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AIBU?

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Original poster

In-laws and Grandchildren

27 replies

wishuponacloud97 · 07/03/2025 22:12

Why (in my experience) do in laws favour their daughters children over their sons?

I have seen it time and time again. The only exception being my maternal Grandmother. I also have a MIL that just blatantly favours her daughters children over ours and it grinds my gears.

Please share your wisdom with me as mother to a boy and a girl I can't imagine ever feeling or treating their future children any differently in the slightest.

OP posts:
WinterSun20 · 07/03/2025 22:28

I think sometimes because (some) daughters lean on and involve their mother's in their parenting journey more than (some) sons do. If I compare myself to my brother, I craved my mum by side from soon after I gave birth. I wanted her support, her guidance and reassurance. Over time, this has meant my mum has been more involved overall with my parenting journey and by default my children. My brother didn't seek her out for that level of involvement. He loves her and is close to her, but he hasn't invited that involvement in his parenting.

I think because my mum feels more involved in my kids lives, she's formed more of a closeness with them (which I've facilitated) and I think that can come across as favouritism and it probably is a bit. She'd welcome the same involvement with my brother's children, but she wouldn't demand it. She takes her cues from my brother and lets him set the level of involvement he wants.

I don't think btw that this is every family. In my dh's family, he's involved his parents with our kids more than his sister and I think they feel closer to our kids more as a result.

wizzywig · 07/03/2025 22:15

Yes in my experience but hey ho, their loss.