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AIBU?

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Original poster

'that £340 is too expensive for a staycation ?

162 replies

Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 10:05

My friend decided that she wants to have one night in a nice spa hotel for one night. So far so good. They can leave their kids at home, but we can't, so hers is only £225 whereas ours is £340, no spa treatment, just bed and breakfast.

Isn't that a bit too steep?

OP posts:
Original poster
Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 11:06

Jessieshome · 06/03/2025 11:02

What is their childcare, is it a nanny or something? Could your child maybe stay with their children with whoever is looking after them?

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No it's her DM that doesn't speak English very fluently, but her DC can communicate with their own grandma

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DivorcedMumOfAdults · 06/03/2025 11:05

A hotel that charges £140 per night for one child to sleep in parents room and eat breakfast is basically saying they don’t want kids. Your friend is possibly also saying the same thing.

Original poster
Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 11:05

cheddercherry · 06/03/2025 11:01

I think you’re maybe still missing that she’s not going to really want your child there if she’s leaving hers at home. Naturally your attention will be taken, you can’t obviously drink which sounds like what she wants to do? It just all seems a bit pointless to drag husband and child there for that much.

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When we talked about it (on Sunday) she said she could bring her DM.

So I think they talked about it and decided they wanted a spa hotel stay. Which is great, but not when it includes a 5yo.

I would do it just with her, but I don't think that's her plan. Had

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cardibach · 06/03/2025 11:04

Printedword · 06/03/2025 10:45

That's cheap for a hotel

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No it’s not. Many, many hotels are less than that, even in expensive places like London. Spa hotels can be more expensive, but even then it seems pricey.

Blondebrownorred · 06/03/2025 11:04

HÆLTHEPAIN · 06/03/2025 10:30

@AnnaQuayInTheUk @TooBored1 from the OED and Cambridge Dictionaries. Is there any need to be such dicks (incorrectly) pointing out something which is completely irrelevant?

edited - also @SnoozingFox

Edited

Exactly. Mumsnet are obsessed with a staycation meaning to stay at home and have days out. Everyone in real life calls days /nights away in the UK staycations.

mindutopia · 06/03/2025 11:04

I wouldn’t pay £340 a night to stay anywhere, especially not with my dc in tow. It’s perfectly reasonable for a few nights away. I’ve been to lots of spas and yet to find one where it was £340 of amazing for 24 hours.

And a staycation is where you don’t go away, just do day trips from home, like we all did during COVID. Otherwise it’s a holiday or a weekend break or a spa break. Everyone going past my bloody house to Cornwall all summer long is definitely going on holiday, not off for a staycation 7 hours drive from home.

Jessieshome · 06/03/2025 11:02

Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 10:55

Because they have 24/7 childcare and we don't. (Plus I would never go back to Spain but that's a different matter).

I think they definitely see it as a "couples escapade"

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What is their childcare, is it a nanny or something? Could your child maybe stay with their children with whoever is looking after them?

cardibach · 06/03/2025 11:01

Velmy · 06/03/2025 10:36

Also have I been doing staycations wrong?

I've always used 'staycation' for a trip where you don't leave your own country.

So if I go for two weeks holiday to the north of Scotland (from South awakes) it’s a staycation to you? Or would it have to be just 8n awakes? So if I went to Anglesey it wouldn’t be a holiday? I’d definitely call both holidays. All my childhood holidays were in the UK. Nobody would have thought we were ‘staying’ and I don’t now. The drift of ‘staycation’ to mean this sort of thing is really annoying and makes it seem like only travelling abroad is a proper break.

@Isitameproblem i would t do it with a small child whatever it cost. It won’t be fun to be at a spa with a small child. If it were further away, maybe, and treat it just as a weekend break, going out if the hotel to see and do things. As yours is so close to home there’s no point at all. Even if it cost pence.

InTheRainOnATrain · 06/03/2025 11:01

Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 10:52

It's only a 2 hour stay. Last time we went to a hotel that offered something similar he didn't want to stay the second time. It was almost 2 years ago, so things might have changed

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Yeah but that’s long enough to have a spa treatment. You and DH can also tag team. Or just go own your own. Or not at all. Given that’s the choice of hotel, personally I’d go with the family or not at all. I wouldn’t spend £300 a night to leave my kid at home and then be overrun by other people’s!

CrispieCake · 06/03/2025 11:01

Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 10:55

Because they have 24/7 childcare and we don't. (Plus I would never go back to Spain but that's a different matter).

I think they definitely see it as a "couples escapade"

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Just make it clear you can't do couples this time around.

I wouldn't drag my DC on a "relaxing" spa trip - it would make the entire trip pointless 😂.

DivorcedMumOfAdults · 06/03/2025 11:01

Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 10:55

Because they have 24/7 childcare and we don't. (Plus I would never go back to Spain but that's a different matter).

I think they definitely see it as a "couples escapade"

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Are they secret swingers !??😂

cheddercherry · 06/03/2025 11:01

Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 10:50

I suggested (originally) an Airbnb with a hot tub. Then no childcare problems and it still feels like a mini break.

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I think you’re maybe still missing that she’s not going to really want your child there if she’s leaving hers at home. Naturally your attention will be taken, you can’t obviously drink which sounds like what she wants to do? It just all seems a bit pointless to drag husband and child there for that much.

mrsm43s · 06/03/2025 11:00

Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 10:58

Yeah but they like going out on "double dates". We sometimes go out separately, but it's mostly joint experiences

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But you can't go on "double dates" with your 5 year old in tow. So that's not on the table regardless.

I expect they'd prefer adult only to hanging out with a 5yo

So, explain clearly, it is either you alone, or you can't go as you have no other childcare for your 5yo.

Original poster
Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 11:00

Quinlan · 06/03/2025 10:58

My boyfriend and I just spend £174 for one night in a spa hotel, then £50 for the thermal experience (90 minutes sole use of hot tub and sauna), then £125 for 2 treatments each.
We also went out for dinner and that was £195 for the two of us.
So, for one night away in the highlands, it was my all that cheap! Seems to just be what it costs now:

I actually think that's cheap!

OP posts:
Quinlan · 06/03/2025 10:58

My boyfriend and I just spend £174 for one night in a spa hotel, then £50 for the thermal experience (90 minutes sole use of hot tub and sauna), then £125 for 2 treatments each.
We also went out for dinner and that was £195 for the two of us.
So, for one night away in the highlands, it was my all that cheap! Seems to just be what it costs now:

Original poster
Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 10:58

mrsm43s · 06/03/2025 10:56

But you do have 24/7 childcare, because there are two of you and you could go alone leaving your DH to look after your shared child.

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Yeah but they like going out on "double dates". We sometimes go out separately, but it's mostly joint experiences

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Nina1013 · 06/03/2025 10:56

Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 10:15

It's only one child! Which is why I'm so against paying £120 on top for a 5yo

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You’re paying for a different room type, not paying £120 to add the child. Standard double or twin rooms won’t allow 3 people in.

mrsm43s · 06/03/2025 10:56

Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 10:55

Because they have 24/7 childcare and we don't. (Plus I would never go back to Spain but that's a different matter).

I think they definitely see it as a "couples escapade"

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But you do have 24/7 childcare, because there are two of you and you could go alone leaving your DH to look after your shared child.

Shmee1988 · 06/03/2025 10:55

Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 10:20

I call it a staycation because it's a 20 min drive....

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I thought a stay-cation was a vacation in the same area/country you live in? Blimey, seems I've been getting that wrong for a while lol 😂

Original poster
Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 10:55

CrispieCake · 06/03/2025 10:52

Why do your husband and child have to come? Why would they have come if you'd opted for the boozy Spain trip?

Are you all surgically attached or is there some other issue I'm not seeing?

Drunken nights out and spa trips only work without kids. Most people don't have 24/7b childcare so the obvious solution is the other parent.

Because they have 24/7 childcare and we don't. (Plus I would never go back to Spain but that's a different matter).

I think they definitely see it as a "couples escapade"

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Sophie3003 · 06/03/2025 10:54

I thought the two ladies would do a night away together, I did a girls night package with a friend with afternoon tea, dinner, spa and treatment and it was lovely ☺️

Jk987 · 06/03/2025 10:53

Why does your room cost more than her? Are you bringing the kids to a spa hotel? Defeats the object surely? Can't they stay at home with Dad?

CrispieCake · 06/03/2025 10:52

Why do your husband and child have to come? Why would they have come if you'd opted for the boozy Spain trip?

Are you all surgically attached or is there some other issue I'm not seeing?

Drunken nights out and spa trips only work without kids. Most people don't have 24/7b childcare so the obvious solution is the other parent.

Onlycoffee · 06/03/2025 10:52

Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 10:34

It's actually a "family friendly" spa hotel, but children can only use the pool, and a sensory garden. That's it.
We can't arrange overnight childcare we have no family around to do that for us.

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Can't you go without your husband and he can look after your DC?

Although it's still expensive for a random night away. Better to put it towards a couple of nights so you can drink and lie in and lazy around the next day!

Original poster
Isitameproblem · 06/03/2025 10:52

InTheRainOnATrain · 06/03/2025 10:47

Four Seasons Hampshire is a kiddy paradise. A luxury kiddy paradise but still nevertheless overrun with small people! And the kids activities are amazing- the kids pool especially is so good! Great place to take your 5YO, they’ll love it, you’ll love it. And I think that’s absolutely amazing value for it- when we went with ours it was about £1000 a night for a suite.

Your friend is mad going there for a child free break though. But that’s her choice! I would go as a family, I don’t think you’ll regret it. And you can have adult spa time with your friend whilst the 5YO enjoys the kids club. I think it should work very well.

Edited

It's only a 2 hour stay. Last time we went to a hotel that offered something similar he didn't want to stay the second time. It was almost 2 years ago, so things might have changed

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