To not tell partner about daughter's a&e attendance

Then it’s a breach of GDPR if you tell him without her consent, and you can face dismissal or even criminal charges.

You can’t tell him.

That's going to backfire on you badly. He's already showing strong signs of being controlling, he's already using coercive behaviour in threatening (promising, in my opinion) that he'd end your relationship if he found out that you didn't risk your job to facilitate his entitlement - he's not going to appreciate you trying to prove that he's wrong.

If you dump him for being a controlling, abusive piece of shit, you wouldn't have to deal with his bollocks ever again.

I retract above comment in that case and will just say serious red flags from your spouse.

@richardosmanstrousers I'm not sure that changes anything. If the patient told her step-mother/dad's gf in her capacity as such that she attended A&E, then the OP would be within her rights to share that info with the father, especially if she thought there was a risk of harm to the daughter. Anything that involves breaching patient confidentiality is obviously not ok.

It is hugely unsettling that someone who works in A&E is asking this on mumsnet!!

There’s no such thing as next of kin. It’s specified emergency contact or nearest relative.

OP isn't the parent though.

If you work there then surely the position is:

1. She told you herself that she attended A&E. You then have to decide whether, as a parent, to share that with dad; OR

1. She didn't tell you and you only know because you work there (how would you know, unless you'd been on shift?). In this scenario you'd be breaching patient confidentiality and could lose your job so no.

If you ever find yourself in a relationship and you're gathering evidence to prove you are right, you are in a bad relationship.

He's demanding you choose between him or your job. He does not value you ability to earn a living. Watch out for him attacking you independence in other areas - family, friends, pets, hobbies and interests. If he's controlling, he will resent anything that takes your attention away from him.

Is Crystal Clear, she says it's his adult daughter and that her mother is her NOK.

Sorry OP, but I'm in a similar situation but don't work in a hospital. My DH who has a pretty good relationship with his parents in general has told me if he is ever taken off to hospital I am not to call them under any circumstances.
I feel dreadful about this because if it was my son I'd want to know straight away.
The reason is that a couple of years ago he was taken to hospital by ambulance for what is a very private reason. He said don't ring my mum she'll get upset. Speak to dad and then he can tell her. So I did.
Within 5 minutes she called me back and then said "I was just explaining it to Elsie ( her sister) and she said she knows a good doctor. I asked why she had told DH's aunt and she said "I didn't know it was a secret"!!!! How do you get to 77yo and not know that you dont talk about peoples personal health information without checking with them first.
I'm in a conundrum now. He is not in the greatest of health but if I ring and he's fine I will be the bad one. If I don't ring and it goes bad I will never be forgiven.
Sorry again OP for massive derail.

In your situation, don't disclose any info. Just say No.

Wtf are you doing with this dickhead? Why are you prolonging the inevitable?

Because it hasn’t actually happened. What’s the point in arguing about any hypothetical situation. If something really happens feelings will come in to it and that’s different. I work for the NHS and know what I should do and have never breached any IG rules but it it was family, I can’t 100% say what I would do and I don’t think anyone could really. We all know what we should do. So it just seems like making an argument over the cake of it.

An adult female with a step parent who works in a medical facility and a dad who has no comprehension of privacy or his partner’s responsibilities with regard to confidentiality?

Oh yeah, I definitely know her!

@FedUp120028 - well that's your cue to tell him it's over right now.
He's a control freak.
Does this piece of shit man bring you any joy at all? Have a hard think about that.

Oh, and please do show him this.

🤷‍♀️If you have to PROVE to him that it is unethical and need to ask random people to back you up says to me that you need to find a better partner
It is up to him to have the kind of relationship with his child that would have her wanting to share so he could support.
The fact that he'd expect you to put YOUR job and livelihood at risk because he doesn't really isn't a great sign.
Patient confidentiality is a crucial part of care and someone who doesn't understand that wouldn't be worth my time 🤷‍♀️

🤣🤣🤣

Save him the trouble and tell him to piss off.

Really not, I can think of 3 people off the top of my head that this could relate to. Not multiply that by millions

Have you both had a few drinks tonight? It sounds like one of "those" kind of conversations 🥳

"Well apparently he has all rights ever to know about his adult daughter."

You must know this is not true, and so should he.
How can you stay with someone so controlling?

Ask him if he'd be okay with you calling HIS parents if he attended A&E for any reason and sharing his medical info?

That's a bit ridiculous. All we know is the OP works in A&E and has a stepdaughter. That could apply to hundreds, possibly thousands of people!