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Original poster

To not tell partner about daughter's a&e attendance

135 replies

FedUp120028 · 07/03/2025 22:01

As the title says really.

D is an adult, he expects me to tell him if she attends but as per patient confidentiality, given she's an adult I should not. Only when NOK contact is necessary which is her mother should I contact a parent, otherwise it would breach confidentiality unless she explicitly tells me to.

OP posts:
Original poster
FedUp120028 · 07/03/2025 23:02

User1786 · 07/03/2025 23:01

YABU to create a pointless hypothetical argument.

Why?

OP posts:
Bluh · 07/03/2025 23:02

Ok so you know what he’s like now. You’ll leave him yeah?

User1786 · 07/03/2025 23:01

YABU to create a pointless hypothetical argument.

Original poster
FedUp120028 · 07/03/2025 23:01

Dery · 07/03/2025 22:58

I don’t think you should show him this thread. Surely you can Google the rules on patient confidence and show him. Patient confidentiality helps keep patients safe so the suggestion you’re choosing your job over your daughter is ludicrous.

It's not my daughter, it's his. I just don't like his intention to put me in that kind of position. I would always, always choose the patients basic right to confidentiality.

OP posts:
zeibesaffron · 07/03/2025 23:00

Your DP is absolute prick! You say ‘if he found out it would be over?!’ I would kick him out now - how dare he control his adult D and you like this!

As you know you could get the sack breaking confidentiality like that and quite rightly so.

Original poster
FedUp120028 · 07/03/2025 22:59

plsd · 07/03/2025 22:52

Such a weird discussion to have in advance - did this come off on the off chance she has to attend A&E, decides it's confidential and doesn't want her dad to know and you're also on shift.

You say no substance abuse or MH issues. So why would he be predicting she turns up?
Also; there are probably only limited scenarios where you wouldn't want staff to contact your dad (esp given you mum is NOK so assuming she's not married etc)

She lives with mum and she has naturally become NOK but she is closer to Dad.

OP posts:
Dery · 07/03/2025 22:58

I don’t think you should show him this thread. Surely you can Google the rules on patient confidence and show him. Patient confidentiality helps keep patients safe so the suggestion you’re choosing your job over your daughter is ludicrous.

Original poster
FedUp120028 · 07/03/2025 22:57

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/03/2025 22:53

So you're going to show him all these answers to prove you're right?

Of course!

OP posts:
PickledElectricity · 07/03/2025 22:56

FedUp120028 · 07/03/2025 22:46

Again, this is more to show him how right I am.

If he doesn't give a shit about you or the law what makes you think he will be swayed by a bunch of women online?

Come off it.

He wants you to risk everything and do as you're told.

BlazenWeights · 07/03/2025 22:56

VioletVX · 07/03/2025 22:12

Even posting this on Mumsnet is risking violating patient confidentiality.

Sounds like a pretty niche situation, with a lot of identifying information - adult daughter with separated parents, mother is NOK, father’s new partner works at A&E, sounds like the daughter likely has some ongoing addiction/mental health issues etc.

There must be people who could identify your step daughter from this.

Edited

Calm yer horses! You might hurt yourself from reaching that far.

Endofyear · 07/03/2025 22:55

FedUp120028 · 07/03/2025 22:51

Yeah it's definitely hypothetical and it came up in conversation but he basically said if he found out I knew then we'd be over!

Show quote history

Well he sounds like a complete arse. His daughter is an adult and entitled to medical confidentiality.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/03/2025 22:53

So you're going to show him all these answers to prove you're right?

plsd · 07/03/2025 22:52

Such a weird discussion to have in advance - did this come off on the off chance she has to attend A&E, decides it's confidential and doesn't want her dad to know and you're also on shift.

You say no substance abuse or MH issues. So why would he be predicting she turns up?
Also; there are probably only limited scenarios where you wouldn't want staff to contact your dad (esp given you mum is NOK so assuming she's not married etc)

outerspacepotato · 07/03/2025 22:52

"he basically said if he found out I knew then we'd be over!"

We call that good riddance to bad rubbish.

Original poster
FedUp120028 · 07/03/2025 22:51

Endofyear · 07/03/2025 22:49

OP this sounds like it's just a hypothetical issue that has come up in conversation with your DP and not a real life situation that has actually happened. You are right. I wouldn't bother continuing to try and convince him!

Yeah it's definitely hypothetical and it came up in conversation but he basically said if he found out I knew then we'd be over!

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 07/03/2025 22:50

Also I don't even tell my ex when our 16 year old goes to hospital because that's what he wants and I don't even work there children have a right to privacy

outerspacepotato · 07/03/2025 22:50

Tell him patient confidentiality is more important because he has zero rights here. That's a red flag that he doesn't get that.

He sounds like a real winner.🙄

Original poster
FedUp120028 · 07/03/2025 22:50

Theunamedcat · 07/03/2025 22:49

Honestly I guessed that but you should have put that in your OP

Show quote history

Yeah sorry, I was a bit 'het' up by his mere suggestion that he had a right to know.

OP posts:
Isthiswhatmenthink · 07/03/2025 22:50

Some responses here are fucking nutso.

Endofyear · 07/03/2025 22:49

OP this sounds like it's just a hypothetical issue that has come up in conversation with your DP and not a real life situation that has actually happened. You are right. I wouldn't bother continuing to try and convince him!

Theunamedcat · 07/03/2025 22:49

FedUp120028 · 07/03/2025 22:46

Again, this is more to show him how right I am.

Honestly I guessed that but you should have put that in your OP

nocoolnamesleft · 07/03/2025 22:47

If you breached her confidentiality 1)you could lose your job, 2)you should lose her job. If he cannot comprehend this, then I suspect he also can't get his head round things like consent, so I would consider this a red flag.

sandyhappypeople · 07/03/2025 22:47

Why does he expect you to tell him anyway? Surely if his daughter wants him to know she would tell him?

Are they estranged?

Original poster
FedUp120028 · 07/03/2025 22:46

Again, this is more to show him how right I am.

OP posts:
Original poster
FedUp120028 · 07/03/2025 22:44

Bluh · 07/03/2025 22:42

Jesus Christ I hope you get sacked

Well that isn't very nice.

I would not tell him if his daughter attended the emergency department.

OP posts: