Invitation to non consecutive bits of a wedding

I might have a birthday party and invite some people for food and drinks the rest just for the present opening 🤔

What on earth have I posted that would make you think I would go if anyone I knew was rude enough to send this sort of invitation?! Thankfully nobody I know ever has.

I don’t see being invited to be a seat filler for the photographs but not being entitled to any actual hospitality as being any sort of privilege, sorry, and I’m not enough of a doormat to show up if I ever did get that sort of invitation.

I think that only works if the wedding is local, so you can nip hone in-between. I did it once where we stayed over, but part of the hotel was available for casual dining so we could have ate there in between if we'd have wanted to. As it was, we got changed went into the local town for a bit.

That's more offensive!

I think being invited to any part of a wedding is a privilige rather than an insult. If the arrnangements don't suit then don't go.

Perhaps it is because I was brought up in a different type of community, so that's why this seems rude to me. Come to my wedding ceremony - but don't come to the reception?! Come back later when we've had the main part? We would invite people for the wedding. That's it. Short of funds? Nothing wrong with a simple venue with no fancy add ons, nothing wrong with a basic menu. The Australian poster upthread has the same experience.
However, some of the nicest weddings I've been to have been hosted by English people who didn't go in for the differentiation of friends, so it's obviously not always the case.

Tone down your planned outfits @TobyChestnut so that you won't look out of place in the middle going off to do something else. Maxi/midi dress and flat/platform sandals and shirt and chinos for the men.

Could you splash out for the night before at your premier inn so you have use of the room during the day?

'It's so bizarre to me to take an invitation as an insult'

Partial invite, to the free then cheaper bit. It is shit however you try to spin it.

Just invite to the night do if you can't afford to cater for the day do.

And I find it bizarre that any bride and groom wouldn’t realise they are insulting people by doing this so there you go.

I would happily do this. And I wouldn't think the couple were being arrogant to invite me to do so.

I'd have a nice day seeing the ceremony, having a nice afternoon somewhere and then coming back for drinks later.

If it didn't suit me I wouldn't do both ends. But at no point would I consider it rude for me to have been given the option. It's so bizarre to me to take an invitation as an insult.

Or they could scale back the level of catering - instead of a 3 course meal in a nice restaurant for 50 while 150 get nothing, they could rent a church hall or a sports club function room and buy in sandwiches / pizza / other cheap and filling food and feed everyone.

Of course, that wouldn’t look as good in the pictures and that’s far more important than the comfort of the guests. (/s).

I find generally when people say ‘space and budget won’t allow’, they mean ‘the choices I have made have resulted in predictable outcomes’.

I would say it’s down to social media and that absolutely doesn’t help but people have been trying to have weddings above their means no matter what that means for the guests for decades.

I don't see it as rude, if they've got limited space and budget (which everyone does) then the alternative is not asking certain guests at all. If the guest doesn't like what's on offer then they don't need to go.

That’s …. pretty much paraphrasing what the poster who did this said about her reasoning, yes (although she did throw in a bit about not being able to afford a meal for everyone).

It's actually a bit arrogant to think folk are so invested they'll be happy to watch the ceremony but can then twiddle their fingers for hours until the sausage rolls at the night do.

I hope this ends up in the dm then the wedding people can hang their heads in shame .

I've been to a wedding like this but we had family nearby and went there between ceremony and evening do.
There are lots of options. Don't go at all, go to one part or go to both parts and find something to do between them.

If you go to both parts then either dress smart, but not full on wedding smart so you don't need to bother getting changed or just get changed at your hotel or somewhere else. I've been to a couple of weddings recently which were a long drive but where I wasn't staying over so I didn't have a hotel room. I've just got changed and done my make up in a loo at the venue.

I’d really like to know how that conversation went when they were planning it.

”So a whole lot of people we invite to the first bit and the last bit, but not the middle bit? What are they supposed to do for six hours?”

”There’s loads to do! There’s the transport museum! Lovely cafe!”

”Just seems a bit….rude.”

”You’re saying it’s rude to invite them to our wedding?”

”No, I mean…”

”Look, it’s my day. I’ve got enough to think about. This is not my problem.”

Agree with those saying there is no obligation to go to both. Just go to the part you want to go to.

In all honesty, I wouldn't pay for a hotel stay for an evening invitation, but I know people do

If you do go along with it op just book a room for 2 nights. It'll be awful trying to kill time between a service and check in. Or just go dressed down, not in jeans obviously just without the fascinator and heels.

Not being offensive no just a bit thick and thoughtless.

I don't think it is a very good thing to do, though given that venues seem to increase costs when the word wedding is mentioned, can understand restricting numbers for a meal.

I would have accepted either the ceremony or the evening, and depending on distance from home, might have chosen the ceremony to save a night away.

As for Leicester, you could visit the cathedral and the Richard III centre next door.

Melton Mowbray?

This, I have absolutely no problem with an ‘evening only’ invitation. I’ve been to a couple (one for a work colleague, one where I knew a family member of the bride much better than I knew her). Having said that, they were both nearby and if the wedding is a long way away, I’d assume it was a courtesy invitation and nobody cared if I was there or not so probably not go.

I wouldn't go

It's all a matter of perspective. If I had a genuine relationship with the family I would assume they weren't being offensive.

It's bad enough the long wait between ceremony and meal when some couples seem to have the photo shoot as the main event but to be sent away to return for the night do is just absolutely ridiculous.