To expect husband to feed baby on the weekends?

DH and I used to do one lie in each.
Your DH is being unreasonable saying he never gets a "day off" because your job is 24/7!
Parents of young children just can't really expect many "days off"

So you explain how you work as well. From xx when the baby gets up to you when they go to bed. Housework cooking shopping etc. you get no down time. Do he gets one day you get the other.

if he don’t then I would wait till he gets up. Say see you I am off out the baby’s all yours, will be back this evening some time. And here’s the list of jobs that also need doing and go

No, it's me, the ginger haired pirate 😆
And this is my opinion on SAHMs, without being rude to anybody.
This is how it used to work the best, for the family (which when started, should absolutely be put first, as many say).

This is getting closer to it.

'Alternating' request is vague. He can get Saturday mornings and early afternoon to lie in which would be exact and clear to him. You take Sunday mornings.

The idea anyone can take a full day lie in when they have a baby is for the birds. Kids are hard work.

However, he may also need a few hours (2 hours) downtime on Sunday afternoon - either with family if that's what relaxes him or reading or whatever- so he is ready for the week again.

@Gemmy96 - is your husband a ginger haired pirate by any chance - can't see that anyone else would post such a ridiculous comment.....

Mumsnet really needs to add 🙄 to the reaction options.

Why shouldn't OP get to lie in every Sunday?

Quick Q

Thanks to the SAHM who said she divorced over the same because 'she had a non sleeping baby'.

I have already read in parenting magazines etc etc and possibly on MN that SAHP 'sleep' in the day 'whenever their baby sleeps'. Hopefully most babies manage a full hour sleep.

Would the next argument then be 'when baby sleeps, the SAHP' is doing laundry, cooking for family etc.

I can certainly see no room for the parent who goes out to the office not to also do some chores around the house esp at the weekend.

How people's mental health is not affected by this 24/7 pressure is beyond me. Some help should be considered and paid for. Many parents with small babies get some help from family (if possible), nannies, adult kids etc etc. It is unrealistic to expect one person to take on that responsibility. Also, the long UK work hours mean many many people do need a lie in 'every Saturday morning' until 10am or 12noon just to recover from the week and to feel normal again.

You're both equal human beings. You deserve one each.

My DH was away 5.5 days a week until DD was almost 2 and he did more than your DH, OP.

There’s background to this folks.

You both have full time jobs. He goes out to work, you stay in to work by looking after your child. Child care is full time, if you hired a nanny to take your place - you’d pay them a full time wage.

Alternate lie ins on the weekend, you both deserve it. One on Saturday one on Sunday like others have said,

Well this is obviously unreasonable.

I do think he should get to lie in on Saturdays.

He is working FT and enabling you to stay home with your child.

Sundays should be alternated with the lie ins.

Does your baby not sleep through the night yet?
Can you not go to bed earlier if you’re tired?

Should I be "prepping" toys now?

The fair way would be that he can lie on on the Saturday and you can lie in on the Sunday, there should be no arguing on this at all adults in a relationship with children should treat each other fairly and share the care of their children where possible. My DH works alot and when our kids were babies he would always make sure I got at least 1 lie in on his days off till whenever I woke up and he'd do most of the childcare those days so I could have a rest. Being a sahm does not mean you do absolutely everything .

Hardly lol She'd be doing the nursery runs, time off and housework.

@BIossomtoes but if she worked full time as well he'd have to do 50% of the nursery runs, take days off when the child is ill/ nursery is closed, do 50% of the housework and week time child care. His work life will be a lot harder (that is, of course if he actually stepped up and didn't just leave it to women like lots of men do(

Because one adult is an asshole and decides to not get up.

Anyway, yanbu. My ex was like this. So he's missed 15yrs of his children growing up 🤷‍♀️.

If he feels that looking after/feeding his child is a job that means he doesn’t get a full day off, then he’s acknowledging that you have it as a job too. So if you do that job all week, when is your time off?

Yes but he would be spending a lot of his cash on paid for childcare.

And he would be losing work time doing nursery drop offs and pick ups.

and using up his Annual leave when baby is sick and can’t go to nursery.

and he would be doing 50% of the housework and childcare for the 128 hours a week that he wasn’t at work.

My partner works full time. I’m on maternity leave for 9 months until he starts his 3 months of paternity leave and I go back to work full time.

We swap nights: one person looks after baby and the other person gets the bed all night uninterrupted.

He sleeps in on weekends, and then takes baby to his parents or out for a few hours with friends so I get 2-4 hours solo at home.

He cooks every night. I do all the cleaning.

I don’t understand why people are so reluctant to split parenting evenly with their partner.

I get why a SAHM would be doing the domestic work as her spouse would be providing all the money. What I don’t understand is why the person who is at work all week, missing out on parenting their child, doesn’t want to spend as much time as possible bonding with and nurturing their child. Unless having a child was more about spreading their seed while also securing a housekeeper… surely not 🫣

is it really such a big deal that it needs to create an argument, I’m sure the OP gets much more sit down time during the week when her OH is out working. one year old babies do still sleep a lot.