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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect husband to feed baby on the weekends?

116 replies

Gemmy96 · 08/03/2025 09:23

I am a SAHM who looks after dc (1yo) from Monday to Friday solo. This includes all meals, with the exception of a few dinners a week, all cooking, all baby groups, all medical appointments, etc. All the usual SAHM things. My husband goes out to work Monday to Friday. We have just had our usual Saturday morning row because he wants to lie in (as if I ever get to!) and is whining about me asking him to feed the baby. The issue is, apparently, that he never gets a full day off. AIBU?

OP posts:
Nothatgingerpirate · 08/03/2025 09:50

He's keeping a whole family financially secure.
You are a SAHM.
Before anyone says "so what, it isn't 1950" - so what if he decided not to do this and walk away?
Jump and feed your (supposedly wanted) baby.

Shade17 · 08/03/2025 09:49

He should also be dealing with any nighttime issues on Friday and Saturday nights to give you a proper break.

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 08/03/2025 09:49

Gemmy96 · 08/03/2025 09:26

Because the other adult wants to lie in both days.

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Yeah.

Not happening.

Sometimes we have to push back a bit with the people in our lives. Firmly, politely, and robustly.

Rainbowclouds101 · 08/03/2025 09:41

Gemmy96 · 08/03/2025 09:26

Because the other adult wants to lie in both days.

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That’s not happening is it. His lie in Saturday, yours on Sunday.

jeaux90 · 08/03/2025 09:41

Bloody hell, another useless man post.

You take turns for a sleep in.

Better still go back to work FT then it's 50/50 see how he likes it then.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 08/03/2025 09:39

Your a SAHM Monday-Friday while he goes our to work.

Easy solution to solve the lie in problem and get him to help with baby would be he becomes a SAHD Sat-Sun and you get a weekend job...

Penguinmouse · 08/03/2025 09:38

One lie-in each, he’s a dolt. Presumably you save the household money by being a SAHM and therefore eliminating childcare costs. That’s work too but it’s clear he doesn’t see it like that.

Whaleandsnail6 · 08/03/2025 09:35

I'd say turn taking.

You both deserve a lie in day at weekend and you both deserve "down time" so split weekend childcare and household tasks.

susiedaisy1912 · 08/03/2025 09:34

Don't have anymore children with this man.

UpsideDownChairs · 08/03/2025 09:33

One lie-in each is what's fair (and the thing I missed the most when I became a single mum to younger kids... of course now they're older, it's that I get no time alone in the evenings instead :) )

I know I hate when people suggest a sit-down chat, but, for your own sanity, have a sit down chat and confirm that his expectation is that because he goes out to work monday to friday, he should never do any childcare, and you are responsible for house/kids 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week.

Once you have that said out loud, that yes, he doesn't ever expect to take any responsibility for the children, and you should never have time off, you can decide what you want to do about that.

Middleagedstriker · 08/03/2025 09:32

Sorry you married a dick.
Go out the house. Have a walk together and talk it through. Explain you both need a lie in. Agree one day you don't cook and one day he doesn't.
Don't have more children with him.

KenIsAnAccessory · 08/03/2025 09:31

🤣 lolz. He's a dad now and needs to lower his expectations. As a parent you might get a 'full day off' a couple of times a year, if you're lucky. And you need to arrange the childcare, prep your DCs stuff (clothes, food, toys etc) depending on who's looking after them (if not the other parent). And be grateful to the person(s) facilitating the day off.

Lie ins should be shared 50:50.

ItTook9Years · 08/03/2025 09:26

Gemmy96 · 08/03/2025 09:26

Because the other adult wants to lie in both days.

Show quote history

Well, that ain’t happening, is it?

have you any crayons handy? Looks like he needs a picture…..

Original poster
Gemmy96 · 08/03/2025 09:26

araiwa · 08/03/2025 09:25

How can two adults not agree on one person gets to sleep late on Saturday and the other on Sunday?

Because the other adult wants to lie in both days.

OP posts:
ItTook9Years · 08/03/2025 09:26

That’s cool. He gets today, you get tomorrow, right?

araiwa · 08/03/2025 09:25

How can two adults not agree on one person gets to sleep late on Saturday and the other on Sunday?