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AIBU?

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Original poster

Partner putting the art back on the wall after I removed it

57 replies

Illprobsregretthis · 07/03/2025 18:02

Partner and I are moving house in a week. We have a 7 month old and a 2.5 year old. I have pretty much done all the packing myself - partner has this frustrating attitude of “it will get done”…

Anyway I removed all the art from the walls this evening and he’s come home from work and said why did I do that, he’s just going to put it all back up???

He said it takes 30 seconds what’s the point, and that having the art keeps the flat looking nice… The point is it’s the accumulation of 1,0000000 things that “only take” 30 seconds, 5 minutes, etc. it’s knowing we are done and we can just leave the house and not have loads of shit to do on what will already be a very busy day… please remember we have 2 children under 3.

I know it’s a stressful time - esp for us, moving home and having a baby and a toddler, but AIBU to think he’s being absolutely ridiculous here??

I am planning to marry him next year and he is usually really reasonable but sometimes he gets a bee in his bonnet about something like this and I just don’t understand it, at all.

YABU - keep the art up, it takes 30 seconds to remove and looks nice
YANBU - it’s one more thing to do on what will already be a ridiculously stressful day

OP posts:
Snoken · 07/03/2025 19:40

Hmm, I wouldn’t pack food or paintings a week before the move either. I like to keep my home feeling like a home for as long as possible so would prioritise differently and pack the non-edible and hidden objects first. Doesn’t mean your way is wrong, it’s just not how everyone would do it.

WTFFML · 07/03/2025 19:20

The bottom line for me is how are you transporting it. If it needs packing it should be done now, if it’s just going to be moved as is, leave it on the wall so it’s safer till moving day.

Original poster
Illprobsregretthis · 07/03/2025 19:20

Bumblebeestiltskin · 07/03/2025 19:14

Why are you taking the role of his mother?

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He does tax free childcare, all of the washing, toddler bedtime, car admin and all the driving, and loads of other things I either don’t have the desire or the time to do. Is he being MY mother?? Life is a lot more nuanced than anyone can describe on a social media thread. I can do a lot of the life admin but also still love and admire a lovely kind man I plan to marry! It’s all fine - no need to worry x

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 07/03/2025 19:20

Well he isnt a go with the flow type of guy is he, as that kind of guy would be happy with however you'd decided to do it. He sounds like the worst type of guy, the type of guy who is happy for his partner to do his share as well as their share of jobs, and not lift a finger to help, but happy to criticise how it's been done and offer unhelpful suggestions to someone who out of necessity, has it all in hand

Serpentstooth · 07/03/2025 19:16

Leave it up. If he's too 'busy' to pack,it on moving day, leave it behind. Remind him regularly that it's his fault. Good luck in your new home😀

Bumblebeestiltskin · 07/03/2025 19:14

Illprobsregretthis · 07/03/2025 18:23

Yeah, I will def make it his problem on the day! Tbf we are very different, I am v type A with a spreadsheet of things to do and he’s more of a “go with the flow” kind of guy. Although I do wonder how much of the flow he’d be able to go with if he didn’t have me in the background orchestrating things / feeding his children / setting up direct debits, etc. like the man is 33 and has never directly paid council tax - I just tell him how much to transfer…

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Why are you taking the role of his mother?

Cucy · 07/03/2025 19:11

He’s being a twat.

Its all well and good posters saying leave it to him to do the day before but we know that you’ll have done most of it by then and then be stressing trying to help him get it done on the last day.

As a PP said, if he’s packing his stuff on the last day, then it’ll be you doing all of the rest of the work.

You are moving really soon and anything that’s not needed should be packed away asap.

I do wonder if this is part of a bigger picture though.
Is he struggling with the idea of moving and burying his head in the sand?

WhereYouLeftIt · 07/03/2025 19:09

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 07/03/2025 18:11

On moving day, you take the children and leave it to him, after all it will only take him 30 seconds!

Edited

You beat me to it, HaudYer!

Seriously, it would be best if you removed the children from the chaos of the move. You've packed, you've done your share, now it's time for him to do his. After all, "it will get done", right? It just needs him to do it. You'll be busy wrangling a baby and a toddler.

Chuchoter · 07/03/2025 19:02

I couldn't tolerate somebody that had such a lackadaisical attitude, he would drive me up the wall.

Tell him he needs to pull his finger out and start helping with the move and that you find his lack of enthusiasm and any physical effort to be extremely tedious.

Glitchymn1 · 07/03/2025 18:52

Offcom · 07/03/2025 18:19

What’s unreasonable is that he’s asked why you removed something that’s being packed for a house move when you’re packing the house for a move. Like, I can see his point of view of thinking to leave it to the last minute but putting them back now it’s done Isn’t just unreasonable, it’s borderline insane?

This ^ I’d kill him. Unless I loved it myself, I’d bloody well leave it there lol Definite him problem on the day.

Original poster
Illprobsregretthis · 07/03/2025 18:48

Nothatgingerpirate · 07/03/2025 18:45

In my opinion, life is too short for this type of "compromise".
Living alone is and always has been the best.

I’ll let my 7 month old know he’s got a week to find a new place

OP posts:
Nothatgingerpirate · 07/03/2025 18:45

In my opinion, life is too short for this type of "compromise".
Living alone is and always has been the best.

TunnocksOrDeath · 07/03/2025 18:31

Illprobsregretthis · 07/03/2025 18:26

It is decidedly not good art 😂 I mean, they’re pretty, but they’re not valuable by any means

Edited
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Ah sod 'im then. Stick them in a big bag with cardboard sheets between to stop them getting scratched and crack-on.
If he doesn't like it, he can manage all those "5-minute" things on moving day while you nip to a spa.

Original poster
Illprobsregretthis · 07/03/2025 18:29

Garlicgarlicgarlic · 07/03/2025 18:27

Are you absolutely certain that marrying this man will enhance your life? A lazy, tedious man who 'doesn't let' you do things.

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Haha, no I do quite like him 😉 To be fair this is his absolute worst and oddest trait. He has lots of good qualities too!

OP posts:
Original poster
Illprobsregretthis · 07/03/2025 18:28

TheMeasure · 07/03/2025 18:26

It's all very well saying to make it his job on moving day but that just makes him unavailable for other jobs that need doing then.

Omg exactly. This is what I’m trying to tell him. He’s already said he’s happy to go back and forth with boxes in his car that won’t fit in the van and leave me with the 2 kids to “unpack”…. Like no thanks, I’d much rather drive thanks.

OP posts:
Garlicgarlicgarlic · 07/03/2025 18:27

Illprobsregretthis · 07/03/2025 18:23

Yeah, I will def make it his problem on the day! Tbf we are very different, I am v type A with a spreadsheet of things to do and he’s more of a “go with the flow” kind of guy. Although I do wonder how much of the flow he’d be able to go with if he didn’t have me in the background orchestrating things / feeding his children / setting up direct debits, etc. like the man is 33 and has never directly paid council tax - I just tell him how much to transfer…

Show quote history

Are you absolutely certain that marrying this man will enhance your life? A lazy, tedious man who 'doesn't let' you do things.

TheMeasure · 07/03/2025 18:26

It's all very well saying to make it his job on moving day but that just makes him unavailable for other jobs that need doing then.

Original poster
Illprobsregretthis · 07/03/2025 18:26

TunnocksOrDeath · 07/03/2025 18:25

The only way I'd say he has a point is that if it's "good" art that might get damaged, and can't be easily replaced, the safest place for it while you pack is probably the walls.
We had some paintings on the floor propped up against the wall for a while (long story) and it was quite a worry that they would get damaged where they were. We ended up packing them all up in huge sheets of cardboard, but I'm not convinced they're really very safe still.

It is decidedly not good art 😂 I mean, they’re pretty, but they’re not valuable by any means

OP posts:
TunnocksOrDeath · 07/03/2025 18:25

The only way I'd say he has a point is that if it's "good" art that might get damaged, and can't be easily replaced, the safest place for it while you pack is probably the walls.
We had some paintings on the floor propped up against the wall for a while (long story) and it was quite a worry that they would get damaged where they were. We ended up packing them all up in huge sheets of cardboard, but I'm not convinced they're really very safe still.

Original poster
Illprobsregretthis · 07/03/2025 18:24

Psychostates · 07/03/2025 18:22

It'll need wrapped thought tp protect it? I think this was one of the first things I did when we moved!

Yeah I’ve bubble wrapped it! So if he does remove it and put it back up he’ll be an absolute knob

OP posts:
Original poster
Illprobsregretthis · 07/03/2025 18:23

FanofLeaves · 07/03/2025 18:08

He’s responsible for it on the day then. Even if it gets forgotten or smashed in transit because he hasn’t packed it properly. Same as all the other stuff he’s not bothering to help with.

Yeah, I will def make it his problem on the day! Tbf we are very different, I am v type A with a spreadsheet of things to do and he’s more of a “go with the flow” kind of guy. Although I do wonder how much of the flow he’d be able to go with if he didn’t have me in the background orchestrating things / feeding his children / setting up direct debits, etc. like the man is 33 and has never directly paid council tax - I just tell him how much to transfer…

OP posts:
Psychostates · 07/03/2025 18:22

It'll need wrapped thought tp protect it? I think this was one of the first things I did when we moved!

EmotionalSupportBlanket · 07/03/2025 18:21

He's being an arse. I've moved multiple times over the years. We've always done the packing ourselves and the last couple of days you're basically camping because everything has been packed!

Original poster
Illprobsregretthis · 07/03/2025 18:21

Offcom · 07/03/2025 18:19

What’s unreasonable is that he’s asked why you removed something that’s being packed for a house move when you’re packing the house for a move. Like, I can see his point of view of thinking to leave it to the last minute but putting them back now it’s done Isn’t just unreasonable, it’s borderline insane?

Yeah so he hasn’t actually done it yet, more of an annoyed threat. I wouldn’t put it past him though

OP posts:
Original poster
Illprobsregretthis · 07/03/2025 18:20

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 07/03/2025 18:11

On moving day, you take the children and leave it to him, after all it will only take him 30 seconds!

Edited

That’s the plan! He’s also said this about the food cupboard, wouldn’t let me pack up the food and leave a few essentials - salt, pepper, peanut butter etc - in case I decide to channel Heston Blumenthal and use all the garam masala and jerk seasoning to make a culinary delight

OP posts: