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Original poster

Do you holiday without DC?

92 replies

NewMomma21 · 07/03/2025 22:34

Trying to gauge how common holidaying for a few days without DC is.

DC are 1.5 and 3.5, I won’t bore with the details but suffice to say it’s been an exhausting year between lack of sleep and seasonal illness. Younger DC was an exceptionally high needs baby. Cried pretty much all day every day for a year. Has improved greatly since walking and talking. We were due to holiday in Europe in July but I’m just not sure younger DC is quite there yet. It would be tremendous stress (primarily on me) if he didn’t enjoy. I am also concerned about potential heatwaves and the impact of same on DC (pale and not used to intense heat).

We are thinking of visiting my DB in scenic part of UK instead. DMIL has suggested DH and I go abroad for 2/3 nights, get some sun and Rest and she along with my DM will mind DC in our home.

Im naturally an anxious person and can’t help but think of all the things that could go wrong. We wouldn’t be going until June so hopefully illness will have abated. We have friends who have done similar but I’m not sure.

Would you leave 21m old and 3 and a half year old for a few days? Just to add I’m not sure DM is overly keen so I haven’t asked just yet. More thinking it over, or rather over thinking it over.

OP posts:
Hillsaremyhappyplace · 08/03/2025 07:23

You don’t need to justify yourself to people on here! Book the holiday. Go to the sun! ☀️

DaisyChain505 · 08/03/2025 07:11

If you want to go you should go.

Your children will be in their own home with loving relatives.

The word will not end if you go without them and it will do you and your DH the world of good to relax and reconnect as a couple and not just be “mum and dad”

Fucketbucket · 08/03/2025 07:04

Book the holiday!

Original poster
NewMomma21 · 08/03/2025 06:54

Both grandmothers mind DC two mornings a week as I work PT so DC are very comfortable with them. My SIL has said she will come round and help MIL and my own DSis will also come round and her teenage daughter will come help my my mum.

My worry really is that younger DC is still a bit of a fusspot. But they are used to him and from their accounts he is usually fussiest for me and not them.

Staying local is probably not a great option. The hotels in Ireland are eye watering LH expensive and I just don’t think I would enjoy two nights away when it’s costing me probably about €1200. We initially thought we would go to Dublin for a night and every decent hotel was €500-€600 with nothing included, not even breakfast!

OP posts:
ramonaqueenbee · 07/03/2025 23:44

Your LOs may feel a bit upset especially more vulnerable times of day, such as bedtime.

If you trust your PIL to comfort them, it will be a win for all of you. If you don't, that's a different matter.

Every situation is different. Bit if you do trust your PIL to be emotionally available to your LOs, I hope you make the most of a break in the sun and return refreshed!

CarpetKnees · 07/03/2025 23:41

So I would love to go away but I’m nervous of leaving DC in case they became unwell or upset and I’m far away and can’t be there if needed.

So the obvious answer is a couple of night somewhere relatively local.
You get the 'R'n'R', including some good nights' sleep, and lovely meals and lone time with your dh, but you will be FAR more relaxed, knowing that in the unlikely event they need you, you could be home in little over an hour.

Fergalsharktale · 07/03/2025 23:37

Our friends have just gone away for 10 nights to America leaving their 2 kids with grandparents. Fair play I say.

ramonaqueenbee · 07/03/2025 23:35

Your MIL has already cared for them at times, you are in the fortunate position of having loving and involved grandparents who want to create a bond with your children that will be a benefit and treasure for all of you in years to come. Presumably if your DH had been unwell as a toddler they would have applied calpol and distraction as appropriate!!

I might offer some money or tickets for a special outing for all of them (kids theatre, soft play, even just snacks/lunch at garden centre or similar, whatever they want and are comfortable with) but honestly I think you are overthinking this!

If they aren't happy, obviously you don't do it again. If they all enjoy it, you've a resource for school holidays going forward.

I just don't get the problem, TBH.

dafa · 07/03/2025 23:34

Ww have done a few nights away in UK and both DH and I have done separate abroad breaks with work or friends.

We have a significant birthday this year so we are going abroad for 4 days. DC is 7 and in school so both sets of GPs are babysitting.

Everyone is different, do what makes you comfortable and what is good for your children. I’m lucky that my DC is very easy going and has great relationships with GPs, so easier for me to go away and have no worries.

HeyThereDelila · 07/03/2025 23:29

No. Agree you need and deserve a break - go to a nice hotel or B&B for 1-2 nights to a scenic location 1-2 hours from home. Not abroad at that age, you won’t relax anyway.

DH and I do the v rare weekend away from DS but I wouldn’t go abroad without him. He’d be upset and I wouldn’t enjoy it.

Some acquaintances we know go away for a week each year to the med without their DC while the kids go to their grandparents. I couldn’t do that. Apparently the DD one year said “do you promise you’ll come back and get me?”. Children shouldn’t be saying things like that. Small kids need their parents, and in my view a week abroad is too long.

Original poster
NewMomma21 · 07/03/2025 23:23

TheatreTraveller · 07/03/2025 23:09

I wouldn't even consider me and DH both being in a different country to our young children, and ours are 4 and 7. If there was an accident/illness it doesn't bear thinking about.

I also don't understand why you can't enjoy a holiday with them, by 1.5yrs mine had both been abroad a couple of times each (Disneyland Paris x 2, Mallorca and Menorca) and we'd had the best times of our lives. They do have children in France and Spain so no reason why this would be an issue.

Honestly I feel like only people who have had a very high needs child would understand the reluctance to take them abroad, DS only stopped crying 14 hours a day a couple of months ago. If he didn’t take to it he would scream all day!

We have great holiday options here and in the UK for them

As I said DC are very pale, have never been in any kind of heat and would probably struggle in the very high heat of summer in Europe. They are too young for kids club and so I have visions of them being too hot outside or stuck in hotel room. I cannot wait to take them to all the lovely places you have been but for right now younger DC is probably too young

OP posts:
Hollyhedge · 07/03/2025 23:21

Yes I would. The couple I know who have done this seem better for it

DurinsBane · 07/03/2025 23:21

We did. 3 nights when kids were 2.5 and 10 months. No flight, but 8 hour drive each way.

Original poster
NewMomma21 · 07/03/2025 23:17

Tiswa · 07/03/2025 23:00

Why are you trying to gauge how common this is? It is a marmite question some will some won’t like it. It is completely a personal choice.

that said it is interesting that your MIL suggested it but doesn’t want to on her own and yiur mum doesn’t seem keen.

you can’t push this onto a babysitter who doesn’t want it that isn’t fair and how will it work between the two of them.

maybe start an evening the two of them and build up

I’m not sure where I said DMIL didn’t want to do it on her own? She in fact offered to do all 3 nights Iif my own mum wasn’t available or didn’t want to. The whole thing was her idea! I would never dream of foisting my DC on unwilling babysitters. They are much loved and adored DGC. If my own mum was not comfortable in any way I would pull the plug. They have already done evenings and very occasional nights with their grandparents and there has never been an issue.

OP posts:
TheatreTraveller · 07/03/2025 23:09

I wouldn't even consider me and DH both being in a different country to our young children, and ours are 4 and 7. If there was an accident/illness it doesn't bear thinking about.

I also don't understand why you can't enjoy a holiday with them, by 1.5yrs mine had both been abroad a couple of times each (Disneyland Paris x 2, Mallorca and Menorca) and we'd had the best times of our lives. They do have children in France and Spain so no reason why this would be an issue.

JaceLancs · 07/03/2025 23:09

When my DC were under 5, the most we managed was a very occasional 1 night away
It’s what you go through for 10/15 years unless you have Nannie’s or very involved family

Hillsaremyhappyplace · 07/03/2025 23:08

I’m laughing how everyone is trying to persuade you to stay in Ireland!

I would so do it OP. Lucky you having willing family! And yes the travel is time consuming but even sitting in an airport and on a plane without kids is a treat. I went to South Africa for 3 days for a christening when mine were that age. Heaven! Someone bringing me food, being able to sit down and read a book/watch a film etc…then sun at the other end! ☀️

MrsMalaga · 07/03/2025 23:02

U cd book last minute if u r worried about illness. And they cd b unwell wen ur away but ur not far, plus they have raised families of their own. Close your eyes and imagine the different holidays. What are u drawn to?

Tiswa · 07/03/2025 23:01

Also this isn’t something to do so torn. And even though it is different I loved holidaying with mine when they were little in someways easier than the teenagers I holiday with now

Tiswa · 07/03/2025 23:00

Why are you trying to gauge how common this is? It is a marmite question some will some won’t like it. It is completely a personal choice.

that said it is interesting that your MIL suggested it but doesn’t want to on her own and yiur mum doesn’t seem keen.

you can’t push this onto a babysitter who doesn’t want it that isn’t fair and how will it work between the two of them.

maybe start an evening the two of them and build up

Original poster
NewMomma21 · 07/03/2025 22:58

I am really torn. I don’t want to bring DC to the sun, I just don’t think they are at a good age for it yet. The cons outweigh the pros. However I will of course holiday with them, we will visit DB. We have access to two wonderful holiday homes here in Ireland that are close to beaches and child friendly activities.

But selfishly I would love a little sun break. I haven’t been away since before DC were born and even then it was covid. Our honeymoon was cancelled, we spent a small fortune holidaying here only to be sitting around in masks social distancing. So I would love to go away but I’m nervous of leaving DC in case they became unwell or upset and I’m far away and can’t be there if needed.

OP posts:
MrsMalaga · 07/03/2025 22:55

Plus every one of those cities are fabulous for a short break ❤️

MrsMalaga · 07/03/2025 22:54

Do it. Travelling without kids is so much more restful u will feel like u r on holiday the minute u leave the house. This is a generous and loving offer from 2 women who care for u both and your children.

u have been through the mill. Go, recharge, have fun and a few days away from your children will make u love them even more. Plus they will have a great time with grandparents in overdrive. Win win.

GloriousBlue · 07/03/2025 22:53

You say you need a sun holiday and to recharge, but there's been some great weather in England in recent summers.

In your shoes, I'd avoid the airport and travel and book a nearby spa weekend, choosing a hotel with lovely gardens.

If you do July/Aug it should be lovely.

MrsSkylerWhite · 07/03/2025 22:52

Most we ever did was a night away not too far from home.

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