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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect him to reply and check I got home safely?

36 replies

GlorificusT · 07/03/2025 18:24

Last weekend my boyfriend and I went on a trip, we had a long weekend together and then he had to fly home to work. I stayed the rest of the week and travelled home today (we don’t live together yet). He warned me the night before the transport route was difficult.

So I sent a message at 9am this morning saying I was setting off. Sure enough the journey was hellish. He liked the message and otherwise hasn’t messaged me all day. He would usually ask how the journey went, ask if I got back safe or just check in on his lunch break.

I know I sound needy but how hard is it to send one message? It’s not a nice feeling.

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 07/03/2025 19:10

It's Friday night, is he even home yet? Still stuck in a late meeting? Queued on the M25? Dealing with a war time bomb?

Just text him, saying you're back.

dammit88 · 07/03/2025 18:55

Have you considered something may have happened to him? I would call him

amber763 · 07/03/2025 18:51

Don't be weird. Just message him and let him know you're back. He's probably busy.

Createausername1970 · 07/03/2025 18:51

It would have been nice, but not a deal breaker for me.

I would message to say I am back and the journey was crap, as he feared.

I work from home with fairly flexible hours, but I can still lose track of time.

Quinlan · 07/03/2025 18:51

But he was working? Did you check he got home safely?

GlorificusT · 07/03/2025 18:50

TheMorels · 07/03/2025 18:47

It would be the norm. Unless it’s a casual relationship?

It’s not a casual relationship.

OP posts:
Covertcollie · 07/03/2025 18:50

Are you a grown adult with 4 limbs and a head? If so, no. I would find this clingy and suffocating.

festivemouse · 07/03/2025 18:49

Hmmm do you usually check in on each other like that? When he did the journey, did you check in with him? If you did I would probably expect the same from him!

GreenWimmin · 07/03/2025 18:48

How busy is he?

Some days I pretty much sit in meetings for 7 hours and barely have time to eat or piss between calls. Sometimes I look at the clock at 11 and suddenly it's 5pm and the day has gone by in a blur.

TheMorels · 07/03/2025 18:47

It would be the norm. Unless it’s a casual relationship?

hopeishere · 07/03/2025 18:45

Is he at work? Busy? Just message him and say you're back and it was hell. It would be nice but it's not the end of the world.