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Original poster

Is this rude if you were a guest?

317 replies

Britishsummertime22 · 07/03/2025 23:36

If you were a guest in someone's house and they went up to bed without saying goodnight or telling you they were going to bed/not coming back downstairs would you think that was rude?

OP posts:
MarkWithaC · 08/03/2025 17:11

Babycote · 08/03/2025 00:09

Against the grain, no I don't think it's rude. It's something I could imagine doing. Don't see what difference saying goodnight makes

Well, as a guest you don't necessarily know what time people go to bed, or what tasks need doing before bed and when. So one difference is that if someone says goodnight, you know not to expect them downstairs again and so you can decide to get your book and read on the sofa, or put a film on, or go to bed yourself.
If someone doesn't make clear that they're going to bed, they leave you hanging.

Weefox · 08/03/2025 17:02

Extremely rude, unless you had a good excuse. All you need to say is 'good night, had a lovely day but a bit tired now'.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 08/03/2025 17:01

saraclara · 08/03/2025 16:45

What? Have you misread the OP?

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Oh good, not just me thats confused by that post.

tuvamoodyson · 08/03/2025 16:50

Babycote · 08/03/2025 00:09

Against the grain, no I don't think it's rude. It's something I could imagine doing. Don't see what difference saying goodnight makes

So, you would walk off, without saying a word and leave your guest sitting there on your sofa?

saraclara · 08/03/2025 16:45

CoffeeCantata · 08/03/2025 16:30

OMG - why on earth did you do that? A simple 'good night - thanks for supper!' or similar is surely the minimum. I'd also say 'Can I help with anything before I go?'

And who are the 7% who think this is OK? Wow...

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What? Have you misread the OP?

InTheBalmyMidwinter · 08/03/2025 16:42

It's quite odd behaviour - even if you were keeping them up. I would have said something like: "Well I'm off to bed now as need my beauty sleep. Help yourself to anything you want".

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 08/03/2025 16:42

@CoffeeCantata What has the OP done wrong? She's the guest who was left abruptly on her tod whilst her hosts wordlessly buggered off to bed.

CoffeeCantata · 08/03/2025 16:30

Britishsummertime22 · 07/03/2025 23:38

I'm their guest

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OMG - why on earth did you do that? A simple 'good night - thanks for supper!' or similar is surely the minimum. I'd also say 'Can I help with anything before I go?'

And who are the 7% who think this is OK? Wow...

Mumofnarnia · 08/03/2025 16:23

FavouriteFilms · 08/03/2025 16:19

I think I’d go home early, make sure you let them know though. Tomorrow morning sounds a good idea xxx

After the way they disappeared last night without letting op know they’d gone to bed, I’d be just inclined to disappear home without letting them know too lol

FavouriteFilms · 08/03/2025 16:19

I think I’d go home early, make sure you let them know though. Tomorrow morning sounds a good idea xxx

LemonyFace · 08/03/2025 16:08

MassiveOvaryaction · 08/03/2025 15:53

Ok next question - how did you not notice them having an argument in front of you?!

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I doubt they had the argumentin front of her, otherwise I'm sure op would have mentioned it.

ilovesooty · 08/03/2025 16:02

MassiveOvaryaction · 08/03/2025 15:53

Ok next question - how did you not notice them having an argument in front of you?!

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Probably one of them left, the other followed and the argument happened then, resulting in them not returning.

Still rude and I hope they apologised.

LemonyFace · 08/03/2025 16:01

Britishsummertime22 · 08/03/2025 15:49

Yep they'd had an argument. And they are my friends for people asking who they are.

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Did they apologise for their behaviour?

MassiveOvaryaction · 08/03/2025 15:53

Britishsummertime22 · 08/03/2025 15:49

Yep they'd had an argument. And they are my friends for people asking who they are.

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Ok next question - how did you not notice them having an argument in front of you?!

CorsicaDreaming · 08/03/2025 15:53

@Britishsummertime22 - hope you've had a nice time today, and they don't fall out tonight. How weird of them not to at least come down and say good night.

Ignore the midnight posters last night, OP - load of nasties x

Original poster
Britishsummertime22 · 08/03/2025 15:49

ChorusOfDisapproval · 08/03/2025 14:34

Any update OP? Hope you're ok today. My money's on them having had an argument and were both grumpy. So rude to do this though.

Yep they'd had an argument. And they are my friends for people asking who they are.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 08/03/2025 15:23

BePoisedCritic · 08/03/2025 14:41

Not rude.

How on earth is it not rude?

RampantIvy · 08/03/2025 15:06

Even DH and I say to each other when we are going to bed.

Normallynumb · 08/03/2025 14:48

How were they at breakfast this morning?
I hope it's not awkward

MarkWithaC · 08/03/2025 14:44

dogcatkitten · 08/03/2025 14:41

Have you been staying for a while? Were they hinting that you should go to bed, before they went? Were they being tactful just leaving you to it rather than say they were going to bed (and seeming like you should) when it was obvious you wanted to stay up, to watch a film or something?

I would always say goodnight, but nought so strange as folk.

She's said she'd only been there a few hours.
It is rude, and weird too; why on earth would you NOT say goodnight, or 'Right, I'm off to bed, can you switch all the lights off when you go up' or something? (I think we've covered ND, before anyone says anything like that).

I'm intrigued as to what relation they are to you and how close, though; if they're super-close family or friends then I can imagine that being OK. Although I guess if you knew they usually did this, you wouldn't be posting about it...

BePoisedCritic · 08/03/2025 14:41

Not rude.

dogcatkitten · 08/03/2025 14:41

Have you been staying for a while? Were they hinting that you should go to bed, before they went? Were they being tactful just leaving you to it rather than say they were going to bed (and seeming like you should) when it was obvious you wanted to stay up, to watch a film or something?

I would always say goodnight, but nought so strange as folk.

ChorusOfDisapproval · 08/03/2025 14:34

Any update OP? Hope you're ok today. My money's on them having had an argument and were both grumpy. So rude to do this though.

ilovesooty · 08/03/2025 14:31

YourHappyJadeEagle · 08/03/2025 13:59

Are they not used to having guests?
Can you find a reason to go home early ( water coming through a ceiling, friend who has no one has broken an ankle, intruders in your house, great aunt is flying in unexpectedly from wherever are a few I can think of)

Why would she need to tell a load of convoluted lies?

Nanny0gg · 08/03/2025 14:21

AmusedBouched · 08/03/2025 12:20

My initial reaction is that they had just received some bad news.

At bedtime? And they then went to bed after?

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