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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To attend a work conference at 36 weeks three hours from home?

87 replies

pleaseguveadvicenotattack · 06/03/2025 17:28

No flights involved but just driving, it's an all day and evening conference, I will bring my hospital bag just in case.

I have an elective c section so will see where the hospital is local to the conference just in case but am I nuts for doing this?!

I physically feel fine, but don't know if I'm being naive?

I really want to go as it's quite important. AIBU to consider?

OP posts:
Kitchensinktoday · 06/03/2025 18:05

What about the person who’s driving you there? Is it fair to present them with this sort of dilemma???

Twiglets1 · 06/03/2025 18:05

Yoheresthestory · 06/03/2025 18:01

I’d do it no bother. Even if you go into labour, you’d highly likely make it home grand.

Though OP isn’t driving themselves so that would require someone else to have to leave the conference early to drive them home.

Yoheresthestory · 06/03/2025 18:01

I’d do it no bother. Even if you go into labour, you’d highly likely make it home grand.

lnks · 06/03/2025 17:59

What is the reason for your elective CS? Do you or your baby have any medical conditions?

TizerorFizz · 06/03/2025 17:59

1 hour yes, 3 hours no. You would feel very alone and vulnerable if baby started to arrive. All your plans would be out of the window. I think I would decline. I had one 13 days over due and one 10 days early. You simply don't know what your body will do. First baby is often a longer labour and I would prioritise being comfortable and secure in my surroundings. I'd be on maternity leave! You won't be bored.

CMOTDibbler · 06/03/2025 17:59

I went on a training course a couple of hours away the week I was 34 weeks. Then had ds on the Friday so he managed to hold on till I was back, but it would have been more inconvenient if he'd decided to make an appearance where I was as he needed to be in SCBU for a week

Mandylovescandy · 06/03/2025 17:58

I did with my second at 37 weeks - 4hrs on train and overnight stay. Took a couple of things for hospital just in case. DC didn't show up until gone 41 weeks (which I thought was likely as DC1 was late too plus I thought they had dates a bit out) - might not have risked it if DC1 had been early

PriOn1 · 06/03/2025 17:55

Is it your first? I went to a concert with my husband at 41 weeks and just checked where the local hospital was before going. We were 3-4 hours from home, but it was my third and I was expecting a late arrival.

That said, other people go very early, so I understand other people saying don’t!

Crunchymum · 06/03/2025 17:55

pleaseguveadvicenotattack · 06/03/2025 17:44

@Crunchymum I'm 35

In that case I'd say crack on. If you feel okay and you are going to scope out the local hospitals / take your bag and notes then I'm sure you'll be grand.

Justgoingforaweeliedown · 06/03/2025 17:50

Another no vote. I went on a long weekend trip at 37 weeks having seen my midwife just days before. She said no worries about going, baby not in position and I'd be back at 40 weeks to discuss next steps. I went into labour within an hour of arriving home after the trip. Contractions were intense and 1 minute apart from early on. That 1.5hr drive would have been awful if I'd tried to make it back in labour. Also wouldn't have been happy to use the local hospital as there were complications and I was kept in for a week.

Original poster
pleaseguveadvicenotattack · 06/03/2025 17:44

@Crunchymum I'm 35

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 06/03/2025 17:43

When is it? How many weeks are you now? You may need to factor in not feeling as up for it then as you do now?

Fluffycloudsfloatinginthesky · 06/03/2025 17:41

I went from London - Birmingham for a meeting at 36 weeks - my manager was terrified!

Talipesmum · 06/03/2025 17:40

Yes I would have. Think we had an away 2 days thing when I was about 35 weeks, I remember being v v pregnant anyway. I had a pretty easy pregnancy and felt fine.

Thirteenblackcat · 06/03/2025 17:39

How long is the conference? Do you need to stay overnight? I’d probably say no I wouldn’t go but i had difficult births

WilmaTitsDrop · 06/03/2025 17:38

YANBU but then again I went almost 2 weeks over with all 3 of mine.

Twiglets1 · 06/03/2025 17:38

pleaseguveadvicenotattack · 06/03/2025 17:36

@Cakeandusername it would be viable to pull out - not ideal as I don't like messing people around but they know the situation and wouldn't hold it against me

Why not do that then? Go into work but not to this event.

Cakeandusername · 06/03/2025 17:38

I suppose if you had baby at hospital near conference would dh get there in time?
Afterwards how would you get home - there’s those rules about only being in car seat very short time for newborns.

Civilservant · 06/03/2025 17:38

I wouldn’t want to drive for that long / that far and would want info on the maternity and special care baby services at hospital at the destination and en route

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 06/03/2025 17:37

Yeah, wouldn't bother me, provided all was well until that point

minnienono · 06/03/2025 17:37

If you feel up to it no reason why not.

I went on maternity leave at 35 weeks myself

Sayshesheshe · 06/03/2025 17:37

I went to a wedding 4.5 hours away at 36 weeks without my husband. Slightly different I know but I felt totally fine and would have done the same for work too.

Original poster
pleaseguveadvicenotattack · 06/03/2025 17:36

@Cakeandusername it would be viable to pull out - not ideal as I don't like messing people around but they know the situation and wouldn't hold it against me

OP posts:
Mynewnameis · 06/03/2025 17:36

No way

Cakeandusername · 06/03/2025 17:36

Would it be more disruptive to work if you said yes then bailed last minute?
My thought would be fine to go but any twinges or not feeling up to it pull out.