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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I being mean ?

34 replies

TheThreeMiracles · 08/03/2025 09:22

I've just asked dp if I could borrow some money out of his savings until Monday when I get paid to get some gaviscon, I think I may have heartburn but never had it in my other pregnancies, he asked me why I needed it ( didn't like being questioned but nevermind ) he then said yes but moments later came in with..........

My son's infant gaviscon he had as a baby ! The sachets made for babies ! Really proudly " here you go we don't need to buy some we have these "

AIBU to think what a thick idiot he is today 🫣

OP posts:
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EnjoythemoneyJane · 08/03/2025 22:30

So you’re pregnant (again?) by a man who ‘lends’ you money out of his savings for cheap over-the-counter medication, on the proviso you pay him straight back the minute you can?

And you’re posting so everyone can join you in an eye roll about how the silly billy tried to palm you off with expired kids’ meds?

Yeah … good luck with everything, OP.

holycrumpet · 08/03/2025 22:28

TheThreeMiracles · 08/03/2025 09:26

Money is pooled, both wages go into joint bank account he has an account separate for his savings x

Do you have a savings account for yourself?

If not, get one and start using it. Now.

Stripeyanddotty · 08/03/2025 22:04

You have shared children with this man.
Why are the savings not shared?

GloriousBlue · 08/03/2025 22:03

I couldn't live like this with the person I have children with

Shared money all the way.
Or if someone is a much bigger spender than the other, separate pots for "spends".

To think he'd actually ask for the money back is absurd.

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 08/03/2025 21:58

You are in a very worrying financial situation even if you don’t see it. At least one child already, a baby on the way and so little money for yourself you need to ask to borrow money for Gaviscon? Will maternity leave involve you being utterly reliant on asking for his handouts?

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 08/03/2025 21:52

In our household the MOTs and window repairs would come from the savings.
Meds for anyone would come from daily household expenditure.
If I had no money for necessities and asked DH for money it would not be repaid. And vice versa.

Dueanamechange2025 · 08/03/2025 21:44

Only you know the history behind this, but I would just read this as you need meds and he thought he already had some in the house.

GiddyCrab · 08/03/2025 21:40

HenDoNot · 08/03/2025 09:23

You’re pregnant and having to “borrow” money from your DP for some medication?

I think heartburn is probably the least of your issues.

Edited

This.
Is he always tight with money?

Glitchymn1 · 08/03/2025 20:55

Am I being mean / is he a thick idiot. What’s the aibu?!
Make a GP appt Monday, heartburn is a stinker. Is he always so penny pinching.

TheChosenTwo · 08/03/2025 20:55

Dh and I have separate savings accounts and also some joint ones both current and savings - don’t see how that is so unusual.
i don’t know what’s in his and vice versa.

Sounds though like you’ve had a rough financial month and like he was being a pillock. I really hope that he just transferred a chunk of money into the joint account. What happens if you need something else tomorrow? I’d not want to be at the mercy of such a tightfisted man.

honeyrider · 08/03/2025 20:50

He's really done a job on you if you cannot see what's going on. You have left yourself in a very vulnerable position and don't even see it?

Poonu · 08/03/2025 20:43

Why do you have this ask for money? Ps if u have to ask, you don't have money, your DH does.
And to question you over a tenner. You have far bigger problems then heartburn. Far bigger.

Crunchymum · 08/03/2025 20:14

£10 so not breaking the bank, and would have given it straight back Monday morning x

So he not only questioned you about it but he'd expect it to be paid back? £10 for medication and he'd expect it back - fuck me!!

Onlyvisiting · 08/03/2025 20:13

Leaving aside your questionable financial situation- I don't think he was unreasonable.
Someone says, I need to buy x it's pretty reasonable to say, 'oh, we already have some of that, here it is' he made a mistake as to if it was suitable but this part seems like a massive non issue to me.
Far more concerning that he has savings that are somehow separate to your joint lives. Did he come into the relationship with them, is that why they are being held separately?

Original poster
TheThreeMiracles · 08/03/2025 20:07

He got me gaviscon in with the shopping today, it's the questioning I can't stand

OP posts:
NormaNormalPants · 08/03/2025 10:03

Possibly besides the point but I’m struggling to understand why the unexpected car repairs didn’t come out of savings rather than leaving the joint account empty? Surely that’s part of the purpose of having savings?

ThinWomansBrain · 08/03/2025 10:01

you prefer to 'previous pregnancies' - so you've had more than one child already with this financially controlling twat who salts away money into his private savings while you are unable to afford medication & basic necessities?
And you seem to think him having money for his personal savings in this situation is perfectly normal???

Original poster
TheThreeMiracles · 08/03/2025 09:59

We would have money in there usually but with both mots and my window needing replacing, it's only a few days until money will go into it so not too bad and usually there's money there, I just felt annoyed he asked why I needed to borrow and then tried to make out like we already had some when he can't even be bothered to check it's for infants it feels like lack of care, I wasn't asking for hundreds I asked for £10 so not breaking the bank, and would have given it straight back Monday morning x

OP posts:
Grannywasafanny · 08/03/2025 09:54

So were you asking him to take money from his savings account for gaviscon? Do you not have any money in the joint current acc?

LadyKenya · 08/03/2025 09:49

Why is your thread titled 'Am I being mean'? Do you think that you are?

Tiswa · 08/03/2025 09:49

Savings are often in one persons names and if they are ISAs etc

i get the impression they are both lacking funds if savings need to be breached and he came up with what he thought was a good solution but isn’t

OP he tried to make a solution it didn’t work

SparkyBlue · 08/03/2025 09:48

I'm sorry but to me that's almost abusive. I can't think ever of a situation where I wasn't feeling well and DH would behave like that. I'm a sahm and I've never ever had to plead with my husband for money

Doingmybest12 · 08/03/2025 09:46

Why has he got savings and you don't have enough left for buying a bottle of gaviscon.

BarneyRonson · 08/03/2025 09:45

Separate savings? Why? Fenced off from you?

FannyBawz · 08/03/2025 09:35

What a disrespectful way to treat the women who is having your baby. Bloody hell. I’d honestly leave, he sounds abusive. Can’t you see it?