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Original poster

Is this rude if you were a guest?

317 replies

Britishsummertime22 · 07/03/2025 23:36

If you were a guest in someone's house and they went up to bed without saying goodnight or telling you they were going to bed/not coming back downstairs would you think that was rude?

OP posts:
Namerequired · 08/03/2025 00:11

It doesn’t sound like anything you’ve done. I imagine they are just a bit thoughtless, maybe socially awkward and just tired. Hope it works out ok tomorrow.

PrincessofWells · 08/03/2025 00:11

MeAndMyGhost · 08/03/2025 00:06

Why do you do this?

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It's not deliberate! I went upstairs once, sat on the bed and fell asleep 😴
Occasionally be out in a group and just not want to be anymore so just leave rather than try and explain the unexplainable.

Babycote · 08/03/2025 00:10

They were probably just tired and ready for bed and didn't think anything of it! Some nights just peter out, I wouldn't overthink it

Spudthespanner · 08/03/2025 00:10

Babycote · 08/03/2025 00:09

Against the grain, no I don't think it's rude. It's something I could imagine doing. Don't see what difference saying goodnight makes

Well, you can take today as the day that you learnt it's rude.

Spudthespanner · 08/03/2025 00:09

I would leave now and wouldn't give a damn. Seriously, I'd drive home quite happily.

Babycote · 08/03/2025 00:09

Against the grain, no I don't think it's rude. It's something I could imagine doing. Don't see what difference saying goodnight makes

Devianinc · 08/03/2025 00:07

Britishsummertime22 · 07/03/2025 23:40

Not sick or drunk or anything. I'm wondering now if I've done something wrong but there was no argument or anything like that

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Was there anyone else there?

MeAndMyGhost · 08/03/2025 00:06

PrincessofWells · 08/03/2025 00:03

It's a French exit. I'm guilty myself on quite a few occasions.

Why do you do this?

Sapienza · 08/03/2025 00:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Devianinc · 08/03/2025 00:05

Britishsummertime22 · 07/03/2025 23:36

If you were a guest in someone's house and they went up to bed without saying goodnight or telling you they were going to bed/not coming back downstairs would you think that was rude?

Yes, and weird. Were you guys drinking or did they suddenly become ill

YouveGotAFastCar · 08/03/2025 00:04

Britishsummertime22 · 07/03/2025 23:46

I might but it's taken me hours to get here, I've taken time off work, organised childcare and pet care....

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Unfortunately, despite that, it seems you’re not very welcome. There’s just no way this happens if you are.

You don’t necessarily need to go home, but I wouldn’t be able to stay, it’d be so horribly awkward.

PrincessofWells · 08/03/2025 00:03

It's a French exit. I'm guilty myself on quite a few occasions.

SallyDraperGetInHere · 08/03/2025 00:01

Maybe they were having a row themselves 🤷🏼‍♀️

Leave a note on the kitchen table saying you’ve turned out the lights and checked doors were locked, as you weren’t sure if they were coming back down.

Squiggles23 · 08/03/2025 00:00

Could they have had a row? One went up to bed, other went to check where they went and ended up having an argument hence not coming back down?

It is rude/odd but I would just go to bed and not worry. Ask what happened in the morning.

Isittimeformynapyet · 08/03/2025 00:00

steff13 · 07/03/2025 23:53

If you had done something to offend them they would have told you to leave.

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Really? I think it would be an exceptionally nasty person who'd just ask a guest from hours away to leave, at night, for an unmentioned offence, so it doesn't follow.

I suspect they're just rude and weird.

Jemandthehollograms · 07/03/2025 23:59

How do you know these people? Do you know them well? Very odd! People are strange though so don't take it to heart. I hope you have a peaceful night

FrazzledHippy · 07/03/2025 23:59

This is honestly so baffling, I genuinely can't imagine not saying good night! Really rude too. Is there a possibility they've had an argument between themselves and are now upstairs having a whisper row? Still bloody rude not to make their excuses and say good night first !

Vaxtable · 07/03/2025 23:58

It’s really rude. I would be going to bed now, then getting up early and going home. Leave a note saying you do t know what you did, but as they were so rude as to disappear like they did you are assuming they don’t want you to stay

then stop having any contact

Tourmalines · 07/03/2025 23:58

Yes , you need to ask them why they left you downstairs without saying good night , it’s very rude . Actually, it is the height of bad manners.

healthybychristmas · 07/03/2025 23:57

That is not normal behaviour! Which one of the two are you particularly friends with, the 1st to disappear or the second?

cordeliavorkosigan · 07/03/2025 23:55

I agree that that's super weird, enough that I might mention it the next day--as in " let me know tonight when you're off to bed, I wondered for an awkward while last night before realising"! (Then I opened a pricy bottle of your wine 😁)

Lovelylydia · 07/03/2025 23:53

Very bizarre. Have you stayed before? Were you chatting before they went off? Or on your phone? (just wondering if they took offence if you were..). I can’t imagine just walking off without saying goodnight and making sure you had everything you needed.

Shinyandnew1 · 07/03/2025 23:53

Britishsummertime22 · 07/03/2025 23:51

I'm just wondering whether I should say something tomorrow

I would probably be going home tomorrow.

How do you know them? How did you come to be staying for 3 nights-did they invite you?

steff13 · 07/03/2025 23:53

Britishsummertime22 · 07/03/2025 23:45

I honestly just feel uncomfortable and a bit sad. And worried that I've done something but I'm going over the evening and I can't think of any time I could have said or done something that has upset someone.

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If you had done something to offend them they would have told you to leave.

MedusaAndHerFavourites · 07/03/2025 23:52

Are they horribly pissed?