Working in a PRU..any advice on getting the kids to respect me?

For me it was about building the relationship first. They've been let down by many things before they get to you. They don't trust.

Don't try to be their best friend. They want an authority figure that makes them feel safe. But always be kind and consistent
Use the disciplinary system appropriately and fairly

Humour is your weapon. They will shout and swear at you. Have a witty comeback

Let them see "you" as a person
I remember having a massive turnaround with one pupil when I asked his advice about my teenage son once they see you care they don't want to disappoint you
please don't think this is easy. It's exhausting and at times dangerous

https://panspandasuk.org/events/

There's free webinars for education professionals. Worth being aware that some of the behaviours seen in school, PRU etc is infection driven and can be addressed.

What made you want to work in a PRU? Hats off to you, I’ve been teaching 20 years and you couldn’t pay me enough to work in one of these. You’ve had a lot of good advice above, so if you’re passionate about teaching in this kind of setting then stick it out. But to be honest I’d probably look for something else.

Take an interest in them. Ask them about their lives and they'll warm to you and, eventually, behave for you because they like and trust you.

Shouldn't you be getting training and advice within the setting? It's lovely that people on MN are supportive and sharing ideas, but it's also a bit disturbing that some of our most vulnerable children are in a tricky setting without clear support processes, training, mentoring etc.

https://panspandasuk.org/support-resources/for-educational-professionals/

Be calmly consistent, fair, supportive and understanding.
Make sure each person feels noticed and valued and loved.

Agree. Safety, consistency and care.

This. Thank you. I used to do a lot of volunteer work with kids at risk of exclusion and some of the comments on this thread are really sheltered and unkind.

It takes a tough person to be abused all day and not take it personally. You need thick skin and resilience to do a job like that.

Agreed.

Warmth, humour and very clear boundaries worked for me. They respected me and liked me. Unfortunately they used to go to the local supermarket to "buy" me treats, but the vast number of chocolate bars in their pockets had clearly been stolen! I met up with one of my boys a few years later at a funeral and he was running his own business successfully. He was so grateful for my input into his education. Turned out he was a cousin of my DH. I'm very glad that I worked in a PRU.

Think about expectations. If a pupil is only likely to write 2 lines maybe don’t insist on date and title?
I once supported a pupil who school said was refusing to write. School wanted advice. She wrote a full side of A4 for me about Pokemon. Her special interest.
Some may prefer typing on a laptop, recording something etc. Look for and tap into interests.
I know there will be some non negotiables.
You might be better aiming for trust rather than respect.

Not all of those things all the time by the way! But sometimes all

Oh and they aren’t little shits they are kids probably with chaotic home lives, a lack of safe functioning adults around them, care experienced, with diagnosed and undiagnosed complex needs and trauma!

Agree with this - you actually start your post listing all the ‘bad’ things about them - but they are kids and everyone will have some fab bits - you need to find them (which takes time and trust) we used to call it mining for gold. I bet they don’t think anything good about themselves.

grab all the training you can, especially around a trauma informed approach, familiarise yourself with each child plan, what works for them, their triggers etc, any EHCPs or behavioural needs. Give it time they will test you to the limit ( because adults let you down, aren’t consistent, leave) and it will be worth it.

young people like this are a hard group so help them celebrate the tiny things - like turning up on time or even being there!

My DS has been in a PRU and like so many of these kids he has ADHD. He is 13 and young for his age but lots of this will still apply.

-Talking back, shouting, swearing, aggression is often an ADHD brain seeking a dopamine hit. Don't get into any arguments at all. None. Tell them once then don't respond.

• They may have learned that aggression gets what they want. DS would come home and say "I will kick my TA so I can go to pupil support and do my colouring". If I had my way there would be no exclusions because that's what they want.
• Rewards work if they are immediate. Do this page of work or read to someone or do this maths and you get... Well for DS it's usually game time. But have a very very tight control on electronics.

And look up ADHD Dude on YouTube. It's changed our lives.

And why do you think they behave like little shits?

Most kids who are little shits behave like that because they have parents who don't give a shit.

So although they can be little shits, let's not forget WHY they usually turn into little shits, as the majority in PRUs are from this sort of background.

They're still children and the right person in their life can make a huge difference.

It takes a tough person to be abused all day and not take it personally. You need thick skin and resilience to do a job like that.

My advice is it's not about you. My mum worked in PRUs for years and got kids through GCSEs that no-one thought they were capable of and I never, ever heard her talk about the kids the way you have. It doesn't really matter why they're there, it's your job to teach them for their benefit or at the very least keep them occupied. Games and things can help but they've probably been constantly written off and can tell if you're going to do the same.

Absolutely just talk about everyday boring mundane stuff. Shall I order some new highlighters/ a new water bottle/travel mug (Get Amazon up on board, get them to help me choose) have you seen this picture of my dog, can you believe she’s nearly four, shall I make the dog a birthday cake? (Google dog birthday cake recipes) etc etc. kids LOVE people asking their opinion, doesn’t matter what about 😂 I once spent three weeks on a quest to find a local shop that sold a particular chocolate bar - I told the kids that they would make my day if they could find it - every day they’d come in going ‘we checked in the petrol station’ or ‘we checked londis’ 😂😂😂😂 it’s nonsense but it’s huuuuuge for these kids who are disengaged and disaffected. They just need some normality and some calm.

It takes time. Time, patience, a sense of humour, investment in showing them that you care about them and that you’re genuine, not doing this just because it’s your job or because you’re trying to bribe/trick them into doing some work. Kids will see through bullshit!

Do you know their backgrounds? Have they experienced trauma? What led to the behaviours that landed them in the PRU?

What are their interests? Do they like music? Gaming? Would they play cards/a board game with you? What are their hopes for the future? Can you support them to find out more about their chosen job/career?

Consistency and fairness. Not entering into justifications or negotiations.

Every day is a new day.

High expectations are a form of respect.

Stay calm, show no fear, be friendly and build relationships. Ask their advice about something low stakes, but that they’ll be interested in (kfc or McDonald’s is a good place to start!) have you seen that x has opened in town...

This is exactly the advice I would give. 'Keep calm' is the mantra but if it is not the environment for you get out. It takes a type of person.

Also chat about your own pets if they have pets, chat about your own car if they love cars

I just wanted to say hats off to those that can handle working in a PRU.

OP, you sound great. Don’t beat yourself up if it’s not the right environment for you though.

Bit raw for me today because I work in a “naice” school and we have just excluded a boy I have worked with intensively for two years. He is starting at a PRU. 😔

Starting each day a fresh is great! I used to work in a PRU and now work with complex teens with autism. First and foremost is building a positive relationship. Kindness, warmth and humour, fair boundaries help. Find relatable topics, if they love music, sport, art, cars, animals, pets, gaming, fashion then ask them questions about these topics. Make the lessons relevant to their interests. If writing is difficult, how else can they show their knowledge? Are they having enough movement breaks or general movement within each lesson. Can you get out and about to other locations?