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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

11+4 and having cravings - husband says to go out on bike to get snacks

134 replies

Tetchy321 · 06/03/2025 15:21

Hi,

So we live in a village that is not really within walking distance to shops. There is a service station that I could cycle to but I don't cycle that often and don't feel confident being near the motorway. I was feeling nauseous and didn't have nay snacks or food in the house that I wanted to eat due to nausea and aversions. We both WFH and I don't drive.

So anyway, I told DH that I wanted a snack and before I could finish what I was saying and explain that it can wait till he finishes work, he said I should cycle to the motorway service station. I'm working so can't really take the time - but he said it would take 10 mins max.

Am I unreasonable for feeling a little put out by this?

Edit: Just to add, I wasn't expecting my DH to go during the day, I would have waited until he had time to drive

OP posts:

Whattostudy · 06/03/2025 16:04

Kevinisnotacatname · 06/03/2025 15:53

I think you're getting a rough ride here so far OP - that sounds a shit cycle ride and I don't think it's at all unreasonable to ask your DH to drive to the shop after he's finished work

My DP would do this in a heartbeat for me without question or moaning and I'm certainly not pregnant!

In future though obviously buy more things in and think about driving lessons now before baby comes maybe

I second this OP. You do get some weird responses on mn sometimes. Reminds me of that thread where the OP’s partner had offered her and her friend a lift home and everyone was saying it was weird that he gives her a lift after a night out? Perfectly normal in my world.

You’re bloody pregnant! I’m sure the least he can do is drive and get you something you fancy. Especially given that you’re anxious. Ignore the stick up the arse brigade on here - YANBU.

Createausername1970 · 06/03/2025 16:01

Not sure what is unreasonable in all of this?
Your husband was working, so not unreasonable that he said you sort it yourself. Being pregnant isn't a reason not to cycle - unless there is drip feed that you have history of early m/c and need bed rest.

As another person has said, if getting a snack from the local shop is this difficult for you, what are your plans for when the baby is born and you need to get to nursery/playgroups etc.

DoAWheelie · 06/03/2025 16:01

Have a look on the delivery apps like Just Eat and Deliveroo or Uber Eats. Most of them have grocery stores on them now as well as corner shops and off licences. You might be able to get snacks delivered.

dogcatkitten · 06/03/2025 16:00

Deliveroo? Or Tesco Whoosh? But surely you have something in the house you could eat? Make sure you get some things you fancy next time you shop, silly position to put yourself in.

BendingSpoons · 06/03/2025 15:58

Food aversions are tough. It would be kind of your DH to go out after work. However I can sort of see his reluctance. How do you normally get around if you want to go somewhere alone?

IPM · 06/03/2025 15:58

I fancy a lot of things from the shops at inappropriate times (mostly at night when they're closed) but eventually I just eat something else or forget about it.

If you find it more difficult because you're pregnant, just double up on things when you do your weekly shop.

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/03/2025 15:58

Cycling a little each day will do you good (assuming you did prior to pregnancy? Obviously not a good idea to take up new exercise without medical advice).

Congratulations.

Mydustymonstera · 06/03/2025 15:57

How do you normally get anywhere?? Of course that cycle sounds rubbish. But you must leave the house without DH sometimes, how do you normally get about??

Original poster

Tetchy321 · 06/03/2025 15:57

I plan on learning how to drive asap! It won't be great to be dependant on lifts etc with a baby - I agree

OP posts:

Hayley1256 · 06/03/2025 15:56

What are you going to do when the baby comes?

loropianalover · 06/03/2025 15:56

Tetchy321 · 06/03/2025 15:55

It's not the cycling itself that worries me, it's the anxiety about being near the motorway and not being a confident cyclist. I do have anxiety anyway.

?? Then don’t go, he wasn’t forcing or insisting. You can simply not go to the shop.

MyUmberSeal · 06/03/2025 15:55

Come on OP, I think you know you are being a bit prissy. If you fancy a snickers and a packet of hula hoops (or whatever your snack of choice is), go and get them.

Original poster

Tetchy321 · 06/03/2025 15:55

It's not the cycling itself that worries me, it's the anxiety about being near the motorway and not being a confident cyclist. I do have anxiety anyway.

OP posts:

loropianalover · 06/03/2025 15:55

You’re both being silly. Plan your weekly food shop better to have a variety of things in. Get extra’s of your craving. Start driving lessons.

Onlyonekenobe · 06/03/2025 15:54

I mean this in the nicest possible way: you're going to need to change this mindset, and ideally the non-driving bit of your life given how remotely you live. This isn't tenable. YAB extremely U.

Kevinisnotacatname · 06/03/2025 15:53

I think you're getting a rough ride here so far OP - that sounds a shit cycle ride and I don't think it's at all unreasonable to ask your DH to drive to the shop after he's finished work

My DP would do this in a heartbeat for me without question or moaning and I'm certainly not pregnant!

In future though obviously buy more things in and think about driving lessons now before baby comes maybe

Nothatgingerpirate · 06/03/2025 15:52

YABU.

Couloir · 06/03/2025 15:52

Oops quoted wrong post

Couloir · 06/03/2025 15:51

PinkHotelPlease · 06/03/2025 15:39

You're not being unreasonable but I don't think he is either.

Is this really a sustainable living situation though if you can't drive? Are you going to be housebound all day with the baby when he's working?

So what did your DH say when you explained that you didn't expect him to go right away to fetch you junk food snacks, but were prepared to wait until he had time to drive?

EveryKneeShallBow · 06/03/2025 15:47

You aren’t more likely to have an accident than you usually would be. If you usually cycle, I’m not sure what 11 plus 4 has to do with it. I walked and cycled and rode horses throughout my pregnancies, no one suggested I shouldn’t.

Original poster

Tetchy321 · 06/03/2025 15:42

No, I'd need to wait until I felt it was clear enough to go. Just makes me nervous with cars coming in at speed from the motorway. I think most drive at reasonable speed but you get some drivers that may rush in.

OP posts:

MollyRover · 06/03/2025 15:41

Are there traffic lights?

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 06/03/2025 15:41

Are you going to learn to drive? What will you do with a baby?

Original poster

Tetchy321 · 06/03/2025 15:40

There is a long stretch of road up to the actual shop within the services that I would be sharing with traffic from the motorway albeit at 10mph. But I would need to cross over the entrance and exit for motorway traffic.. with lorries and all the thought if doing that makes me nervous

OP posts:

MollyRover · 06/03/2025 15:40

I cycled everywhere until I was about 35 weeks on all of my pregnancies, I didn't know there was a rule!

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