Is this rude if you were a guest?

Oooft, it's late. I'm going to head upstairs but I'll make sure the doors are locked and please feel free to raid the fridge, watch TV etc. see you in the morning.

Wow. So difficult and taxing to just be basically polite to folk 🙄

That's so rude and uncomfortable. How well do you know them, Op? I'd be challenging them in the morning.

Or just have more chill social norms! Ones where if you want to go to bed, you do so

Wow, Mumsnet is a hive of weirdness at times. People would just disappear upstairs and leave guests completely clueless in the living room?!

If someone did something that I found so offensive that I felt like I couldn't be in the same room with them anymore then I would ask them to leave my home, yes. They would no longer be entitled to my hospitality.

@Babycote

Bur it's never just goodnight is it, you have to give a reason for leaving, and everyone's slightly disapppointed in you, and then there are instructions about lights and breakfast and you make other people feel it's their bedtime too, and it's all just dreary and better avoided

Then don't have guests in your home. Fuck me, if you can't engage in basic social norms don't invite anyone round. Friends are clearly dreary and better avoided.

So go around and switch off everything. She knows where she is..

Bur it's never just goodnight is it, you have to give a reason for leaving, and everyone's slightly disapppointed in you, and then there are instructions about lights and breakfast and you make other people feel it's their bedtime too, and it's all just dreary and better avoided

Yes,I would consider it rude.

I wondered this too. It's the only other explanation, really

I'd probably just laugh it off with them in the morning. "I didn't realise you'd gone to bed! I hope I wasn't keeping you up. What time do you usually turn in?"

If there were any hints you missed that's an easy way to set expectations for the next two nights

Are they very posh? Very posh people do this sort of thing all the time. Don't take it personally.

It's definitely rude, but if they're good friends and you can't think of anything you might have done to piss them off, then I'd give them the benefit of the doubt this one time. Maybe one went to the loo, then felt poorly and had a lie down and fell asleep, then the other went up to see where they'd got to and just joined them in bed?

I'd probably say something in a light hearted way in the morning, like "I'm relieved to see you're talking to me this morning, I was worried I'd done something to upset you when you both disappeared off without a word!" and most normal (non-rude) people would respond along the lines of "Gosh, did neither of us say goodnight? I'm so sorry, that must have felt really strange!" and you can get on with enjoying your visit. I certainly wouldn't be packing my bags and heading home in the morning on the off chance they were upset with me!

How long have you known them and have you stayed with them before? Is it meant to be a holiday for you, it definitely sounds very strange. How long are you due to stay?

Times have changed. In the old days you had to carry a kid for 9 months. Now they only gestate for a couple of months and are born ready to walk and go off to university.

If you have already been shown to a guest room and unpacked etc- I'd just go to bed when you are ready. Maybe have a chat to the hosts re expectations tomorrow. Must admit I hit a brick wall on occasion (especially when having a few drinks) and I'm like a homing pigeon and just get in bed- but I'd likely announce it and say right off to bed see you tomorrow !

the whole goodnight thing

This made me laugh. What, saying "goodnight"?

😂😂😂 fucking hell.

What's going on with posts like this? It's so out of the realms of normal adult behaviour to just disappear on your guests but yet people are defending it? Truly bizarre.

Yes, eat all the snacks. Enjoy! Then leave very early in the morning without saying goodbye.

It's weird to wordlessly leave a room when a guest is staying and never come back. OP just sitting like a total lemon. Normal people say "well that's me turning in now" or something.

Honestly, Mumsnet is full of the weirdest responses to normal interactions. How do people navigate every day life? It's baffling.

That aside, I'm now more interested in the OP posting a few months ago about being childless and now posting she needed childcare 👀

That is incredibly rude, and I'd feel so unwelcome and actually I'd consider going home

Some people just don't want the whole goodnight thing, easier to just dip out and go to bed quietly. You'll see each other in the morning, no need for a tuck in, you're not 10

I would be worried that everything was locked/switched off properly in someone else's house. I hope you can say something tomorrow. Is one person your relative or closer friend?

Well, I think you might be the guest that never goes to sleep and they were tired. Do you get when people are making yawning noises and stuff that it’s time to go to bed. I’ve told guest to go to bed a million times. Some people just don’t know when to end things and as you were already sleeping there, they didn’t need to say anything else. GO TO SLEEP.