Horrified about DP’s sexist comments about IWD

"This is the first time he’s made any comments of that nature"

This should also be the last time he says them too as you kick his backside to the kerb. He's shown you what he really thinks ("in vino veritas" - "in wine, there is truth").

With him around, I can't see your friends sticking around much anymore either.

Apologies are utterly meaningless.
Actions are what count.
He has shown you in his verbal actions that he doesn't respect women.

Clearly you are going to accept this.
That's fine, your life.
Don't kid yourself that this won't crop up again and don't pretend you weren't warn.

He's a twat and now your friends know.
Subtle backing away from ye as a couple will likely commence.

Discerning people invariably cannot be arsed with uneducated twats.

He will embarrass you again.

That's what I mean about observance. We've had the legal right to equal pay since 1970. I was born after 1970, and equal pay has not been something I have been able to take for granted in my career - and I haven't had maternity breaks, which they often use as an excuse. I've usually been better qualified and at least as well experienced, if not more so, than my male peers.

Men also have the right to work full time and do housework and childcare. It is an issue thst many don't.

I wouldn't want an apology. It's just words, and even if he gives one it'll just be because he wants you to stop mentioning it. It won't be sincere - if it was, he'd have immediately apologised and been ashamed of himself. Or, you know... not said it in the first place.

He's a misogynistic twat, and he's shown you who he is. Why do you want an apology? How can you honestly move forward knowing he thinks like this - "joke" or not? I don't think making sexist jokes is funny. Do you? Would you be willing to dismiss it as a joke if he'd said something racist? I hate how women are so indoctrinated to brush off sexist comments as jokes and banter, accept them and move on. It's repugnant.

I'd never be able to touch the fucker again.

He's got comfortable enough to start showing his true colours....which are gross.

I bet they have no pay gap and an equal amount of women in management. They have nothing further to do apart from celebrate the ladies.

I actually got given flowers with a purple ribbon by the building management, as were all the women. Suddenly easy to figure out who the women are. Anyway sorry to derail, yes the OPs bloke is a fucking twat who can find a tradwife.

What a dumbass.

It's been a year and he's not being as careful and the mask slipped to expose his misogyny.

He was playing to the men who were around and at least they weren't having it. They saw just what that was and weren't amused.

Boys will be boys is an excuse to rugsweep unacceptable behaviour.

This.

In some countries women aren't given rights but flowers. It's customary to give a bunch of flowers to the ladies for being such pretty little things.

I don't see the point of IWD. I don't see the point of black history month and LGBTetc history month. I actively dislike International Men's Day.

But he sounds like a misogynistic twat.

To be fair, I’ve worked in several places where sexual harassment and gender pay gaps were par for the course but we were expected to be placated by IWD-branded pens every 8th March. I don’t think it’s just this poster’s office that’s lacking. IWD has become very tokenistic.

Urgh, that would be it for me I think.

He's not joking, this is how he thinks.

Is he also a fan of all lives matter?

Afghanistan is mentioned, that's just your office that's lacking

I can accept the occasional ‘boys will be boys’

Why? Why is it ok to SOMEtimes be a raging arsehole?

Our oldest son asked DH what a ‘Karen’ was recently. I was out of earshot. DH explained it was misogynistic and sexist, explained what misogyny is in basic terms, and that it was a horrible term to quiet women. We’ve never had that conversation. That’s who he is whether he’s around women or not.

I don’t want a partner who wears a mask when he’s trying to impress me at the start. I want someone who is decent when I’m not watching.

Anything less is unacceptable to me.

I sort of agree. In the last few hours I’ve received emails using IWD to try to sell me face cream, shoes, deodorant, underwear and asking me to sponsor a donkey of all things. All very tenuous.

None of this changes the fact that OP’s BF is a misogynist with the sense of humour of an absolute thicko, of course.

Dump him, no tolerance for this sexist nonsense

You're on notice, he's easily dumped now. I'd want to know this was a crass attempt at humour and not his opinion before moving your relationship onwards.
Even after thirty years of marriage I'd have pulled DH up there and then for comments like that. His actions at home don't reflect misogyny and I still wouldn't put up with such crap, especially in front of our friends.

An equally red flag is the disregard he is showing for your social circle and how you are perceived within it. On some level, he would have known this comment would be perceived as 'off', but this didn't stop him dribbling it out, perhaps on the off-chance that it might earn him a thumbs-up from one of the other men present. He prioritised his own chappy gag over your good standing with your friends. Textbook red flag and classic thin end of the wedge 'training' incident to see to what extent you're prepared excuse and explain away his behaviour.

*Editing to say "chappy" should read "crappy" but I think I'll leave it as it is.

Sure. Women have the right to work full time and do all the childcare and housework. They have too many rights. Time to level up.

Dicky comment but I also absolutely hate IWD. Patronising meaningless bullshit. It should be about serious issues that affect women's rights in developing countries, instead it's fucking purple cupcakes and balloons in the office with zero mention of Afghanistan.

Are you talking about the far right Great Replacement theory?

Eh? Literally not going to happen. And a xenophobic slur to boot.

How desperate do you have to be for a man if you stay with someone after they fully reveal their misogyny?
The guys doesn’t like women; not as real people anyway. Just dump him. There are better men out there.