Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Inheritance to adopted child

181 replies

harlacem0507 · 07/03/2025 21:53

This is a very delicate/awkward post but I just need some advice.

My grandfather died 3 weeks ago, expected, a good age of 93, we were all with him. His will stipulates that his house/money goes to his 3 children, should any of them pass away before he did, the money that child was due to get goes to their children.

My dad passed away 3 years ago suddenly. I'm still grieving and will never get over it. However, my parents adopted me when I was 4 years old. My uncle (he's awful) has dropped hints that he will contest the will because I am not a biological child and I shouldn't get my father's share. My question is, will be have a case? The best of it is, I'm not bothered about the money, I have money and my OH has a good job and it won't be millions but still a good amount obviously, but it hurts more because he obviously doesn't see me as 'real' family? I mean that in itself just devastates me but what also bothers me is that I don't want him to get my dad's share either because he doesn't deserve it after what he has said about his own brothers daughter. Does it matter if I'm adopted?

OP posts:
BaronessBotox · 07/03/2025 23:02

Once you are legally adopted, you are not entitled to claim anything from your ‘birth family’, however you have the same rights in your ‘adoptive family’ as anyone born into it. I am so sorry you haven’t got your Dad still here with you, and I’m sending you a big hug. People can be so vile, especially when it comes down to anything they haven’t earned, but they see as their right to claim……

NattyTurtle59 · 07/03/2025 22:59

Your Uncle sounds like a horrible person. He can contest all he likes, it won't make any difference. However, I am very sorry you are having to deal with this. My awful step-siblings threatened to contest my DM's will, and while they didn't have a leg to stand on they held things up and it was very unpleasant having to go through it. I would have nothing more to do with my Uncle in this situation, people like that don't deserve any respect.

Teado · 07/03/2025 22:43

What a scumbag. But he won’t win!

TragicMuse · 07/03/2025 22:41

The legal definition of adoption is that a child becomes yours 'as if born to you'. You are your dad's child in law. Nothing can change your status as his child.

Your uncle can waste his money if he wants, but unless you're specifically excluded, your dad's inheritance will pass to you as his legal legatee.

Condolences on your loss. What a horrid thing to have to be dealing with.

ColourBlueColourPurple · 07/03/2025 22:41

Get yourself a copy of the will and go through it with a fine toothcomb. Sorry for your loss.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 07/03/2025 22:40

@harlacem0507 dont you listen to your horrible uncle!! he is not going to successful in contesting anything!! you are classed as a child of your late father so you will get his share or a share of his share if you have any other siblings, adopted or otherwise!! grandchildren do not have to be named in a will. money meant for a son or daughter is automatically passed to their children. uncle is very stupid if he does not understand this basic law!

PyongyangKipperbang · 07/03/2025 22:39

All that needs to happen is him to see a lawyer and realise that he will lose all of his inheritance trying to get yours, and will lose the case.

He probably wont contest it, and if he does he will lose.

You dont have to do anything at this point. I wouldnt worry too much.

ScribblingPixie · 07/03/2025 22:39

harlacem0507 · 07/03/2025 22:16

Thank you all, you know when my dad passed away despite him being devastated as I know he did love him, one of the first things he said was 'well at least the will only gets split in half now' meaning himself and my auntie (he hadn't realized grandchildren were also in the will) he's so money orientated it makes me sick. But once this is done and the funeral is done he's basically out of my life, I find it more disrespectful to my dad then I do to myself.

Your uncle is just a rotten, greedy person, OP. I wouldn't be upset and think that he doesn't regard you as, in your words, 'real family'. It's just that your adoption gives him an opportunity to try to claim more of the inheritance. He sounds like he'd grasp at any straw. I know from bitter experience how much worse this kind of behaviour makes the grieving process. I'm sorry you're going through it.

Chicheguevara · 07/03/2025 22:32

You are legally adopted and therefore you should inherit. Your Uncle sounds like a grabby twat.
If he tries to contest anything , because of your adoption, he will be given very short shrift.

Hoardasauruskaren · 07/03/2025 22:30

harlacem0507 · 07/03/2025 22:16

Thank you all, you know when my dad passed away despite him being devastated as I know he did love him, one of the first things he said was 'well at least the will only gets split in half now' meaning himself and my auntie (he hadn't realized grandchildren were also in the will) he's so money orientated it makes me sick. But once this is done and the funeral is done he's basically out of my life, I find it more disrespectful to my dad then I do to myself.

Your uncle is a horrible, selfish man! The untimely death of a sibling & all he cares about is he will get more from his parents will! Take your rightful share & never speak to him again!

harlacem0507 · 07/03/2025 22:24

drspouse · 07/03/2025 22:20

I think this is one of those situations where you wonder how someone as obviously lovely as your dad could be related to someone as scheming as your uncle.
Unless the will is really strangely written you will be fine.
We are adopters and we re-wrote our wills when we adopted DS and then DD. We specify our children by name and some other younger relatives.

Yes exactly that, my dad was wonderful, a wonderful husband, dad and grandad as my two were only little at the time, god he was just so special. My uncle is a liar, a cheat and a greedy twat. Me and my mum often wonder how they were both from the same gene pool.

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 07/03/2025 22:21

I’m sorry for your loss op. And sorry your uncle is a twat. At least you have seen his true colours and need have no more to do with him now. And as others have said, he’s shown himself to be a money grabbing twat in vain, given you will rightly get the inheritance you have been left.

drspouse · 07/03/2025 22:20

I think this is one of those situations where you wonder how someone as obviously lovely as your dad could be related to someone as scheming as your uncle.
Unless the will is really strangely written you will be fine.
We are adopters and we re-wrote our wills when we adopted DS and then DD. We specify our children by name and some other younger relatives.

FloppySarnie · 07/03/2025 22:19

What an utterly odious man OP. I’m sorry you’ve had to hear this. I’m a parent by adoption and I find
this sickening. There is often a bad apple in every family and you clearly have yours. Ignore. You are your fathers child, legally and emotionally.

bridgetreilly · 07/03/2025 22:19

You can request your own copy of the will, to check, but unless it explicitly excludes you, you will count. As you should.

harlacem0507 · 07/03/2025 22:16

Thank you all, you know when my dad passed away despite him being devastated as I know he did love him, one of the first things he said was 'well at least the will only gets split in half now' meaning himself and my auntie (he hadn't realized grandchildren were also in the will) he's so money orientated it makes me sick. But once this is done and the funeral is done he's basically out of my life, I find it more disrespectful to my dad then I do to myself.

OP posts:
Redshoeblueshoe · 07/03/2025 22:13

I am sorry that your uncle is a dick.
I am sorry that he is making a difficult time even worse.
Good luck for the future x

GRex · 07/03/2025 22:12

Adoption is a legal process to avoid this kind of nonsense. What an arse the man is. At least you now have one family funeral to avoid.

Genevieva · 07/03/2025 22:11

Your uncle has no case. Who are the executors? They are legally bound to carry out the instructions in the will.

ahhhhhhhchooooo · 07/03/2025 22:11

What a twat he is.

You are your father's child. That's what adoption is.

It reminds me of when people say 'I don't see the point in getting married, it's only a piece of paper'.

xyz111 · 07/03/2025 22:11

Sorry for your loss.

He's only doing it as he sees it as a way to get money for himself. I'm not expert but I'm sure he wouldn't have a leg to stand on. When all this business with the will is done, cut him out your life completely.

heymammy · 07/03/2025 22:07

You are you're father's child...simple as that, you're twatty uncle won't have a leg to stand on. I'm so sorry for your loss.

When my adoption was completed and adoption cert issued, my mum and dad's lawyer destroyed the file in a..."well we won't be needing that anymore"...kind of a way!

Which is a bit of a shame really as I would have found the detail very interesting as an adult.

harlacem0507 · 07/03/2025 22:06

Yes we live in England and my grandparents have always seen me as their own grandchild so I don't believe the word 'birth' child would come into it in the will but I can't be 100% as I haven't yet seen it it's just common knowledge that's how they did the will, obviously we wasn't expecting my dad to pass away before they did.

It's definitely not about the money but he's upset and angered me so much I'm desperate to not let him have a penny of my dads share.

OP posts:
Porcuporpoise · 07/03/2025 22:03

It will depend on the country that your grandfather lived in, but if he lived in England (and many other countries) adopted children have the same inheritance rights as biological children so no it makes no difference.

SemperIdem · 07/03/2025 22:01

Unless it is specified that you are not to be included in the will, you would be considered a “child of the marriage” just as your siblings would be.

I’m sorry for both your loss and the fact this uncle is a such an awful human being.