Should I just go back to working full time?

How is your company assessing your performance? Has any accommodation been made for you working part time? I'm just confused as it sounds like you are already working full time in terms of hours but the company are not happy on performance. Wouldn't full time mean having to work even longer hours (evenings weekends etc) and would the extra money be worth it?

I’m the voice of dissent but I’d probably consider option 1.

I have a husband who works away a lot, and it’s a struggle managing everything at home and working three days a week. I’m not sure that I could manage full time, although our children are younger.

The problem with a nanny is that it’s one person and therefore if they leave or they are unwell too are stuck. Recruitment could be tricky too.

I was in this position. I kept to 3 days but accepted that I'd be doing more work to keep myself afloat. I also went up by a half day quite often depending on needs at work.

I loved having time to go to school events and having more time with my children.

I was given the opportunity to go full time last year and took it and it's worked out well. I'm ready to commit to it now I've had a break and in some ways find it easier than part time.

What hours are you working? How on earth are you working a full
Time job in 3 days? When do you sleep??

Work as normal, just as OP's DH is.

Personally, if there's a way to argue it, in your position I would be trying to get full time hours but two days a week wfh minimum - so you can cut the commute on those days and still see your kids in the mornings/evenings

What would a man do?

Do your company make allowances for medical reasons? In my office things like chronic pain/IBS allow people automatically to work from home more days

Could you work a 7 day fortnight with the 7th day from home?

Agee with this - children require sacrifice and I don't think that should come from the children with a nanny

I recently decided to quit a school hours job which has been fantastic for the family as someone else said...but everything I looked at required 5 days a week after school care, unless DH collects. He WFH. DS is 6 and can't really amuse himself from 3-5 so I've decided to stay and cram the work into PT hours until he's about 8 or 9 and will just come home and play games on his own/practice football/go to friends' houses anyway. So I guess I am in the suck it up camp. I know why I am working, for intellectual stimulation, pension and future career, but sometimes I still wonder why I am bothering!

I don't understand why you're pointing out the commute as an obstacle to working 4 days when you're contemplating working 5 days?

I wouldn't want my DC to be in wraparound care at that age. I'd also expect DH to step up if possible. So no, I wouldn't go FT.

Her DH, maybe. I don't see what wouldn't be normal about OP working FT.

Same. My aim in this time has been to keep ticking over. But it has been hard to watch people progress further while I'm 'ticking over' (ie slogging my guts out, sometimes for free!).

Yes, if the work requires it I can work the hours and if not I don't work. I got to a point with my manager where I was really upset and frustrated but taking both a hit financially and professionally but actually still working on my non-working days. So we came to this solution (I'm v lucky with this I realise). It does make childcare tricky though, not all childcare provides are able to be flexible either.

Ofcourse you can. But it sounds like both the OP and her DH are in positions that don't correspond to your normal ft. I used to work as a nanny for children who never saw their parents and the lack of bond between parents and children was heartbreaking. My mum worked ft as a single mum and I never felt neglected so I'm not generalising.

Congrats on not being a misogynist.

I was referring to your comment about what is the point of having kids if someone else is caring for them.

As if they don't require food and a roof over their heads. And as if parents aren't entitled to continue to live their lives whilst being parents.

So you do a full time job really for part time pay

1. Your work needs to make your current role doable in 3 days a week if that is your contract. What can you eliminate...what takes time but brings little value..what can be delegated

@Dilemma4ever I think they are that bit older so able to assert themselves more which always makes me feel more comfortable with leaving them in childcare

There is less hands on care physically from
Parents, as they can dress themselves, shower themselves, keep bedrooms tidy, get bag ready etc etc you aren't doing so much for them on a physical level (but more mentally!) which makes it easier on you overall

Just my thoughts. I suffer from ME so looking after my energy always impacts decision making for me.

If you're already doing the work get paid for it!

Children don't need childcare forever. People don't have families just to have young children, those children grow older kids, teenagers, adults. It's really silly to say that somebody shouldn't have children just because they want to utilise childcare to keep their careers or other commitments going! It's a long term benefit for the children too.

And I say this as somebody who has put off career development and worked part time or remotely ever since I had my first child, as I wanted to be around for them. Everybody is entitled to weigh up their circumstances and decide what's best for them. It doesn't mean they're not looking after their children 🙄