process, but if my husband wrote that, I'd love it.

We see our home as a comfortable, welcoming (and yes, clean) refuge for our family, but the emotional connection stretches far beyond that.

What makes our home "perfect" (for us) is the care and love that's been poured into it, all our personal effects, art, books, children's paintings etc.

I've often read the phrase "give a woman a house and she'll turn it into a home" and I largely believe that to be true.

I think it has very little to do with "housekeeping", but I can't presume to understand your husband's motivations for writing that. Only you can say.

I missed that they have a cleaner.

So OP is being even more U.

You’ve pretty much said yourself that’s it’s not about this really. It’s that you’re pissed off about aspects of the relationship
and have take offence about the inference the household stuff is your domain - and you do it perfectly. Whereas you’d like the house to be on the ‘to do’ list of both of you. I think that’s a fair point. Your problem is that instead of addressing that directly you are going to be sour about this present and he’ll just think you’re being a petty bitch and ungrateful.

Why would that be a given seeing as they have a cleaner?

He thinks a pat on the head for his little wife will keep her happy for another year. Sounds like an asshole

I would go back to work FT and he can keep the “perfect home” he so values. Or not. Either way I would be doing less housework.

(Well in fact I’d give him the boot).

It's a bit clumsy, but as it came from both him and DD, then I would take it as them showing their appreciation for everything you do.

If my DH wrote that I would take it as a compliment. I probably do more around the house than he does, but that's my choice. If I insisted on equality in house work, then there would have to be equality across the board and there are some things I don't want to get involved with!! We have our status quo, and it works for us.

I always say how nice the garden looks if he has spent time doing the mowing.

I'm confused. Are you annoyed about having to do housework and him not doing any? Or annoyed he's thanked you for it?

Does he work full time? If so, and you work part time, surely it's a given you'll do more housework?

YABU

Stop trying to find things to be offended about.

He did a nice thing.

Unless you don’t keep the home nice, then I can’t see how you can be offended that he recognises this.

If he doesn’t pull his weight, then that’s a completely separate matter.
As you work PT, you obviously will be doing more than he does in the home but that doesn’t mean he should do nothing.
But this is separate to the card, which is separate.

Honestly it just sounds like you’re looking for something to be annoyed about/start an argument over, which is exhausting.

This

I think he was trying to do a nice thing.

He is trying to be sweet,.men are generally clumsy with their words.

As you had forgotten, it would have been better for him if he had forgotten too-as trying to pay you a compliment has annoyed you.

Poor sod.

You should have a laugh about it with him and ask 'does that mean I'm really good at cleaning...or that everyone in the home is happy? Or both?' do it lightheartedly. He might end up getting a little embarrassed by his choice of words. Either way I do think you should take it as a compliment.

Could it mean happy home, rather than perfect in a housework kind of way?

@JustSawJohnny As I said, why be one of the constantly offended. The DH was just expressing his gratitude. Jeez

It's not about being insulted, it's about making sure her DD knows that these things she is grateful are also the responsibility of her Father and that IWD isn't really about saying thanks for hoovering!

Would you rather he didn't acknowledge your contribution Op? Then you'd join the daily MN complaints about DH not appreciating or noticing your work.

Massive compliment, as long as that's not the only thing that he values you for. My dc saying I'm such a mummy is great, it means they've felt loved and cherished and recognises looking after children a d making them feel happy and secure is important
Yabu

Agree that it's worth clarifying if DD came up with that on her own or if it was suggested by DH. Also what was meant by it (does she mean the physical state of the home or the emotional love and safety of it).

Off the back of that, I'd be having conversations - With DH, that the 'keeping of the home' is a point of frustration for you, not pride - with DD, (dependent on whether she meant physically or emotionally) that you are happy that she feels her parents provide a happy home environment, but that this is the responsibility of both parents and not necessarily something to be 'celebrated' on women's day. Basically, just make sure she knows that a woman's worth is in no way attached to her home cleanliness, just in case.

You got a card and flowers on IWD?

I don’t know a living soul who has been acknowledged on this day. I’d take the win, frankly.