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AIBU?

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Primary mixed sex ed classes

36 replies

Pomtoo · 06/03/2025 15:04

I have twin DDs age 9 in year 5 at school. They will start to learn about puberty in school very soon and we have been told that the girls and boys will be taught together for this subject. I was OK with this but our class WhatsApp group has now erupted and parents aren’t happy that they are being taught together. Given some of the points being put across I’m now changing my view a little and wonder what others opinions are?
Parents in the group agree boys should learn about girls changes and girls should learn about boys, but just not in as much detail. And therefore should be taught separately so they feel comfortable discussing their own bodies and changes without having the opposite sex there. If worth noting, there are no trans identifying parents or kids in the class.
Just wanted to open up a discussion on peoples views on this if anyone wants to share?
TIA

OP posts:
Delphinium20 · 06/03/2025 16:57

I think separate is best. Of course, you can have a general class overview for all but separate sex education is really important especially because of the maturity differences between the sexes at that age. Girls will be going through puberty earlier than boys and it's a much more immediate issue for them. And girls deserve privacy to talk about their bodies without the interference of boys. I don't care how kind or respectful a boy may be (and there are many lovely boys at that age) his mere presence changes the dynamics of the class.

I'm sure this is true for boys as well. Shouldn't they have a space to talk and learn about their own bodies without the presence of girls?

Happystrider1 · 06/03/2025 16:55

I'd be concerned if they weren't all together. I would imagine some teachers would allow children to write down questions anonymously for the teacher to answer as to not cause embarrassment.

Surely boys learning that periods aren't a girls dirty secret is ideal? Not all boys have siblings or mothers who menstruate. My mum had a hysterectomy in her early 30's before I'd even started mine. My brother only properly learned about periods in school as no way was I talking about it in front of him during my teens. My dad was absolutely useless and had a massive freak attack when I leaked the once as a teenager.

IhaveanewTVnow · 06/03/2025 16:55

Trust the teachers on this. They really know what they are doing. They probably will have separate sex discussions. But you could have a discussion at home. School what’s app groups are a nightmare. Glad I’m not in that situation anymore.

Movinghouseatlast · 06/03/2025 16:50

I taught sex education in a primary school 25 years ago and it was the whole class together. So not a new thing. You are at liberty to remove your child I believe.

WhatMe123 · 06/03/2025 16:48

Surely doing it separate just reinforces that that's women's stuff, not for us males to worry about. I thought we were trying to reduce period stigma for women, I say do it all together

brunettemic · 06/03/2025 16:47

Yep, you can’t move for traumatised kids who’ve been through this experience can you? It’s on the news, both national and local, daily. Oh wait…never mind.
Parents WhatsApp groups make anything into the biggest something almost as a rule.

Pomtoo · 06/03/2025 16:44

Thanks for the insight. I think I would be OK with an overall discussion with both boys and girls mixed, then being separated for more in-depth chat. As in my OP I think they should learn about each other, but the WhatsApp group have said and I agree, more detailed discussions I feel they should be separated so they feel more comfortable - as PPs have said happen at their schools. Or can they not be separated for all of it and then boys get detailed info about themselves and an overview of the girls and then vice versa?

OP posts:
Wishboneswishes · 06/03/2025 15:21

We always taught Y5 and Y6 together as it’s important that they each have an understanding of puberty in both sexes.
As a pp has said, we did split girls and boys for a separate more sensitive chat with more detail on periods, wet dreams etc.

Catza · 06/03/2025 15:19

Nothing stops them from discussing their own bodies and changes at home though. By the time we had sex ed at school it was old news to me.
Of course kids should be taught together. It massively helps to remove the stigma around it and prevents threads like we had a few days ago where a male doctor didn't "deal with women's issues".

stargirl1701 · 06/03/2025 15:14

We haven't taught single sex education in primary schools since the early 1990s! Why don't boys need to know the details of female anatomy? Might help them as adults empathise with girls who are menstruating and might even help them find the clitoris!

Swiftie1878 · 06/03/2025 15:08

They tend to be taught together, then separated for more detailed discussion and questions. You need to trust the school and the process.
It’s important this stuff is taught properly to protect children. It gives them the knowledge and vocabulary they need to use to report if something ‘not right’ happens to them or their friends.

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